Fade Away
by jade
Summary: AU. For Inuyasha, the world seemed to collapse around him after the death of his parents. Now, when people aren't what they seem and everything is so fragile, everyone struggles to find something to hold onto. Completed!
1. Part One

I finally get to type this up. This is going to be a novel of mine and I sort of just replaced the characters with Inuyasha people, but see, it still makes sense. I'm not going OOC on people. Okay, so the way that I'm doing chapters is weird BECAUSE I couldn't think of a good way of dividing up chapters so I get to 300 k and then the chapter stops because fanfiction.net is really picky about it. So, you get really long chapters. ^_^. 

Note: Just forget all the relations right now. No one is related like they are in the series. Yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

Warnings: Sad, angst, bullying, depression, adult situations.

Fade Away

         Inuyasha tugged on the collar of his suit. He didn't like it because it was too tight and the suit was hot and prickly. It was August and he was outdoors. Most people sent him dirty looks every time he fidgeted during his uncle's speech. The speech was boring and depressing. Hadn't they been feeling this way for long enough?

         Next to him, his little sister Rin tugged on his sleeve and whimpered slightly. The adults just sent her sympathetic looks. She was a six-year-old girl, and so was entitled to sympathy, but Inuyasha should know how to behave at the age of ten.

         "Okay, come on." Inuyasha took her hand and they stood up and walked away from the open grave. Did he want to see his parents lowered into the ground? That made the death final, irreversible. He didn't want to think about it right then. 

         They walked a fair distance away, while relatives and friends all looked at the two orphaned children with pity as they stood under the shade of a tree in the cemetery. 

         "Why do they have to talk about it like that?" Rin asked in a small voice. "Mommy and daddy were happy, they didn't act all sad."

         "That's because they don't know." Inuyasha looked at the crowd bitterly. He hated the pity he was receiving and the impersonal pity from people he barely knew was the worst of it all. No one could possibly understand what was going on. "They don't know anything."

         "I don't wanna go back to that." Rin sat down, tugging Inuyasha to the ground next to her.

         "Neither do I." Inuyasha agreed, putting his arm around his sister. "It would be cool if we could just sit here and never have to listen to everyone feel sorry for us." 

         "I wish mommy and daddy were still here." Rin voiced what they were both really thinking. 

         _So do I._

_         But we don't have control over that._

_         "Inuyasha, Rin, we're just running to the store real quick, okay?" Their mother, a dark-haired woman with brown eyes poked her head into the living room where Rin was coloring and Inuyasha was playing video games._

_         "'Kay." The two of them said simultaneously, obviously distracted by their activities. _

Their parents had never come back. They had been rushed to the hospital when they had gotten into a head on collision with a drunk driver. Inuyasha and Rin had been taken there by their aunt and uncle. As soon as they arrived and were about to go in, their parents died. They had never gotten to say anything to them. Not an 'I love you' or an 'it'll be okay.' It was the fact that there was no reassurance that had stung for Inuyasha and Rin the most. They were gone, and they weren't sure how it was going to be anymore.

         But they were about to find out. 

         *                                   *                                   *_  _

         Although it seems nothing worse can happen, something does, destroying our faith in the undying belief that of course things _had _to get better. This is not so. But to the human mind, yes, it feels that way. For our suffering we should be rewarded. Is your suffering worth anything? Is an emotion so great that it should be given some sort of payment for being felt? 

         Inuyasha and Rin looked at the woman sitting in front of them with mild curiosity, but something in Inuyasha was giving him a bad feeling. She had met them at the gathering after the funeral, briefly introducing herself, telling them they were neat little children after a small talk and then leaving. What could she possibly want now?

         "Hello, Inuyasha, Rin." She folded her hands on her clipboard, gave them a smile that was reminiscent of a first grade teacher. "You remember me don't you?"

         "Mitada-san." Inuyasha spoke.

         "That's right." Mitada-san's smile widened as if he had just done something brilliant. "I'm your social worker. Do you know what that means?"

         "No." Inuyasha already didn't like the woman. Rin clung to his arm as she sat next to him on the couch. 

         "It means that I have to make sure that you live in a nice home now that your parents have passed away." Mitada-san explained to the two of them in a bright voice. 

         "I thought we were living with our aunt and uncle now." Inuyasha gave her an odd look. 

         "Well," Her smile faded just the smallest amount. "The thing is, your aunt and uncle already have five children. Two more couldn't possibly fit in this house." 

         "Who's taking us in then? Grandpa?" Inuyasha guessed.

         "None of your relatives are able to take you." She went on, her smile going to its usual brightness. "So, we have to turn to other options."

         "What the hell does that mean?" Inuyasha was now thoroughly alarmed by her. What was she saying? Next to him, Rin wasn't saying anything, but was watching the woman with large, fearful eyes.

         "Now, there's no need to get upset." The woman's expression changed to plastic concern. "I'm about to tell you."

         "Get on with it then!" Inuyasha snapped at the woman, tired of her faked expressions as though she knew the children at all or really cared.

         "Alright, calm down. Now, we've found a home for Rin." The woman hesitated before going on. "But we couldn't find a family for you Inuyasha, so, we're going to put in what we like to call a home. It's a place with other children who are waiting to be adopted." 

         "An _orphanage?" A swelling indignity and rush of anger was flowing through Inuyasha. "You're going to separate us?!"_

         "I don't wanna go!" Rin yelled, standing up as though her height would give her some sort of advantage. "You can't take Inuyasha away from me!" 

         "Now children, you have to listen." Mitada-san began patiently. "The law says that you have to live with a family until your eighteen. I didn't want you two to get separated, but I couldn't find a home that would take in both of you. And Inuyasha, it is _not an orphanage. It's a home."_

         "It's an orphanage!" Inuyasha stood up next to Rin. "What the hell else do you call it?" 

         "Really, you should watch your language at your age." Mitada-san frowned slightly. "Now-"

         "We aren't going, lady and you can't make us!" Inuyasha grabbed his sister's hand and together they ran out of the room and upstairs to the bedroom they had to share. Their cousins that had been in that room now all shared a different room because their mother insisted on it. Inuyasha slammed the door shut and Rin burst into tears.

         "Inuyasha, Inuyasha, don't let them take me away." Rin hugged her brother and cried against him. "Please, don't let them."

         "We aren't going." Inuyasha said it again, somehow making it finalized. 

         There was a tentative knock on the door.

         "Inuyasha? Rin?" Their aunt opened the door. "I just got done talking to Mitada-san." 

         "We aren't going!" Inuyasha insisted. 

         "I'm sorry, you have to." Their aunt closed her eyes. "We just can't afford to keep the two of you. I'm sorry." 

         "I hate you!" Rin yelled at her. Their aunt looked shocked before nodding her head. 

         "I...I'll go get your suitcases." Their aunt turned and walked out the door. "You're leaving tomorrow." 

         "Tomorrow?" Inuyasha felt his mouth go dry.

         Why was this happening? Wasn't it enough that his parents died? No, whatever demons were cursing him had to take his sister from him, his little sister. Oh, he would pretend that he was annoyed by her and she was just a bother to him, but he loved her. She was always there, trying to draw him pictures to make him feel better, sing silly songs and run around, laughing over some matter that only she knew about. 

         _Why don't they just kill us too? _

_         Then we could all be together again._

_         "Inuyasha, I turned six today!" Rin announced proudly. "One day, I'll be as big as you!"_

_         "You can't be as big as me. I'm older." Inuyasha told her in a superior tone. _

_         "Then I'm gonna as old as you." Rin insisted._

_         "You can't be, dummy." Inuyasha poked her forehead. It was a childish flight of fancy that Rin was giving him. _

_         "But what if we get older and don't know each other? If we're the same age, we can always be together because you won't get older and forget about me." Rin explained. _

_         "Hey, do you think I could just forget about you? I'll always remember that I have a little sister named Rin." Inuyasha reassured her. _

He didn't say anything like that now. He would remember her, but they wouldn't separate the two of them. They couldn't just tear them apart. 

         *                                   *                                   * 

         They had been no help with packing at all, partly hoping that if they weren't packed, they wouldn't have to go. Their aunt and uncle packed up all of their things anyway. 

         They had refused to go down to dinner. 

         But that didn't stop it either.

         So they went to bed. Maybe they could sleep through it or wake up and find that everything had worked itself out. Ah, the human imagination and it's beautiful optimism! And, oh! Oh, reality and it's ugly truth. 

         They were woken up and forced to dress in nice clothes. Then they waited in the living room before they heard the sound of a car drive up and knew what it meant. It meant that they were going to be taken away. It was here and there was no stopping it. 

         Mitada-san kept trying to talk to them, but they said nothing to her. They just watched out the windows, dreading the moment the car stopped and they would never see each other again. It was hours of knowing with each passing moment that they couldn't stop it. Everything had been taken away from them.

         And finally, the car stopped in front of a white house with blue trim. Mitada-san opened Rin's door and Rin screamed. 

         "NO!" She hit Mitada-san and dove into Inuyasha's seat, clinging to him. "No, no, no!" 

         "Rin, it's time to meet your new family." Mitada-san gave that fake concern, and Rin only held onto the only constant in her life with all her might. 

         "They aren't my family! Inuyasha is my family!" Rin declared, tears starting to run down her cheeks. 

         "I won't let you take her away." Inuyasha held on just as tight. 

         "I didn't want to have to do this..." Mitada-san's gaze hardened and she firmly put her hands on Rin's waist and pulled. Rin cried out. Inuyasha tried to keep a hold on her but Mitada-san was stronger then him. She pulled Rin until Inuyasha was only holding onto her by his hands.

         Rin's brown eyes full of tears met his violet ones and he realized that he was crying as well. He was crying, even though he hadn't cried since the day he found out his parents were gone. 

         "I'll come and get you one day!" Inuyasha promised. "I'll come back for you and we'll run away together!"

         "I love you Inuyasha." Rin held on tightly. "Don't let go."

         "I can't hold on." He was so frustrated and his tears blurred his vision on her. "I can't hold on."

         "You'll come back and get me some day!" Rin was finally tugged completely free and she struggled, kicking and flailing to get to her brother. Mitada-san shut Rin's car door and held firmly onto her as she took her to the front door.

         The last time Inuyasha saw her that day was when Rin turned toward him just as the door opened and the two went inside. Rin's face was full of tears but she smiled at him. 

         She smiled to tell him she believed in him. 

         *                                   *                                   *

         "I'm Yumi, but you can call me anything you want." The woman beamed at the little girl, feeling a little uneasy because the girl had the signs of someone who had just been crying. Her husband, Kenji, and her son Sesshomaru were also there. Kenji was smiling at Rin as well, but Sesshomaru was just as he always was. Silent, and simply watching what was happening around him without expression.

         Sesshomaru hadn't spoken since he was five years old. Yumi and Kenji continually prayed that one day he would speak again. He was now eleven years old and had been to psychiatrist after psychiatrist who could just not get him to open up no matter what they did. He wasn't catatonic though, and he even went to school. 

         "I'm Kenji, but same goes for me." Kenji introduced himself. 

         "And this is Sesshomaru." Yumi introduced the boy. "He's your new brother."

         "I don't want a new brother!" Rin twisted free from Mitada-san's hand on her shoulder and ran from the room, into a bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind her. 

         "She seems a bit upset..." Kenji looked at the social worker for an explanation.

         "She just needs to adjust." Mitada-san explained easily. "This is a common thing among children when they are first taken in. Some won't eat, some won't even speak." 

         Sesshomaru walked quietly out of the room. Yumi watched him go, feeling even worse.  Mitada-san got Rin's clothes and things before giving them one final pep talk and leaving to drive Inuyasha to the orphanage. 

         Yumi went and knocked on the bathroom door. 

         "Rin, are you alright in there?" Yumi asked. 

         "Go away!" Rin's voice came brokenly through the door. 

         "I would but..." Yumi tried to think. "The bathroom is an everybody room and we can't have it all to ourselves. If you do want to be by yourself, you might want to go to your room. Bedrooms are a personal room, which means that it's yours and you can be in there by yourself if you want." 

         The bathroom door opened, much to Yumi's relief. Rin stepped out.

         "Would you like to see your room?" Yumi asked. Rin nodded in reply and Yumi led her to the room that they had set up for her. Adopting a child had been a big deal. Many people had said she should give Sesshomaru up for adoption, even her own parents. But her and Kenji weren't willing to give up. It was amazing the amount of patience Kenji had for the child who wasn't even his. He was just the stepfather, but he seemed to truly want to help Sesshomaru. 

         They had adopted another child in the hopes that maybe a sibling would help Sesshomaru. But what if it didn't work? Yumi tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. 

         "This is your room." Yumi opened the door. The room was decorated in a neutral blue, since they had not been sure what kind of color Rin would like. "If you don't like the color, you just tell me or Kenji and we'll change it." There were a couple of nice paintings of landscapes on the walls, a closet and chest of drawers that were both empty. And a bookshelf full of books that they had picked up secondhand that should be suitable for Rin's age. 

         Rin didn't say anything, she just went and laid down on her bed. Yumi took that as her cue to exit, and she did. 

         "Just call if you need anything." Yumi wondered if somehow, _she_ had broken this little girl's heart.

         *                                   *                                   * 

         "This is it, The Takahashi Home For Children." Mitada-san looked in the rearview mirror at Inuyasha. The last traces that he had been crying were gone now. 

         "It looks stupid." Inuyasha glared at her as she came around the side and opened his door. 

         "Hey! Mitada-san!" Another woman came out. "How are you?"

         "Fine, I've just come to drop off our newest arrival." Mitada-san gestured toward Inuyasha, who was openly glaring at everything that happened to wander into his gaze. "Can you get some help with Inuyasha's bags?" 

         "Oh yeah." The woman signaled inside and a man came out to get the bags. "Come on Inuyasha, let me show you around." Inuyasha made a noise that showed he didn't care one way or another if he saw the place. 

         "Well, I've got to get back now." Mitada-san patted Inuyasha on the head, and he swatted rather viciously at her. The woman decided not to try and touch the ten-year-old boy as she began to show him where the cafeteria was located, as well as the two classrooms before deciding to just show him to his room. 

         Inuyasha wasn't even paying attention to her.

         "You'll be sharing a room with our three other ten-year olds." Mitada-san patted him on the head. "You'll all get along great."

         "I wouldn't bet on it." Inuyasha muttered under his breath. She opened the door. 

         "Kouga? Kikyo? Kagura? Are you in?" The woman asked. There was no one in there but a giggle that sounded muffled revealed that indeed, there was someone in the room. 

         "Shh." A voice hushed the giggler.

         "How long do we have to do this?" A boy's voice tried to whisper but failed miserably.

         "Shut up Kouga!" A girlish voice snapped.   

         "Where are you hiding?" The woman chirped merrily.

         "You ruined it, dork." The female voice snorted before there was the surprised sound of someone being shoved and a boy came out from under the bed. 

         He was scrawny and a little on the short side, the type of kid that usually get picked on, wearing thick black framed glasses. His hair was long, but pulled back in a ponytail, and he had deep blue eyes.

         "Ow, Kagura." He rubbed his shoulder. 

         "Wuss." Another female voice told him and the other female giggled. The two girls crawled out from under the bed.

         One of the females has a slightly superior expression on her face as she came out, her dark hair pulled back from blood red eyes in a ponytail, while the other girl had a rather uncaring expression that suggested she was bored, long dark hair that was braided, and dark brown eyes. They both stood and surveyed Inuyasha with mild disdain. 

         "Another boy?" The one with blood red eyes asked with a semi pout.

         "What's wrong with boys?" The boy adjusted his glasses as he got up.

         "Inuyasha, these are your new roommates." The woman had an expectant smile as she turned to the others. 

         "I'm Kagura." The red-eyed girl pointed to herself. "This is Kikyo." The long-haired girl nodded her head at him.

         "And I'm Kouga." The boy spoke up. Kagura patted him on the back with an innocent expression. 

         "Oh sorry Kouga, almost forgot about you." Kagura gave the blue-eyed boy a sweet smile. "Can you go get Kikyo and me a snack?" 

         "Okay! I'll get you something too, Inuyasha." Kouga nodded eagerly before leaving. Inuyasha felt a snicker escape as he saw a 'kick-me' sign on Kouga's back. Kagura and Kikyo collapsed in laughter.

         "Falls for it every time." Kagura choked out. The woman had missed the sign on Kouga's back, and just smiled indulgently before leaving. "That's the empty dresser, you'll be sleeping in that bunk. Kouga sleeps in the top one but you can just kick him out if you want to."

         "Okay." Inuyasha shrugged. He threw his suitcases on the bed. Kikyo climbed up the ladder to the bunk above him and came right back down a moment later with a Gameboy in hand.

         "Why doesn't he hide it somewhere else?" Kagura asked. Kikyo grunted in reply. Kagura turned to Inuyasha. "Welcome to the Takahashi Home For Unwanted Kids." 

         "What?" Inuyasha turned towards her.

         "This is where they put kids when they can't find 'em a home." Kagura explained. "Then they forget about them."

         "I'm only going to be here a month." Inuyasha frowned.

         "Ha!" Kikyo didn't look up from the Gameboy. "That's what they told me."

         "Kikyo and I have both been here since we were seven." Kagura explained. "Another three years and we can kiss being adopted good-bye."

         "Three years?" Inuyasha raised his eyebrows in question.

         "We'll be thirteen, and no one wants to adopt a teenager." Kikyo explained as she concentrated on her video game. 

         Kouga came in with the 'kick-me' sign in his hand, a plate full of cookies, and his face red with embarrassment and anger.

         "Kagura!" Kouga threw the piece of paper down. "Stop doing that!" Kagura and Kikyo started laughing. Kagura waltzed over and grabbed the plate.

         "Thanks Kouga." Kagura grinned at him.

         "I mean it." Kouga tried to pull himself up to full height but he was still shorter then Kagura.

         "Maybe I'd stop if you didn't fall for it all the time." Kagura rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do about it Kouga?"

         "I...I..." Kouga tried not to look down at his feet.

         "He'll stutter." Kikyo cracked quietly from the Gameboy.

         "Hey! Kikyo! That's mine!" Kouga protested when he spotted what Kikyo was playing with.

         "No it's not." Kikyo countered calmly.

         "Yeah it is, I wrote my name on it!" Kouga pointed out. Sure enough, on the back written in black sharpie was Kouga's name.

         "Kagura?" Kikyo asked in something close to a plea, though she was obviously distracted.

         "It's hers." Kagura punched him in the arm and then bought the plate of cookies over to Kikyo.

         "I want one." Kouga piped up.

         "Oh! How rude of me, do you want some Inuyasha?" Kagura offered the plate to Inuyasha who took some. Kagura divided the rest of the cookies between her and Kikyo before handing the empty plate to Kouga.

         "Kagura..." Kouga was shaking as he held onto the plate. Kagura looked up with a cookie in her mouth. "Just stop it!" As he ran from the room, Kagura and Kikyo just laughed. Inuyasha briefly wondered why they picked on the blue-eyed boy, but didn't ask.

         *                                   *                                   *

         That night, Inuyasha was woken up by Kouga, who was hanging over his bunk. 

         "What?" Inuyasha groaned.

         "Shhhh! They'll wake up." Kouga pointed at the girls' bed. "Help me get the Gameboy back from Kikyo."

         "Do it yourself." Inuyasha rolled over so he wasn't facing Kouga.

         "Come on, we're the only boys in the room." Kouga pointed out. "If you stick up for me, I'll stick up for you."

         "You'll stick up for me?" Inuyasha looked at him incredulously. "You can't even stand up to Kagura."

         "Yeah I can!" Kouga defended loudly.

         "Shut up, Kouga." Kagura's voice came from the other side of the room.

         "And don't even _think about trying to steal my Gameboy." Kikyo added on._

         "It's mine, right Inuyasha?" Kouga asked the violet-eyed boy. 

         "Whatever, I don't care." Inuyasha grumbled. 

"See?" Kouga looked at the other bunk smugly. 

         "Kouga, if I have to get up, I'm so going to hit you." Kagura threatened. 

         "Go ahead, Inuyasha will hit you back." Kouga countered.

         "Shut up Kouga." Inuyasha told him.

         "Thank you." Kikyo's voice sounded irritated.

         Kouga felt betrayed before climbing back under his blankets, his arms curled around his pillow until he was in a tight little ball. 

         He had been alone since his father had died of a heart attack. The kids at school had shoved him and made fun of him. He had hoped that the kids at the orphanage would understand and accept him. But they acted the same way.

         Maybe no one could like him. Maybe this was the way things would always be. Kouga squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. No, he would change that. One day he would be liked by lots of people. One day...

         _I'll show them._

_         I'll show them that they shouldn't treat me like I'm nothing..._

_         I'll show you Kagura..._

_         *                                   *                                   *_

         "Rin? Rin are you hungry?" Yumi knocked on the door. "Rin, are you in there?" Yumi heard someone behind her and turned to see her son standing there silently, looking past her at the closed door. "Oh, Sesshomaru, there's breakfast waiting for you in the dining room." Sesshomaru gave no sign he had heard her but walked off toward the dining room. 

         "Is she still in there?" Kenji questioned his wife.

         "I think so." Yumi bit her lip. "Oh Kenji, what if she doesn't come out?"

         "Just give her some time." Kenji told her. "In the meanwhile, why don't you eat something?"

         "Alright." Yumi nodded. "Do you think we should call Mitada-san?"

         "Why don't I call her and see if there's anything we can do to comfort Rin?" Kenji suggested. They went into the kitchen where Sesshomaru was taking a plate of toast out of the room. 

         "Sesshomaru, wouldn't you rather eat that in here?" Yumi tried to stop him, but he shrugged her away and went out of the dining room.

         _I wish I didn't have the feeling I'm a shoo-in for World's Worst Mom._

A few minutes later, Kenji came in.

         "Well, she said just what I did." Kenji informed his wife. "She's just having trouble adjusting."

         "I'm going to go check on her again." Yumi stood up, not bothering to eat anything.

         "Yumi, will you eat something after this?" Kenji asked in worry.

         "Yes." Yumi smiled at his concern. She made her way to the hallway where she saw Rin's door opened. She peeked inside.

         The sight made her heart skip a beat.

         Sesshomaru with the plate of toast and Rin with a puffy face looking at him in confusion. 

         "Do you want some?" Yumi felt her eyes tear up at the sound of her son's voice. 

         "O-okay." Rin smiled at him. "You're Sesshomaru, right?"

         "Yes." Sesshomaru reaffirmed. "Why are you crying?"

         "Because my brother...they took him away..." Rin's eyes teared up. 

         "Oh." Sesshomaru seemed to understand exactly what was going on. "They're always telling me not to be sad, but if you want to be, then you can."

         "Are you sad?" Rin inquired. 

         "Hmm..." Sesshomaru seemed to think about it. 

         "This toast is good. My mom used to make it extra buttery for me like this." Rin seemed to realize that Sesshomaru wasn't going to say anything more on that particular subject. Yumi turned and ran into the dining room.

         "Are you going-" Kenji was cut off.

         "He's...he's talking!" Yumi felt tears of happiness start to run down her face. "He was talking to her!" 

         "Sesshomaru was talking?!" Kenji stood up and they ran back where Sesshomaru and Rin were eating toast on Rin's bed. 

         "You have pretty hair." Rin commented as she looked studiously at his long white locks. "It's white like an old man's."

         "Old man's?" Sesshomaru looked a little perturbed. Then he seemed to understand as comprehension relieved the slight tension in his face. "It's always been like this." 

         Yumi and Kenji turned to each other and hugged. It seemed they had found the cure that they had been looking for.

         *                                   *                                   *

         The psychiatrists said it was remarkable that this new sibling had caused him to speak. Sesshomaru spoke primarily to Rin and not in front of other people. He spoke rarely to his parents, but he became mute anytime someone tried to get him to talk about why he hadn't spoken or what made him speak again. 

         Yumi watched the two siblings happily, just glad to see Sesshomaru starting to enjoy his childhood as he pushed Rin in the swing Kenji had hung from a tree in the backyard. They would spend hours like that, Rin swinging or picking flowers and Sesshomaru, always there, watching out for her. When the school year started, Sesshomaru was with Rin as often as possible. You rarely saw Rin without Sesshomaru right next to her. 

         She would read to him. Sesshomaru listened to Dr. Seuss and other books that he had read when he was her age over and over again. Sesshomaru would sketch pictures of castles for Rin because Rin had decided that she was going to be a princess when she grew up. He would call her a princess and act as her knight. Yumi found it endearing and took pictures and videotaped this whole happy time. 

         Rin would speak freely of her feelings. She would talk about how she missed her big brother Inuyasha, whom previously the family had known nothing about. Sesshomaru didn't seem to like any mention of this brother. In fact, whenever someone was doing something with Rin, Sesshomaru got extremely annoyed and jealous. 

         "He worships her." Kenji said, shaking his head next to her. "I don't know what her secret is, but I have to admit, she's an amazing little girl. And you know what? She doesn't even know it."

         "She'll realize it one day." Yumi stated clearly. 

         "I don't think anything could separate those two." Kenji commented. "At least, even if it tried to, Sesshomaru wouldn't allow it."

         *                                   *                                   *

         "Dammit, no, Kagura stay out there and keep watch." Inuyasha told the dark-haired girl before shutting the door. They were thirteen years old now, the official age of especially unwanted kids as Kikyo put it. He turned to look around the records room. The records of all the kids in the home. 

         "Dammit Kagura, stay out here and and keep watch." Kagura mimicked on her side of the door. "Whatever. Kikyo, is anyone coming?"

         "No." Kikyo was leaning against a wall where the hall turned playing the Gameboy. "Apparently, Kouga can actually do something."

         "Yeah right. He didn't even want to jump." Kagura rolled her eyes. "We're relying on his acting skills, this is doomed to fail."

         "I know, but really, would _you want to actually break your leg as a diversion?" Kikyo shut off the Gameboy. _

         "He didn't want to be a diversion period. I don't know what Inuyasha wants to do, but he won't even let me in there." Kagura folded her arms. "That's a bunch of crap. I wanted to read files."

         "It's not really that important." Kikyo yawned. "Hey, someone's coming with Kouga."

         "Oh, he totally told on us!" Kagura whirled angrily and opened the door to the filing room. "Inuyasha, code red, Kouga turned us in." 

         "I've got it, let's get the hell out of here!" Inuyasha swiped something from one of the files before shoving the drawer shut and running out of the room. The three ran around the corner to come to a dead end. 

         "Damn." Kagura swore. 

         "Bathroom." Kikyo turned and ran into the room. Kagura followed her but Inuyasha stared at the door in disgust.

         "It's a _girl's bathroom." Inuyasha pointed out. _

         "Come on!" The two girls yelled at him and he ran inside, hoping no one would see him. Kagura and Kikyo were already opening a window. They went out of it and then closed the window before running across the grounds with all the speed they had. They climbed through an open window that led into one of the rooms, but it was empty. They ran up the stairs and quickly into their own room. 

         They collapsed on the floor.

         "Okay, I'm going to kick Kouga's ass." Kagura tried to catch her breath. 

         "Me too." Inuyasha agreed. 

         "-I can't believe you would make something like that up." They heard a woman's voice and hurriedly started doing some innocent looking activity. While Inuyasha and Kagura had clearly grabbed the nearest object in panic, Kikyo had homework out and looked as though she had been working on it for quite some time. 

         "I'm telling the truth!" Kouga defended as the door opened and a young woman led him inside. 

         "Kouga here has just been telling me the most ridiculous story that the three of you snuck into the Records Room." The woman rolled her eyes. 

         "I've been doing my homework for an hour." Kikyo held up a book. 

         "I've been um..." Inuyasha looked at the shirt he was holding. "Trying to clean up."

         "And I've been reading." Kagura held up a book that she was holding upside down. 

         "I don't know why you lied about such a thing, they've clearly been in here this time." The woman tsked. "Really, Kouga, at your age, making up stories." And with that she was gone. The minute they heard her footsteps fade, Kagura threw the book at Kouga. 

         "You told on us?!" Kagura put her hands on her hips.

         "But...I-I, well, well, I was trying to get revenge on you guys." Kouga stuck up his chin. "You guys are always mean to me."

         "I wonder why." Kagura stalked over and kicked him in the shin. He winced. "You're such a loser Kouga."

         "'Cause telling on us _really turned things in your favor." Kikyo closed her math book. "By the way, I left your Gameboy in a girl's bathroom next to the Records Room." _

         "What?!" Kouga whined. "I can't go in there!"

         "Tough shit." Inuyasha threw his shirt at him. "It doesn't matter you guys, I got what I was looking for."

         "What were you looking for?" Kagura tried to peer at the piece of paper curiously. 

         "None of your business." Inuyasha batted her away. "Go knit with Kikyo or something."

         "You're just pissed because we won't knit you a sweater." Kagura spoke matter of factly. Her and Kikyo had both knitted sweaters for each other after Kikyo taught Kagura how to knit. They wore them a lot, which Inuyasha said was lame. 

         Inuyasha looked down at the piece of paper. It was handwritten, but the handwriting was easy enough to understand.

         _Inuyasha's sister, Rin was six at time of adoption. She is living at the following address:_

Inuyasha smiled as he read the address. For three years he had formed plans to find out exactly where Rin was, and now he knew. It wasn't that far from the orphanage. In fact, it was about a half hour from there. Inuyasha could easily walk there.

         _I'm gonna keep my promise Rin. _

_         *                                   *                                   *_

         He was dressed all in black.

         It was a rather clichéd way of breaking into someone's house, but black was the ideal color for doing so. It would be easier to hide in the shadows if need be.

         He was rather glad that there was no dog, an attack dog chasing him through the streets was not something he thought of until he was halfway there, and he wasn't about to turn around. It was Rin's birthday after all. Or, it would be Rin's birthday by the time he arrived. He had tried to think of a good present to bring her, but then he realized he had no idea what she liked now. Was she completely different from what he remembered? 

         But he knew that Rin had no pictures of him. No pictures of them at all. So he had taken one of his two prized pictures of the two of them and written a small message on the back of it. Now she would have a picture too, and even though they were running away together, she would want a picture, he was sure. 

         Inuyasha quietly slipped in through the unlocked back door. No alarm system either, but then, they lived in one of those neighborhoods were people forgot to lock their door all the time. It wasn't like he was planning to steal anything. That would be stupid. He was there to be reunited with his little sister. 

         Now to find her room. He started up the stairs and silently opened every door. A bathroom, a linen closet, and then...

         He opened the door and saw a girl's things. He opened the door more and saw a girl sleeping in the bed. It was Rin. 

         She was older now, her hair was longer and she was definitely bigger. But it was her. She had the same nose and he was sure if he woke her, the same big brown eyes he remembered would be staring at him in the same way they always had. He was about to take a step in. 

         Then a hand grabbed his shoulder and jerked him backwards and he hit the ground. A teenage boy was towering over him. 

         "What the hell-" Inuyasha was cut off as the boy kicked him hard in the side. He grabbed the boy's foot and pushed all his weight into it and the boy fell backwards through Rin's door, throwing it open. The boy quickly got up, but so did Inuyasha, and thus the struggle began.

         Punches were thrown, and Inuyasha only briefly wiped at his bleeding nose as he tried to land a good hit on the older boy. The white-haired boy was at the disadvantage because he was easier to spot with his long pale head of hair. 

         Then the fight was stopped dead in its tracks.

         "What's going on?" Rin sat up in alarm. "Sesshomaru!"

         "Rin, stay right there, there's a burglar." Sesshomaru ordered her as he tried to dodge Inuyasha's punch.

         "I'm not a fucking burglar!" Inuyasha protested angrily. Rin completely ignored what Sesshomaru had said and got up, walking between the two. 

         "Don't hurt Sesshomaru!" Rin pleaded with him and Inuyasha stopped what he was doing. "Please don't hurt him."

         "Rin!" Sesshomaru seemed surprised by her actions. 

         "Rin...i-it's me." Inuyasha choked on his words. Would she remember him? Or had she put it all behind her and never thought about him again?

         She started a little. Then she walked toward him. Sesshomaru tried to stop her, but she shrugged him away, much to the white-haired boy's shock. She peered at him curiously. "Inuyasha?"

         "Yeah. It's me." Inuyasha confirmed. She threw her arms around him and he hugged her. 

         "Inuyasha, I knew...I knew you would come one day." Rin felt tears start to come up. "You didn't forget me."

         "Sesshomaru? Rin? What's going on up there?" Yumi's voice came up the stairs and Rin stiffened. 

         "Inuyasha, you have to get out of here! She'll call the police before I have a chance to say anything." Rin started to herd him out the door. "Hide in the bathroom until she goes back downstairs, then you can get out."

         "But...we're supposed to run away together." Inuyasha spoke slowly in his confusion. "I promised you." 

         "I can't run away with you." Rin shook her head sadly. Sesshomaru put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her toward him. "Because Sesshomaru is also my brother now...he needs me." 

         Inuyasha glared at the white-haired boy with all his might. He had taken away his sister. The one thing he had clung to these three years at the orphanage. He remembered the present and took it out of his pocket, handing it to Rin. 

         "I guess, this is goodbye." Inuyasha tried to fight the emotions welling up in him. Suddenly he hurt so bad he thought he was going to cry. She was supposed to run away with him. They were supposed to be happy. And Rin was happy. Happy where she was. He turned and hid behind the bathroom door. 

         "Goodbye." Rin whispered after him, her heart felt like it was breaking in two. She had to leave her brother twice. She looked down at what he had handed her.

         _Happy Birthday Rin!_

_                  From your brother,_

_                           Inuyasha_

She turned it over. On the other side was a picture of her, having just turned six and in a brand new dress with Inuyasha behind her, his arms draped over her shoulders. They were both smiling. 

         _Inuyasha...those days...they're gone..._

_         I'm sorry. _

_         Smiling at the camera where their mom was trying to take the picture and their father was making silly faces at them. _

_         You wanted to be there for me again._

_         And I couldn't be there for you._

_         Inuyasha, for my birthday wish, I'm going to wish that you'll be happy._

_         Smiling because they were innocent and didn't think things like growing up or death even existed in the world. _

_         Smiling, because they were happy._

Rin tried not to get tears all over her birthday present. Sesshomaru hugged her while she cried. 

         *                                   *                                   *

         "So...we were thinking about adoption." Higurashi Noduko spoke to her thirteen-year-old daughter. 

         "What?!" Kagome stood up in indignation. "Adoption?!" She was outraged. How could they even consider such a thing? What kind of parents were they?

         "Kagome, listen to what your mother and I have to say." Yasumu took a deep breath. He knew perfectly well where Kagome got her temper. 

         "Souta's dead and you want to adopt another kid?" Kagome slammed her hands down on the table. 

         "He's been dead for a year!" Noduko countered in anger and then closed her eyes in pain. She hated thinking about it sometimes. It hurt so much, even after a year. Sometimes she would cry herself to sleep thinking about Souta. Hit by a car one afternoon while chasing after their cat. "And-"

         "What, you want a replacement?" Kagome asked bitterly.

         "Kagome!" Yasumu and Noduko both looked shocked. 

         "How could you say such a thing? We loved Souta, we still do!" Yasumu countered. "We want to adopt another child because when Souta died, I thought about how there were many kids in the world that nobody would even notice if they died."

         "I don't care, you can't understand because you don't care!" Kagome stormed out of the room. Noduko started to go after her, but her husband put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her. 

         "She doesn't want to hear it. She's not going to listen." Yasumu shook his head. "We can't make her either." 

         "I still want to adopt a child, is that selfish?" Noduko asked. 

         "No, it's not. I guess this only leaves us with one option." Yasumu sighed. 

         Meanwhile, Kagome had her face buried into her pillow. How could they even _suggest _it? Well, they wouldn't dare adopt a child now. Not after Kagome had put them in their place. 

         _It's alright Souta. They can't replace you._

_         I know they can't._

_         *                                   *                                   *_

         Noduko and Yasumu shielded their eyes from the sun as they walked up the front steps of The Takahashi Home For Children. It was a bright sunny day and they had dropped Kagome off for school before heading over there. It had been a forty-five minute drive that had seemed to last forever. 

         Was it wrong to lie to Kagome? Was it lying if they didn't bring up the subject in front of their daughter? It was a moral dilemma that made the two of them uneasy, but they knew that perhaps, if their daughter just met the person, she would accept them. 

         "Hello, you must be the Higurashis." A woman greeted them.

         "Yeah, that's us." Yasumu shook her hand. 

         "Shall we go meet the children?" The woman was already leading them inside. They watched little kids run by and Noduko smiled at how young and happy some of them seemed. 

         But wouldn't that really be replacing their dead son to get another little boy or girl? 

         "Are there any teenagers? We have a thirteen-year-old daughter, and we'd like to adopt somebody the same age." Noduko asked, Yasumu turned around and looked at her with surprise. Then he stared at her for a moment longer before realizing what she was doing.

         "Of course." The woman nodded as though this was a logical request. "Actually, we have four thirteen year olds. They always go on about how they won't get adopted now." The woman rolled her eyes. "They'll be in their rooms."

         She led them up a staircase and down the hall a little ways where she knocked on a door.

         "Come in!" Voices chorused from inside and the three of them entered. All four teenagers were in the room. One was reading on a top bunk, his black-framed glasses sliding down his nose as he looked up. There was an exuberant looking young lady with red eyes who was doing homework with another girl who had brown eyes and a pale face. And then, another young man who was laying sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall and just staring at the wall opposite of him. 

         "Heeeey, it's parents!" The red-eyed girl elbowed the brown-eyed girl. "Do you think they wandered into the wrong room?"

         "It's possible." The brown-eyed girl shrugged. 

         "Hey, Inuyasha, there's parents in here." The blue-eyed boy said, staring at Yasumu and Noduko as though he had never seen people like them before.

         "Feh!" The boy sitting on his bed looked to the side with his chin propped up on his hand. 

         "Okay you four, stop being silly." The woman folded her arms. "These are the Higurashis." 

         "Konnichiwa Higurashi-san!" The red-eyed girl sprang up, forgetting her homework, much to the irritation of the brown-eyed girl. 

         "These four are Kagura, Kikyo, Kouga, and Inuyasha." The woman pointed to them each respectively. 

         "Hello." Noduko tried tentatively. 

         "Kagura sit down." Kikyo rolled her eyes. 

         "Sorry, sorry." Kagura sat down and gathered up her math book. 

         "Inuyasha, are you going to hide under there?" The woman asked.

         "He's been like that for a week." Kagura informed her. "I have no clue why."

         Noduko leaned over to catch a glimpse of the young man's face. It was angry and looked ready to snap. His violet eyes were staring at the wall as though they were looking for some sort of answer. His long black hair went down to his waist. 

         "Hello." Noduko greeted him. 

         "What do you want, lady?" Inuyasha snapped. "You aren't going to adopt any of us, you're going to adopt some cute little kid." 

         "Inuyasha!" The woman reprimanded. 

         "Well, he does have a point." Kagura nodded her head in a knowledgeable fashion. "We _are thirteen."_

         "I don't want to be adopted anyways." Kikyo declared. "Kagura and I are going to move away together when we turn eighteen." 

         "You two are so stupid." Inuyasha told them.

         "You're stupid." Kagura shot back. 

         "Inuyasha's right." Kouga tried to join a side.

         "Shut up Kouga!" Kagura and Inuyasha snapped at the blue-eyed boy, who just sent an odd look at Kagura.  

         "It was nice meeting the four of you." Yasumu broke into the fighting and four heads turned towards him. 

         "I'm sure we'll see you around." Noduko smiled at them before turning and following her husband and the woman out the door. 

         They went into the office and the woman sat facing them. Noduko and Yasumu had a small conference while the woman pretended not to hear.

         "How about one of those girls? Kagome might like a sister." Yasumu suggested. 

         "No, those two seemed very close, if we separated them, they would be miserable." Noduko ruled out that suggestion. "What about..." She tried to think. A pair of violet eyes filled her vision, searching for an answer, searching for something that he couldn't seem to find. What was it…"What about that Inuyasha boy?"

         "He seemed a bit..." Yasumu hesitated. 

         "He's angry at the whole world and really, when you think about it, I'm sure he has his reasons. But I feel that if we leave him here, he won't get better." Noduko explained her feelings. 

         "You know, he kind of reminds me of me at that age." Yasumu half-smiled. "I hated everyone and everything but I rose up out of that. If I hadn't...well, I would have probably been in jail." 

         "So..." Noduko trailed off. "Do you want to adopt him?" 

         "Yeah, I think so." Yasumu nodded. "Maybe Kagome and him can help each other." 

         "We'd like to adopt Inuyasha." Noduko announced.

         *                                   *                                   * 

         Keeping the whole thing under wraps was far harder than they originally expected. Long ago they had moved Souta's things to the attic, and now they had to make the barren room look like a bedroom without attracting Kagome's notice. They set up most of it while she was at school and since Kagome barely ever went into Souta's room, it was a safe bet.

         Then, of course, Noduko was barely able to contain her excitement. Surely, Kagome would be able to tell something was up. But she didn't. 

         So when Yasumu saw Kagome wave good-bye to her friends and turn to run up the front steps he was suddenly gripped with a nervous anticipation. 

         Inuyasha was sitting on the couch in front of a plate of cookies and a soda, looking around the place speculatively as though he was just watching the scene and not actually there. He seemed nervous too, from his odd, clumsy movements. He had been just as astounded as everyone else that he was being adopted. Kagura had congratulated him and Kikyo wished him luck (an odd occurrence), and Kouga had sulkily said good-bye. Why was Kouga so sulky all of a sudden? Did Kagura finally go too far that last time? 

         "I'm home!" Kagome announced as she ran through the door. 

         "We're in the living room." Noduko called out. She then swallowed and straightened a little. Inuyasha didn't know what to do. 

         "Hey-" Kagome came in but stopped when she saw Inuyasha. She looked at him curiously for a few moments before continuing on. "Who's he?"

         "Well, we have an announcement to make." Noduko looked at her husband for support and he put a hand on her shoulder, instantly making her feel better. "We've adopted a kid." 

         "You adopted a kid?" Kagome's face tightened with anger. She glanced at Inuyasha again. 

         "Your mother and I-" Yasumu was cut off.

         "That's just fine!" Kagome yelled. Then she turned to Inuyasha. "I want you to know one thing. You aren't my brother, so don't ever even think that you can call yourself that." And she turned, rushing from the room because she couldn't stand the idea of what they had done. 

         "She...well, she's just angry right now, but you'll see. Kagome can't hold a grudge very well." Noduko tried to make the best of things. 

         "Not fucking likely." Inuyasha murmured as he thought about the dark-haired girl's reaction. 

         *                                   *                                   * 

         It turned out that Inuyasha was right. The two seemed to hate each other, arguing, making snide remarks at each other whenever possible, it didn't seem like the two would ever be able to know each other and not be at each other's throats.

         But then senior year happened. It began on the first day of school, which didn't go well for Inuyasha at first.

         Kagome took the last bagel.

         "Fucking pig." Inuyasha growled as he watched her spread cream cheese over her bagel. Kagome gave him a sweet and exaggeratedly innocent look. 

         "Oh gee, Inuyasha, did _you want a bagel?" Kagome took a bite of it. _

         "Bitch." Inuyasha stole the other half of her bagel.

         "That's mine!" Kagome protested. 

         "Cry me a fucking river." Inuyasha walked out of the kitchen with it to go get his stuff. When he came back, he found out that his bad morning was being added on to.

         Kagome had taken their car.

         The parents had decided that if they bought one car, the two could share it, perhaps even getting the two to compromise with each other. How wrong they were. Instead, they used guerilla-ninja warfare tactics to drive it. Inuyasha would be forced to walk to school. 

         When he got there, first he glared at Kagome and tried to think of a good way of stealing the car keys from her. They did have first period together, and if he was sneaky enough, he could get away with it. So busy doing this was he that he bumped into a girl.

         "Oh, sorry!" He looked at her and realized that he had run into Rin. 

         "Rin?" Inuyasha blinked in surprise. Rin looked up and her mouth opened. 

         "Inuyasha!" Rin clapped her hands together and then hugged him. "Omigod! What are you doing here?!" 

         "Rin, who is this?" A male voice asked suspiciously. 

         "Sesshomaru, it's Inuyasha!" Rin pulled away from him. Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitched very slightly. "Oh it's so good to see you again! Do you go to school here, were you adopted?"

"Uh, yeah." Inuyasha tried to keep up with his hyper sister. 

         "I need your phone number so we can get together." Rin pulled on Sesshomaru's sleeve. "Sesshomaru, can you put his number in your cell phone? Please, please, please?" She made her eyes as big as they could go. Sesshomaru got out his cell phone. 

         "What is it?" Sesshomaru grumbled. Inuyasha gave her the number and Sesshomaru punched it in. 

         "This is so great, I was scared because it was my first day of high school, but now I'm not." Rin grinned. "Sesshomaru, shouldn't you be going to class?"                

         "It can wait." Sesshomaru brushed off the subject. "I'll wait till your school starts." 

         "Sesshomaru, you promised me that you'd stop being late for classes." Rin folded her arms. "Remember?"

         "I don't want to leave yet." Sesshomaru looked irritated. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

         "Oh Sesshomaru!" Rin threw her arms around the white-haired young man. "I'll be fine! You worry too much. No wonder you have white hair!" Inuyasha snickered until Sesshomaru glared at him and kept his arms possessively around Rin. 

         _Great, that guy is a fucking psycho. _

_         And why is he hugging her like that? He's way older than her. Fucking pedophile, he better not try anything with Rin or I'll kill him. _

The bell rang and Rin hugged Sesshomaru and Inuyasha one last time before running off. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha sent each other murderous looks before Inuyasha went inside. The way that guy was acting, he wouldn't be surprised if he was there when Rin got out of school. 

         Inuyasha slept through first period, like anything really happens on the first day of school anyway. He woke up long enough to steal the keys from Kagome's bag without Kagome noticing. 

         So he left first period, swinging the keys on his index finger, paying far more attention to his triumph than to where he was walking. And so he was nearly knocked over.

         "Pay some fucking attention." He snapped at the person. 

         "No way, no way!" A female voice sounded astonished. He looked over at the person, expecting a random airhead. 

         Instead, it was Kagura. 

         What the hell was Kagura doing at _his high school? He looked at her and saw that she had changed a lot in the years he hadn't seen her, unless of course he simply never noticed how long her legs were before. This was only accentuated by her short skirt. And her shirt was also doing some accentuating, not that Inuyasha thought those needed it. _

         "Kagura?" He guessed, even though he knew. The only person who could be perky this damn early in the day. 

         "It is you!" Kagura exclaimed. "How bizarre is that? We moved over the summer and we're going to the same high school as you!" 

         "Uh, so you were adopted?" Inuyasha guessed.

         "No, I randomly go to high schools. Of course I was adopted." Kagura rolled her eyes. "You didn't get any smarter." 

         "Shut up." He grumbled.

         "You didn't bother to keep in touch either. Well, neither did Kouga but then, who cares?" Kagura asked. 

         "Let me guess, you and Kikyo call each other every day? You guys would." Inuyasha snorted derisively. 

         "We don't need to." Kagura informed him. "Remember why Kikyo never wanted to be adopted?"

         "'Cause you two were joined at the fucking hip?" Inuyasha hazarded a guess.

         "Yeah, well, we got adopted by the same parents." Kagura told him smugly. "How's that for luck? Oh there she is! Kikyo!" Kagura began waving and Inuyasha wondered just how long Kagura planned to stall him on his way to his next class. 

         Kikyo approached, just as pale and expressionless as ever. She raised her eyebrows at him for a few moments as if trying to decide who he was. She was a lot more modestly dressed than Kagura. She was wearing a black turtleneck and a pair of black pants. 

         "Inuyasha." Kikyo finally decided. 

         "Hey Kikyo." Inuyasha greeted her. 

         "Class is about to start." Kikyo announced.

         "It's the first day of school, they don't care if you're late. We can just say we got lost." Kagura rolled her arms. "We have to get together and catch up on things." 

         "Swell." Inuyasha said in a voice that suggested the opposite.

         "I'll say." Kikyo agreed dryly. "Here's us catching up, you're alive, we're alive." 

         "You guys are no fun." Kagura pouted. "Oh well, let's go to class." 

         "Whatever." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. He swore if he met Kouga too, he would just go home. Hadn't he left all these people behind? And didn't he have enough problems having to live with Kagome, whose only goal in life was to make sure his was unhappy? 

         Life was unfair. Something he already had known all too well. On the bright side of things, he was glad to see Rin again, sure it could never be like it was, but that didn't mean he was going to shun her. Plus, he had to protect her from Sesshomaru. That guy had a weird-ass adopted sister complex. 

         *                                   *                                   *

         "Hey, Inuyasha!" Rin ran up to him after school. "Do you need a ride? Sesshomaru will probably give you one if I ask."

         "No, I've got a car." Inuyasha thought back to the triumph for the day. "Thanks anyways."

         "Rin, let's go." Sesshomaru was standing there rather impatiently. 

         "It's not like we have to be anywhere." Rin shrugged. "How was your day? What subjects do you take?"

         "Actually..." Inuyasha thought about his classes. Did he really want to tell Rin that her older brother was taking remedial math which if he didn't pass, he wasn't graduating? "Just the regular stuff, math, english, that sort of stuff." 

         "I'm taking drama." Rin told him. "And Art 1." 

         "Hey, I'm in art classes too." Inuyasha smiled at the coincidence. "Must run in the family."

         "Indeed." Sesshomaru didn't look pleased. 

         "Nobody asked you." Inuyasha glared. 

         "Hey Inuyasha!" Kagura ran up to him, Kikyo was behind, walking at a normal pace. "Do you need a ride?" 

         "Nope." Inuyasha brandished his keys triumphantly. 

         "I guess I'm going to go home now." Rin started to walk away with Sesshomaru. "I'll see you later, Inuyasha."

         "Oh, who was that?" Kagura asked, her eyes gleaming. "That man sure was pretty." Kikyo snorted. "Kikyo, don't be jealous."

         "I'm not." Kikyo flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I'm going home now." 

         "She's jealous." Kagura told Inuyasha as the three of them started to walk toward the parking lot. 

         "Wait..." Inuyasha stopped to think about this. "Are you guys like..." 

         "It's none of your business." Kikyo's voice was completely icy. 

         "Never mind then." Inuyasha decided that he didn't want to die, which is what Kikyo's expression suggested would happen to him if he continued with that line of questioning. "So where's your guys' car?"

         "Cars." Kagura corrected immediately. "We have two separate ones."

         "Whoa. Is your family well off?" Inuyasha inquired. 

         "Completely and utterly loaded." Kagura announced. "You should have seen us trying to pick out our cars. Mom had to convince us to buy two because Kikyo and me were just going to share one."

         "I don't think Inuyasha is interested in a shopping story." Kikyo supplied.  

         "At first I wanted a convertible but then I saw it." Kagura went on. "It was without a doubt the coolest car I'd ever seen."  

         "Um...a Jaguar?" Inuyasha guessed, trying to think of a cool car. 

         "Nope. Two words." Kagura reached into her purse and pulled out a set of keys. "Mini-cooper."  

         "Mini...cooper?" Inuyasha raised his eyebrows and then looked to where Kagura pointed. Two small cars parked side by side. One was black with white strips and the other was a cherry red with white stripes. "They look like circus clown cars." 

         "Whatever." Kagura looked a little miffed. "Where's your P.O.S.?"  

         "Over there..." Inuyasha pointed a little ways down towards the blue secondhand car. Kagome was standing by it, tapping her feet impatiently with her hands on her hips. "Oh shit." 

         "What?" Kagura looked over towards Kagome. "Is that Kagome? I have her in my math class! She's really nice."  

         "She's a freaking bitch." Inuyasha told them. "She thinks she's fucking queen of the whole goddamn world." 

         "A friend of yours?" Kikyo asked snidely. Kagura snickered. 

         "She's...well, I guess you could say a sister even though I don't really like to think of it like that. I usually call her that bitch that lives in my house and takes all the hot water in the mornings." Inuyasha explained. "My parents are cool though."  

         "Well, we'll see you tomorrow." Kagura shrugged.  

         "Yeah, bye." Inuyasha parted ways from the two girls and walked over to his car. Kagome waited until he was a foot from her before letting him have it. 

         "You stole the car keys from me, you prick!" Kagome accused.  

         "You're the one who stole the car." Inuyasha reminded her. "Whine to somebody else."  

         "It's my car." Kagome stomped over to the passenger door. "Who were those girls?" 

         "None of your fucking business." Inuyasha muttered. 

         "Come on." Kagome would order him around when he had the car keys and could so easily just not unlock her door and drive home. But then she would complain to the parents. Inuyasha unlocked his door and then hers.  

         They drove home having an argument over the radio the whole time. (Kagome turned it away from one of Inuyasha's favorite songs.) Then they got home, fought over the last soda in the fridge before stomping off toward their separate rooms and slamming their doors.  

         As Inuyasha drank his soda, he was glad the day was almost over. 

         At least it couldn't get anymore complicated. 

         *                                   *                                   * 

         He wasn't too happy about moving, but his mom and dad got transferred to a different location. He liked all his friends, and he was even thinking about asking a certain girl on a date. But now they had moved.

         He liked the new house, it was bigger than their old one, and his parents were getting raises, so they had agreed to buy him a car. He was optimistic, and thought about how the school _did_ have good sports teams; they had beaten his old school last year during the soccer season. Maybe he could try out for their team, he wasn't half bad. Maybe there'd be lots of cute girls at the school as well. 

         Then his mother had sent him with some money down to the local corner store so he could get himself a soda, since he had been moving heavy boxes all day. But as he was approaching, he saw something. Something he thought he would never see again. 

         He saw her. 

         He stopped dead in his tracks and then immediately hid behind the corner of the store. She was coming out with her constant companion, sodas in hand as they made their way to their cars. Her eyes twinkling as they joked about something. 

         _She looks happy._

_         She always looks happy. _

_         And I hate her._

_         I hate her because she can walk away from all that and be happy. _

_         And she can forget me._

_         But I remember her. _

_         "I'll get you back one day!"_

_         And what did she do? She laughed. She laughed at me. It was raining and she was laughing under her umbrella while it rained on me, I was soaked and I got in trouble for dripping water all through the front hallway. _

_         "I can't believe you fell for it!"_

_         "What a loser!" _

_         I hate you. _

_         Things are different now. I know they are. _

He smiled at her a little. She couldn't see him and what he was already planning. She was laughing because she thought that everything was behind her. What a painful reminder she was going to have. 

         He'd get them all back. One day. But he'd start with her and her friend. They were still together like they had always been. That would end when he was through with them. 

         Truthfully, he had plotted this revenge ever since that day. That day he had been left in the rain. And now it was coming to fruition. 

         "I'll show you." He whispered as he watched her. How perfectly everything was falling into place.

         Suddenly, moving seemed to be a very good thing.

*                                   *                                   *

         "Tea?" Kagura asked as she came in with a huge platter that had tea and cookies on it. Kikyo set her book down. 

         "Okay." Kikyo waited until Kagura set it down and they started to take the things off the tray. "I was actually just thinking about tea."

         "Hey, great minds think alike." Kagura grinned. "When are mom and dad supposed to get back?"

         "Two weeks from now, and then three days after that, they have to go to London for a month." Kikyo answered. 

         "Remember when they took us to London for the summer?" Kagura smiled at the memory. "And the two of us decided to go sneak off to a night club? With fake ID's?"

         "And then we got lost and had to call them?" Kikyo added on. "They were so mad at us." 

         "Yeah and then dad said, 'Remember when we got lost in Central Park and our parents called the cops?' And mom started laughing, so we didn't get into trouble." Kagura blew on her tea before drinking it. 

         "That's right up there with the time we broke into the wine cellar and tried to get away with it." Kikyo shook her head. "It would have worked if that bottle hadn't rolled out from under your bed because of all the stuff crammed under it."

         "'Cause they couldn't tell from the way you tried to high five dad." Kagura reminded her. 

         "I was a lot more convincing than you. You were hanging all over me." Kikyo protested. 

         "I do that when I'm awake too." Kagura patted her hand across the table. Their fingers entwined. "I was totally convincing."

         "Keep telling yourself that." Kikyo smiled faintly. They finished off the tea and then started to get ready for bed. The two bedrooms were connected by a large living room with a fireplace so there was frequent traffic through there. 

         Kikyo came into Kagura's room with her long hair braided, wearing her white nightgown. Kagura was just getting under the covers. 

         "Come on." Kagura patted the bed next to her. Kikyo walked in and got under the covers as well. "I think it's funny, you always wait to be invited in."

         "One day you might not." Kikyo replied as they curled up together after Kagura turned off the light. 

         "Kikyo, what do you always tell me?" Kagura asked her. "That we're sisters first and everything else second? My sister can come and sleep in my bed."

         "But can your sister do this?" Kikyo kissed her gently on the lips. "I'd miss that." 

         "You act like I'm going to leave you." Kagura moved her head to look her in the eyes. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." 

         "I just had a bad feeling." Kikyo studied her face before reaching up and caressing Kagura's cheek with one hand. "Just a bad feeling." 

         "I love you Kikyo." Kagura kissed her, a bit more heatedly than Kikyo had kissed her. "So bad feelings don't mean a thing."

         "Agreed."

*                                            *                                            *

         Kagura was looking for Kikyo in the crowd of students so she could get her homework from Kikyo's bag. 

         _Where is she?_

She thought she saw Kikyo and began running straight for her, which wasn't a good idea in the crowded hallways. She learned this the hard way when she ran into a rather solid object and was sent flying backwards, landing rather ungracefully on her butt.

         "Excuse me." Kagura grabbed her purse, which had slipped out of her hand on impact. Then she looked up to see a hand offering to help her up and a pair of beautiful blue eyes beyond that. She took the hand and straightened.

         "Careful." Kagura saw the face and it struck her that she _knew _this person from somewhere. But surely she couldn't forget someone like this.

         _He's hot._

_         Bad Kagura, bad._

"Sorry about that." Kagura put on a charming smile despite herself. "I was distracted."

         "It's okay." He smiled back, a slow sexy smile. "My name's Kouga."

         "Kouga?" Kagura looked at him in bewilderment and she realized how much he looked like the Kouga she had grown up with. But in the four years since she'd last seen him, he seemed to have blossomed. His body was nicely toned, not super muscular, but still rather nice. He wasn't wearing those horrid thick glasses, his hair was shiny and soft looking, and his eyes really shined as a spectacular blue. "No way!"

         "Hmm?" Kouga now looked confused.

         "It's me! Kagura!" Kagura rolled her eyes as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "How weird! All four of us at the same high school!"

         "Kagura?" Kouga looked genuinely surprised. "It _is _you." His eyes went from her long legs, up past her round hips, her full bust, and then her eyes. "You're...beautiful."

         "Wha-what?" Kagura's eyes bugged out and she blushed. Oh gods, why was she blushing?

         "I've been waiting to meet you again for a long time." Kouga gave her another melting smile before walking away. "See you around." 

         "Yeah." Kagura nodded almost in a daze after him. 

         _That was a bit...weird. _

_         I can't believe that guy was actually Kouga...Kouga was different. Always so...sulky and annoying. That guy was different._

_         He was...well, cool._

_         I wonder what Kikyo will say._

*                                   *                                   *

         "Fucking peanut butter." Inuyasha grumbled as he chewed his bite of sandwich. "She took the last of the lunch meat. Totally fucking smug about it too."

         "I'm sure it was malicious." Kagura opened her coke. "Why don't you just go off campus for lunch if you don't like what you have? Or pack something else?"

         "I don't have any money." Inuyasha kicked a piece of trash by him. "I don't have a wallet full of fucking credit cards."

         "Get a job then." Kagura flicked a French fry at him. 

         "Kagura, coming from someone who probably won't have to work a day of their life," Kikyo began. "That isn't all that convincing." 

         "Whatever." Kagura rolled her eyes. "I was just being logical."

         "For once." Kikyo quipped. 

         "Hey Kagura." A male voice made three heads turn and look up. Kouga was standing there with his lunch. "Hey, is this Kikyo and Inuyasha?" 

         "Um, do we know you?" Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow.              

         "It's me, Kouga." He smiled at them. "I didn't realize we all went to high school together. I ran into Kagura earlier. Can I eat with you guys?"

         "No." Inuyasha answered gruffly. 

         "I don't care." Kagura shrugged. Inuyasha blinked in surprise. Since when was Kagura chummy with Kouga? Kikyo looked a bit weirded out by it as well, almost grimacing at Kouga's presence.    

         "Great." Kouga sat down next to her. Inuyasha noticed that he didn't have his glasses and it made his face look a lot different. He looked different all around, like he had finally had a growth spurt. "Kikyo, you must feel pretty lucky, you and Kagura were so close, it's cool you two are at the same high school."

         "We live together." Kikyo told him coldly. 

         "Oh?" Kouga's eyes widened. "That's really lucky." Inuyasha took another bite of his sandwich.

         "Just wait till she finds out I stole the keys again." Inuyasha muttered around his sandwich.

         "You two are so petty!" Kagura declared. "I mean, why are you two always at each other's throats?" 

         "'Cause she's a bitch." Inuyasha said it as though it was a valid point and cleared up the whole thing. 

         "Who's he talking about?" Kouga inquired.

         "His adopted sister." Kagura explained. Inuyasha sent her a look. "I mean, 'that bitch that lives in his house and takes all the hot water in the mornings.' My mistake. Her name's Kagome, she's really nice. Those two just bring out the absolute worst in each other." 

         "That sucks, man." Kouga laughed. "I don't have any siblings, you guys are lucky." 

         "You can have mine." Inuyasha offered. "She's constantly fucking PMSing."

         "So, what's your next class?" Kouga turned towards Kagura. 

         "Er, art." Kagura answered after a moment. "What about you?"

         "English." Kouga pointed toward her soda. "Do you think I could have a drink of that? I forgot my wallet and I need a little bit of caffeine." 

         "Okay." Kagura handed him the soda, he took a few gulps and handed it back to her. The bell rang and Inuyasha started to follow Kagura and Kouga, but Kikyo grabbed his shirt, causing him to stay.

         "What the fuck?" Inuyasha turned around and looked at the pale girl. "What?"

         "Don't you think that was weird?" Kikyo asked him. "Kouga was awfully nice to Kagura."

         "Yeah, well it wasn't like she was blowing him off." Inuyasha commented. "That's weird though. I mean, she wouldn't have given him the time of day at the orphanage."

         "Hmm..." Kikyo's eyes narrowed a little. "Come on, let's go to class." The two walked off toward class.

*                                   *                                   *

         Kagome desperately needed a ride. She had tripped and gotten her papers everywhere in her rush to get to the car before Inuyasha drove off without her. So of course, by the time she got there, the car was gone, and she really didn't feel like walking. 

         "Inuyasha, you asshole." She growled as she looked around for one of her friends. She swore she was going to kill him when she got a hold of him. 

         _Of course I say I'm going to kill him like three hundred times a day. _

_         I wish I didn't have to live with him._

_         What were my parents thinking when they adopted him? Oh that's right, they weren't. They weren't thinking about me, and they were especially not thinking of Souta._

Kagome kicked a rock on the ground. Great, none of her friends were there. Perfect. She turned on her heel and started to stalk off before she saw him. 

         He was saying good-bye to some guy and then he looked up and saw her. His eyes were an incredible shade of blue, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He had one hand on a car door. 

         "Hey." He smiled confidently at her. 

         "Hey." Kagome smiled back shyly. 

         _He's so cute. This could be my lucky day._

She tried to look a little less like a dork and flipped some of her hair over her shoulder in an elegant manner. 

         "What's your name?" He asked her. 

         "Kagome." Kagome walked a little closer and offered her hand. "Higurashi Kagome."

         "Kagome..." He said the name as if trying it out. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Inuyasha, would you?"

         "Unfortunately." Kagome couldn't believe her bad luck. He was one of Inuyasha's friends? That could only mean he had heard how bitchy she was three thousand times a day. But instead he laughed good-naturedly. Then he shook her hand.

         "I'm Ookami Kouga." He told her with a slight smile. "Nice to meet you, I'm new here." 

         "Oh really?" Kagome felt her hopes going back up. He probably only briefly heard from Inuyasha about her and she could easily dispel that. 

         "You wouldn't happen to know where a coffee place is, would you?" Kouga looked at her hopefully. "I really feel like a mocha." 

         "I know a couple of good places." Kagome supplied. "Much better than ending up at a Starbucks, anyway."

         "Hey, I said I wanted coffee not a cup of warm milk." Kouga joked. 

         "I know what you mean. I don't think they understand the concept of putting coffee in their coffee drinks." Kagome giggled. 

         "But mochas suck when you're by yourself." Kouga gave her a charming smile. "Do you want to get one with me? I'll give you a ride home too." 

         "Sure!" Kagome agreed. Coffee with a cute guy _and _she didn't have to walk home. It was only right, after Inuyasha being so horrible to her. 

         She got in to his car and Kouga and her began to talk as they drove to the coffee shop.

*                                   *                                   *

         "Homo called." Inuyasha didn't look up from the TV as Kagome walked by, glowing from getting coffee with Kouga. He was so nice and smart and funny! Just the opposite of Inuyasha, who was watching something on TV while eating the last of the barbecue potato chips and drinking soda. 

         "His name is _not homo, it's Hojou." Kagome put her hands on her hips. _

         "Hobo, whatever." Inuyasha blew her off. 

         "What did he want?" Kagome inquired.

         "How the fuck should I know?" Inuyasha asked. "Probably wanted to whack off while he talked to you on the phone. Closest thing he'll ever get to oral." Kagome hit him over the head with a pillow, causing soda to spill all over him. He jumped up off the couch. 

         "Dammit Kagome!" He swore. "What the fuck was that for?" 

         "Stop making fun of him! He's a lot better than _you_. The closest thing you'll get to oral is that presentation in first period." Kagome fired at him smugly. 

         "Feh! Like you're some fucking prize, you ugly bitch?" Inuyasha asked her. "When's the last time you've been on a date? Never?" 

         "Like ten minutes ago!" Kagome countered. Inuyasha was taken aback. "That's right. I went and had coffee 'cause you ran off with the car." 

         "With who?" Inuyasha demanded.

         "None of your business." Kagome replied with a superior expression. 

         "You're making it up." Inuyasha sat back down on the couch, looking bored. 

         "I am not! I went with Kouga, if you're so damn curious." Kagome kicked the back of the couch, which of course didn't really do anything. 

         "Kouga?!" Inuyasha sat up and turned towards Kagome. "What the fuck?!"

         "What's it to you?" Kagome asked before grabbing the cordless phone. "Now stay out of my private life and next time don't make fun of my friends." She stomped out of the room. Inuyasha sat on the couch, slightly stunned by this turn of events.

         _What the hell? Kouga?! The same guy that Kagura used to beat up constantly? _

_         That's just fucking weird._

Inuyasha decided his best course of action was to sit on the couch and watch TV, waiting to see if the problem would solve itself.

*                                            *                                            *

         "So then I said, 'Um, sir, that's not a piece of candy.' His face went bright red." Kouga finished his story and Kagura laughed heartily at it. Kikyo made some noise that Inuyasha didn't quite understand, but it sounded like she didn't find the story _that funny. Inuyasha felt an overwhelming urge to punch Kouga. _

         "That's _so_ funny." Kagura took a deep breath. "Remember yesterday when we got yelled at in the mall?" 

         "I know, all we were doing was going up the down escalator and vice versa." Kouga agreed that this was a great injustice. Kikyo checked her watch.

         "Class is going to start soon." Kikyo spoke up. 

         "And then you asked the guy six times in a row to repeat all the smoothie flavors?" Kagura giggled, not having heard the brown-eyed girl. 

         "I just wanted to see if he could do it." Kouga defended while laughing. "I thought it might have been a fluke the first five times." 

         "How utterly _fascinating." Kikyo interrupted the two dryly. "Come on Kagura, we have class soon." Kagura looked over at Kouga and they both started laughing. Inuyasha had no idea what to do so he just stood there. _

         "I'll see you later." Kagura winked at Kouga before walking off with Kikyo. Kouga was about to walk off as well, but Inuyasha stopped him.

         "What the fuck is the deal with you and Kagome?" Inuyasha asked dangerously. He had been bottling this up for a while, what with Kouga calling Kagome _every_ day. He was so damn uppity now, always hanging around, and Kikyo _obviously didn't like him for one reason or another. _

         "What are you talking about?" Kouga asked him innocently.

         "I mean stop fucking calling all the time, it's damn annoying." Inuyasha didn't bother explaining before starting to walk off.

         "Inuyasha," Kouga's voice made him pause. "What are you going to do? You can't even stand up for yourself." Inuyasha whirled around and for a moment caught a glimpse of small, secretive gleam in Kouga's eyes that made him seem like he was plotting something. 

         "What the hell?" Inuyasha asked himself as Kouga walked away. 

         _"You can't even stand up to Kagura."_

He shook his head, wondering what was going on. Every since Kouga had arrived two weeks ago, things had been getting weirder and weirder at home and at school. There was some sort of weird tension whenever Kouga came around or was brought up in conversation. 

         And why had he said that? 

         It was like he was reminding Inuyasha of the time at the orphanage deliberately. But why? Inuyasha decided to get to class before he was late and had to do another detention.

*                                   *                                   *

         Kikyo came into the large living room where Kagura was prancing around the room, eating out of a half-gallon of cookie dough ice-cream, singing. 

         "In touch with the ground, I'm on the hunt I'm after you. Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd, and I'm hungry like the wolf," Kagura didn't seem to sense the other girl's presence. "Straddle the line in discord and rhyme, I'm on the hunt I'm after you! Mouth is alive, with juices like wine, and I'm hungry like the woooooolf!"

         "I thought you were going to start on your homework?" Kikyo raised her eyebrows, and Kagura stopped dancing around the room almost sheepishly. 

         "Well I _was..." Kagura trailed off._

         "But?" Kikyo continued for her.

         "But Kouga called and asked if I'd go see this movie with him that he's been dying to see, but he doesn't wanna go by himself." Kagura explained. "Do you wanna come?"

         "Kagura, I know that it's senior year, but you've got to keep your grades up." Kikyo lectured. "You're behind on your homework, and I don't want you failing because I know you want to go to college."

         "I know, I swear I'll come straight home right after and do all my homework." Kagura put a hand over her heart. "But you know, I'm not exactly Smith-bound like you." 

         "You could be." Kikyo's eyes were downcast. 

         "Ooooh, Kikyo, you know even if we don't end up at the same college we'll be okay! Besides, college is like what, four years? We'll have the rest of our lives!" Kagura hugged her. "We'll travel and go club hopping and shopping and we'll buy a huge house and we'll set aside one room just as a library like the one here and we'll have a twenty-four hour chef-"

         "A necessity." Kikyo began to smile. 

         "Duh, and we'll never do anything we don't want to-" 

         "Except pay taxes."

         "Gah, why do you always have to shoot everything down?" Kagura looked tragic. 

         "I'm not shooting it down, I'm just being realistic." Kikyo played with a lock of her dark hair. "So you'll be back soon?"

         "Of course." Kagura promised. "Right after the movie." 

*                                   *                                   *

         "Omigod, it's one in the morning." Kagura looked at her watch. "Kikyo's gonna be pissed."

         "I don't know why she's so uptight, I mean it's senior year." Kouga rolled his eyes. "What is she, your mom?"

         "Well no, but if she didn't do it, no one would." Kagura defended. "Plus, I do have a bunch of homework."

         "Sorry I took you away from it. I really thought it was just gonna be a movie. But then I was hungry." Kouga began to tick off the items. "Then ice-cream. Then coffee. It just got late. I'm sure Kikyo will understand."

         "I'm not mad at you or anything." Kagura assured him. "I should've paid attention to the time too."

         "No, go ahead and use me as your scapegoat." Kouga's eyes were twinkling. "I don't mind."

         "Yeah, whatever, let's just hightail it home." Kagura ordered. 

         Upon arrival, Kagura told him goodnight before slipping out of the car and into the house. She wondered if Kikyo wasn't already in bed, it was a school night after all. Kagura tiptoed up the stairs, then into the living room that connected the two bedrooms.

         Kikyo was reading quietly, sitting in an armchair.

         Or so it would look to the untrained eye.

         She was sitting just a bit _too stiffly, her movements, such as turning a page were overly rigid. This could only mean that Kikyo was upset. She didn't look up as Kagura closed the door. Kagura came into the room looking sheepish, biting her lip a little. _

         _"What is she, your mom?"_

Kagura almost laughed. Why was she scared of Kikyo all of a sudden? It wasn't as if Kikyo was going to punish her or anything. No, Kagura was old enough that she could stroll in whatever hour of the night she felt like and she'd be damned if anyone stopped her. Kikyo could sit up as straight as she wanted, her back not touching the chair once all night, that didn't change a thing.

         Right?

         "Hey Kikyo." Kagura tried confidently. Kikyo carefully marked her place before closing her book and then putting on the table next to her. Then her brown eyes met Kagura's. Within the pools of brown was swirling a mixture of anger and worry.

         "Where were you?" Kikyo questioned quietly, her voice still cutting through the air even though it was barely above a whisper.

         "Kouga and I lost track of time." Kagura shrugged. 

         "I see." 

         "Kikyo, don't be like that." Kagura pleaded with her. "Come on, what are you doing? Staying up to tell me off for staying up late? Are you my mom now?" 

         "You told me you'd be right back." Kikyo stood up, sticking her chin out. "I thought something might have happened. I was just waiting to get a phone call...from...from anyone telling me there had been an accident or..." Kikyo closed her eyes tightly as though she were in pain. 

         "Oh gods, Kikyo I'm sorry!" Kagura immediately realized how Kikyo must have felt. "I just, I wasn't thinking. I should have called or something."

         "No, you're right." Kikyo's eyes averted to the floor. "I shouldn't reprimand you. You can do whatever you want...I'm not your mom." 

         "Kikyo..." Kagura trailed off as the brown-eyed girl shook her head.

         "I'm going to bed." Kikyo told her before walking to her room and the door closed behind her.

         _Great, she's really upset._

_         You're so dumb sometimes, Kagura._

Kagura went into her own room and changed into her nightgown before leaving her room, turning off the lamps in the living room as she went by before proceeding to go into Kikyo's room. 

         "Kikyo?" Kagura whispered hesitantly. No answer. Kikyo's eyes were closed and Kagura wondered if she could already be asleep. She bent down and kissed Kikyo's cheek. "I'm really sorry." 

         "Stop apologizing. You know it gets on my nerves when people apologize too much." Kikyo opened her eyes and straightened up. 

         "Sorry." Then Kagura started giggling and after a moment, so did Kikyo. "Hey Kikyo?"

         "Yes?" Kikyo was smiling from what she could make out in the darkness. 

         "Can I sweep wid woo tonight?" Kagura asked in a baby voice. She was rewarded with a pillow in the face.

         "Not if you're going to talk like that." Kikyo told her. 

         "Damn, how's your aim so good in the dark?" Kagura complained before climbing into bed with Kikyo. 

         "Luck." Kikyo answered shortly. "Besides, I can't stand listening to couples talk like...that, it's just so...ugh. And it causes everyone else within earshot to start vomiting."

         "Or in your case, causes homicidal urges." Kagura teased her. It was nice to know that Kikyo was always there, even when Kagura did something stupid, Kikyo didn't really hate her because of it. It was the security of having a family. Having someone care about her.

         _"Your present." _

_         "We'll be back in a week."_

_         "Can't you find somewhere to take her?"_

_         "Kagura, not now. I'm busy."_

_         Don't think about that. You don't need to think about that right now. _

*                                   *                                   *

         "Hello, I'm Rin." Rin introduced herself to Kagome. "You must be Inuyasha's sister. So am I!" 

         "Nice to meet you." Kagome smiled faintly and somewhat apprehensively. Who knew what Inuyasha's sister would be like? There was a stoic white-haired young man standing behind Rin who was so pretty, Kagome felt like she might start drooling. 

         "This is Sesshomaru." Rin seemed to catch her curious glances at the man behind her. "He's my brother. Well, my adopted brother." Sesshomaru's face tightened a little. Rin beamed at Kagome. 

         "Are you going to make them stand there all fucking day?" Inuyasha asked as he came up behind her. 

         "Yes, that was my plan Inuyasha, you figured me out." Kagome snapped sarcastically, and she moved so that Rin and Sesshomaru could come in. Inuyasha didn't seem happy to see Sesshomaru at all.

         "I don't remember inviting _you." He hissed at the white-haired young man._

         "Oh Inuyasha, you don't mind do you? Kishi-chan would have been all alone at the house." Rin blinked wide brown eyes at him. 

         "I don't mind, we wouldn't _Kishi-chan to feel lonely, would we?" Inuyasha snickered and Sesshomaru glared. _

         "I had to make sure you didn't lead _my _sister down the path of delinquency." Sesshomaru spoke quietly so that Rin couldn't hear him, but she still did and whirled around on him.

         "Inuyasha isn't a delinquent!" Rin stuck her chin out defiantly. "You promised me that you'd be nice to him!"

         "Rin, you must admit that breaking and entering is _hardly _law-abiding." Sesshomaru seemed surprised that Rin was sticking up for Inuyasha.

         "Breaking and entering?" Kagome felt her eyebrows go up somewhere near her hairline. 

         "Sesshomaru!" Rin looked, angry. "Stop it or _go home_!" Sesshomaru actually took a step back from Rin, as though scared of her.

         "I like the second idea." Inuyasha said in a voice that was just audible enough for Sesshomaru to hear. Sesshomaru shot him a murderous look before turning his yellow eyes back on Rin. 

         They looked so sad that Rin instantly felt bad.

         "Kishi-chan, just please...don't be mean to Inuyasha. You just don't understand it...he was the only one left when our parents died..." Rin was speaking in a much softer tone and Kagome felt like she should probably leave the room. The phone rang, but unfortunately, Inuyasha answered it first.

         "_What?" He barked into it. Kagome hit her forehead, no matter how many times he was told otherwise, _that_ was what Inuyasha deemed an appropriate way to answer the phone. Maybe it was one of the parents, and then Inuyasha would be in trouble. "Oh, what the fuck do you want?" He groaned. "No, she's dead."_

         "Inuyasha!" Kagome tried to grab hold of the phone but he held it out of her reach. 

         "Fuck off." Inuyasha told the person before hanging up.

         "Who was that?" Kagome demanded as soon as he did. 

         "Wrong number." Inuyasha shrugged before sitting down. 

         "Was it really?" Kagome folded her arms in disbelief. "Or was it Kouga?"

         "You forgot about Homo." Inuyasha reminded her. 

         "Was it Hojou?" Kagome darted towards the phone. 

         "It's not fucking important." Inuyasha shook his head. "Get out of here Kagome, go play with your fucking Barbies or something." 

         "BARBIES?!" Kagome screeched in protest. "TELL ME WHO CALLED!"

         "What are you? Fucking queen dictator of the world?" Inuyasha asked her. "I'm not fucking telling you."

         "Just because you have no friends doesn't mean you can take it out on me!" Kagome stomped one of her feet. 

         "Oh, my apologies Miss Freaking Popularity." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. 

         "Bastard." 

         "Bitch."

         "Um...do you want us to leave?" Rin asked hesitantly. Sesshomaru looked almost superior when the suggestion was said out loud. 

         "No, Rin, stay." Inuyasha turned away from Kagome. "This bitch is always fucking on my case about something." The phone rang and both Inuyasha and Kagome dove for it. This caused the table it was sitting on to go crashing over and Kagome and Inuyasha to go toppling over it, Kagome hitting her head sharply on a chair, causing tears to spring up in her eyes as she wrestled with Inuyasha for the phone.

         Kagome twisted it out of his grip and was fighting to get her legs free as she answered it. It was a miracle the phone was still intact and plugged in. "Hello?"

         "Kagome?" Kouga's voice came over the line. 

         "Yeah, get off me, Inuyasha!" Kagome kicked one of her legs best she could, it hit Inuyasha, and obviously hurt him because there was a string of swear words after it. "Sorry, Kouga, Inuyasha's being a-"

         "Um..." Rin wasn't sure what to do as she watched the two. Kagome was bleeding and her and Inuyasha were still struggling when Inuyasha finally caught onto the cord and yanked sharply so that it came out of the wall. 

         "You asshole!" Kagome kicked him off of her. Inuyasha rubbed his chest irritably. 

         "That guy..." Inuyasha couldn't seem to describe what exactly it was that Kouga seemed to be. "There's something about him that I don't like!"

         "Fine, no one's telling _you_ to go out with him!" Kagome began to set the phone up. 

         "You're _not fucking going out with him!" Inuyasha looked somewhat disgusted with the mere suggestion. _

         "Um..." Rin tried to interrupt again. 

         "If you two are done?" Sesshomaru's voice brought instant silence throughout the kitchen. Inuyasha immediately straightened himself and tried to look dignified while Kagome felt her head where the blood was and left the room to go to the bathroom.

         "Yeah, so...what do you guys want to drink?" Inuyasha asked as he walked into the kitchen, avoiding his sister's eyes. Something inside of him felt ashamed right then.

*                                   *                                   *

         The next day, after school, Kouga was surprised to see Kikyo waiting for him, standing there with her arms crossed. But why was Kikyo there? She didn't look happy or even particularly grim. 

         "I need to talk to you." Kikyo began to walk away and Kouga followed her, as he knew that's what she expected him to do. 

         He couldn't think of anything to say at all. What did _Kikyo _want to see him about? "What's this about?"

         "I know what you're doing." Kikyo told him bluntly, spinning on her heel to face him. 

         "What do you mean?" Kouga faked innocence rather well in his opinion. 

         "You know what I'm talking about. Kagura may be blinded by your illusions now, but she's smart, she'll open her eyes." Kikyo spoke calmly as though not really addressing him. 

         "Mad cause your girlfriend wants me?" Kouga raised his eyebrows mockingly.

         "How dare you?" Kikyo looked almost angry, her jaw clenched. "You fool..."

         "Too bad Kikyo, looks like I'm going to take Kagura away from you. I'm gonna make her choose. Then you'll end up all alone, just like I was." Kouga smirked dangerously. "And then I'm going to hurt her like she hurt me."

         "She won't choose you." Kikyo told him fiercely, but still didn't look too ruffled. "Don't you dare try to take her away from me."

         "You think she loves you or something? Kagura doesn't _have _a heart." Kouga felt the words leave his mouth and a hard, surprisingly strong slap from the frail looking Kikyo struck him across the face almost immediately.

         "Kikyo!" Kagura came running up with a shocked and hurt expression. "Why?"

         "I have to go." Kouga sent Kagura a look before turning and walking away.

         "Kouga!" Kagura felt so confused right then. When had that boy she teased so maliciously become such a big deal to her? She turned back to Kikyo. "What did you do?"

         "Kagura, don't you get it?" Kikyo asked. "Kouga...he's not trying to be friends with you or me, or anyone else for that matter!"

         "Just give him a chance Kikyo! Not everyone is out to get you!" Kagura stood up for the blue-eyed boy.

         "Gods, you actually..." Kikyo's eyes widened in disbelief. "You believe him over me..." Kikyo walked away with a disbelieving expression. "You...believe him..."

         "Oh, Kikyo!" Kagura ran forward and threw her arms around her. "No, I...Kouga said you were suspicious of him..."

         _He's already started to manipulate her...Gods...Kagura, I love you more than anyone._

Kikyo turned and hugged Kagura back tightly, a single tear slid down her cheek, a requiem for the friend she was losing.

*                                   *                                   *

         "_You have a date?" Inuyasha watched Kagome applying make-up warily. _

         "Good job, Sherlock." Kagome rolled her eyes.

         "Who with?" Inuyasha questioned sharply. 

         "None of your business!" Kagome turned toward him. "Why are you in here, anyway?"

         "What do you mean, it's none of my business?" Inuyasha stood up, all ready for an argument.

         "What are you? My dad?" Kagome stood up too. "It's my life, stop bothering me."

         "Is it Hobo?" Inuyasha asked.

         "You mean _Hojou?" Kagome corrected. "No."_

         "It's Kouga, isn't it?" Inuyasha glared accusingly at her. "You can't go out with him."

         "Shut up, yes I can!" Kagome protested. "You _aren't _my dad." 

         "Fuck, Kouga?" Inuyasha's face twisted. "Some stupid pretty boy?"

         "He's not stupid!" Kagome snapped. "Like you can talk anyway, you can't even pass special ed. math." She knew by his face that she had gone too far. 

"Shut up!" Inuyasha roared, grabbing her by the shoulders and shoving her against the wall. Kagome felt frightened by how wild and dangerous his eyes looked as he breathed hard. His face was inches from hers. "Just shut the fuck up about that, Kagome." 

         She had seen him with that angry face before, when she saw him get into a fistfight in school a couple of years ago. He was ready to take her down. He couldn't see past his rage at that moment, and it _scared_ her. 

         "L-let me go." Kagome tried to push the fear out of her voice. Inuyasha's eyes widened as he realized what he had been about to do. His grip loosened immediately and he stepped back.

         "Shit...Kagome...I didn't...I wasn't thinking..." Inuyasha looked down, he couldn't meet her eyes. What had he done? "You just..."

         "I...I shouldn't have said that." Kagome lowered her eyes to the floor as well.

         "Yeah." Inuyasha seemed to be agreeing but couldn't think of anything else to say. 

         "Yeah." Kagome nodded her head once. Down below them, the doorbell rang and her mother went to get it. "My date's here, I better go." She started to walk out but Inuyasha caught her wrist. She whirled to face him, he looked out from under his bangs.

         "Kagome...I'm sorry." Inuyasha apologized for the first time since Kagome had met him. 

         "Me too." Kagome admitted, and then she left.

*                                   *                                   *

         Kagome tried to forget the fight that night over dinner with Kouga, but her mind kept getting pulled back to it. Gods, when had their fights escalated to that point? It made her not want to go home. She made dinner last as long as she could, eating rather slowly. 

         "Is something wrong?" Kouga asked for the third time over dinner.

         "Oh, I just..." Kagome took a deep breath, feeling uncomfortable about bringing it up. "Inuyasha and I got into an argument before I left."

         "About what?" Kouga asked, his hand sliding across the table to cover her own. Kagome smiled gratefully at him. 

         "Well, actually, we were arguing about you. I guess Inuyasha doesn't like you." Kagome sighed. "I don't see where he gets this idea that he has a right to decide who I can see and who I can't." 

         "Maybe he's just being overprotective, brothers usually are." Kouga told her.

         "But he's not my brother! Besides, no brother would act like that." Kagome shook her head. "He had no right..."

         "Maybe he thinks he does." Kouga squeezed her hand. "If this is causing problems for you at home, you don't have to go on dates with me. If it'll make it easier for us to be just friends..."

         "No, it's my choice and I want to." Kagome looked determined. "Do you think I'm just going to let Inuyasha dictate my actions?" Kouga smiled at her. 

         "If that's what you want." Kouga said simply, but Kagome felt as though there were more to the words than what she thought. 

         _Something about the way he said it..._

_         I don't why but it seems like a lot rests on this one thing. Or maybe, it's just that way for Kouga. I don't really understand it._

"Of course it's what I want." Kagome felt as though she was declaring this rather stubbornly. That was weird. But right now she just felt conflicted. Why was Inuyasha suddenly apologizing? What could he be thinking? They've always hated each other, and that was the only thing they agreed on.

         The date ended when Kouga walked her to the door and there was a brief moment of awkwardness before he kissed her goodnight. Kagome went inside her house, her knees a bit weak. 

*                                   *                                   *

         _Fuck that._

Inuyasha watched Kouga and Kagome kiss through a window in the living room. Half of him wanted to burst through the door, for some reason watching that made his blood boil. Why that was, he couldn't explain for the life of him. Was it any of his business? No. 

         But then, it felt like his business. And why Kouga? What had happened that turned Kouga into this? Why couldn't he remain that stupid, annoying kid that would just sulk after getting called names? What the hell happened to him?

         _"I've got the best idea for a practical joke!" Kagura bragged to the two. "Wait 'til you hear."_

_         Was it that? Is that what changed him?_

_         How could he be so nice to her after that? I mean, it was pretty shitty of her. I didn't like him either but...maybe that was a little too much._

_         "He was waiting for her."_

_         "Out in the rain?"_

_         "Yeah." _

_         "Do you think...he actually...?" _

_         "I had to walk away. I wasn't sure I could watch that."_

_         And then when Kagura got back..._

_         "Ahahahahahahahahahaha! You guys totally missed out! The guy was crying!"_

Inuyasha frowned as he began to think about how Kouga seemed to forget what happened. For weeks afterward, he had been more withdrawn then usual. It didn't really matter to Inuyasha, big freaking deal, Kouga was sad. He was such a crybaby.

         But why would he and Kagura suddenly be all buddy-buddy? Inuyasha shook his head, that wasn't really anything he was concerned with. He just wanted Kouga to stop being such a thorn in his side. 

         And then this whole thing about him just losing his temper with Kagome tonight. Sure, he always lost his temper with her but...that time, he was really going to hit her. He really wanted to hurt her physically. Whatever their constant fights would amount to, he had never really wanted to hurt her. The whole thing scared him a little. 

         Rin was his family and Kagome was supposed to be his family. If he could almost hit Kagome being that angry, what if he hit Rin when he got mad at her? There was a part of him that said he'd never, ever hurt Rin but now...what if he did? He'd hate himself forever. But Kagome never really gave him a choice. And he hated that. 

         Inuyasha knew he couldn't just mend things between them, and that Kagome was always so dead set against him. What the hell was he supposed to do? The kiss had ended and Inuyasha swore that just for a split second, Kouga saw him through the window and had smirked at him. He definitely wanted to hit Kouga now.

         Kagome came through the door a second later. She shut the door and then turned to see Inuyasha sitting there in a chair. 

         "Ugh, are you guys always going to fucking snog in front of the window?" Inuyasha couldn't really help it. Kagome's eyes widened just a little, as if she wasn't expecting an attack right away.

         "We weren't _snogging, we were saying goodnight, and you shouldn't be spying on me." Kagome flipped her hair over her shoulder angrily._

         "I wasn't spying on you." Inuyasha muttered. "You two were the ones trying to swallow each other's heads."

         "Shut up Inuyasha, you're such an idiot!" Kagome shouted at him. 

         "Hey, hey, what's going on out here?" Noduko came out with a concerned expression. The two kids pretended that the parents didn't know about their fighting, but Noduko and Yasumu were not stupid and could usually hear at least half the yelling. They tried repeatedly to get the two to be on friendly terms, but they just refused. 

         "Inuyasha was spying on me and now he's being a prick." Kagome told her mother, obviously looking for justice.

         "I was not." Inuyasha argued. "She's being a total b-"

         "Okay, okay." Noduko shook her head. "I think I get the point. Just...go to your rooms if you two can't be around each other without being civil!" 

         "I can be civil, he's the problem! I bet now you realize adopting him was a mistake!" Kagome yelled at the two. Noduko's eyes widened and tears started to form there. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed dramatically.

         "Just like your fucking birth! I wish I hadn't been adopted, then I wouldn't have ever met you and I'd be a lot fucking happier!" Inuyasha roared before stalking out of the room and they could hear him stomping up the stairs. 

         Kagome turned toward her mother who had tears openly coming down her face. 

         "Mom..." Kagome started to feel horrible. 

         "No, no. You're right. You two have always hated each other...I hoped...but that was stupid wasn't it?" Noduko lowered her eyes. "I just don't understand why...why can't you two at least...neither of you should say those things..." Noduko rushed out of the room, trying to stop her crying, but she couldn't help it.

         What do you do when your two children hate each other?

*                                   *                                   *

         Kagome stretched out on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The ceiling was white, and it was the only wall that didn't have posters on it. Posters of singers and anime she liked. There were tears in her eyes as she stared at the blankness. 

         Her mother didn't know it was going to end up like this. Kagome didn't even know that things were going to be this way. Why had they become so bad? They truly couldn't stand the other's presence. Kagome turned her head to the bedside table, which contained a picture of the family before Inuyasha's adoption. Before Souta's death.

         Kagome was smiling in her pink kimono and holding a small fan. There were fireworks going on behind them. Souta was giving the peace sign to the camera and her parents were smiling at each other. 

         _That was before this whole mess._

_         I wish Souta were still alive._

_         Then we wouldn't have adopted Inuyasha and we all..._

_         We're all unhappy aren't we? Because it doesn't just affect Inuyasha and me. It affects mom and dad too. I never thought about any of that. _

_         I'm so stupid!_

"Hey." 

         Kagome froze before rolling over and seeing Inuyasha standing by her open door. He wasn't looking at her; his purple eyes were focused on her wall, staring at smiling anime characters wearing brightly colored clothing. 

         "Yeah?" Kagome wasn't angry this time. She was somewhat humbled by the sight of her mother crying like that. She had done that. Inuyasha and her.

         "Why the hell do you hate me so much?" Inuyasha questioned her, his flashing eyes going to hers. 

         "I'm...I'm not sure." Kagome glanced over at the photo again. "I guess it has a lot to do with my brother...and...well, why do you hate me so much?"

         "Because you've hated me since the moment you met me." Inuyasha muttered. "I was pissed off about a lot of things...but that's none of your business."

         "I know." Kagome nodded. "It's none of your business either but...mom's upset. She was crying."

         "She was?" Inuyasha blinked. He had nothing against his adopted parents; he actually thought they were pretty cool. He wasn't sure if he _loved_ them, but he did care about them. They had taken him in after all. He did owe them a lot. "Fuck..."

         "Maybe...we shouldn't...fight so much." Kagome suggested slowly. "I'm not saying we have to like each other, let's just...not when they're around. I don't want them to be upset like that."

         "I don't want them to get upset either." Inuyasha agreed, frowning. "So, don't fight around them?"

         "Yeah, what do you say?" Kagome didn't actually smile at him, just gave him a friendly pleading look.

         "Yeah." Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, I can do that." 

*                                   *                                   *

         "Day off of school, day off of school!" Kagura sang as her and Kikyo rode along in the limo. They were going to meet their parents at a restaurant and their parents had, of course, insisted they come in a limo. The Kazes loved to spoil the two girls rotten. 

         Kaze Yuriko and Kaze Chuuei were waiting at a table patiently until they saw the two of them. Kikyo with her black turtleneck and black pants with a silver cross hanging from a silver chain; and Kagura, with her tight black pants and red shirt were attracting attention from other people who whispered about the two girls for differing reasons. The couple waved happily at them.

         "It's been too long!" Yuriko jumped up and hugged the two girls. And so did Chuuei. "It's too bad that we can only visit for a few days like this."      

         "That's okay, gives us more time to throw giant parties." Kagura grinned as they took their seats. 

         "Giant parties?" Chuuei looked perturbed for a few moments then started laughing. "Well, I have to admit, that's what I would be doing at your age."

         "Don't worry, we haven't had any parties." Kikyo half smiled. "Yet."

         "Too bad, that house is _made for parties." Yuriko winked. "You girls are okay eating here right? I mean, we can go somewhere else if you don't feel like Italian." _

         "No, it's cool." Kagura shrugged. "This is the place with the awesome fettuccine alfredo, isn't it?"

         "That stuff'll be the death of me." Chuuei took a drink of water. 

         "Tell me everything that's happened while we've been gone!" Yuriko looked at them brightly. 

         "We met people that used to live at the orphanage with us! We all ended up at the same high school." Kagura informed them.

         "Are you all friends?" Yuriko asked. 

         "You could say that." Kikyo said dryly. 

         "Well, um, _Kikyo doesn't get along with all of them but-" Kagura was cut off._

         "I'm sorry, I don't get along with people who are conniving bastards." Kikyo snapped. 

         "Kikyo!" Chuuei looked stunned. 

         "I told you before, and I'll tell you again, Kagura," Kikyo turned toward her, brown eyes flashing. "Kouga isn't what he seems at all, you've got to open your eyes."

         "Shut up." Kagura shook her head. "That's stupid. You...you're jealous!" Kikyo's eyes widened. 

         "That's...that's ridiculous! I'm not jealous..." Kikyo trailed off. "Do what you want then, I'm warning you though. I'm trying to show you, Kagura. Why would I lie to you?"

         "Why would he lie?" Kagura asked her. "He's been nothing but nice to me and-"

         "Kagura! Think about what you've done to him in the past! If you were him, what would you do? Could you really forgive and forget so easily?" Kikyo asked in a demanding tone.

         "Obviously you can't." Kagura threw her napkin down. "I'm going to the restroom." And she turned on her heel, walking off. Chuuei and Yuriko looked rather stunned at Kikyo. Kikyo sighed before going after Kagura. 

         She caught up with her in the girls' bathroom, looking into the mirror in frustration. Kikyo walked in behind her and Kagura saw the pale girl in the mirror's reflection. 

         "This is stupid, I don't know why I got all defensive." Kagura shook her head. "I just...I don't see what you have against him..."

         "I want you to know now, that no matter what mistakes you might make, I believe in you and I'll forgive them." Kikyo put a hand on her shoulder. Kagura turned and Kikyo saw that Kagura's eyes were watering a little. 

         "Kagura..." Kikyo was a little surprised. Kagura smiled reassuringly, all the while, things were going through her head.

         _"Can't you find somewhere to take her?"_

_         "We don't have time."_

_         "Later, Kagura."_

_         "Your present." _

_         "Momma, can you come see my painting?" _

_         "Kagura, can't you see that I'm busy right now?"_

_         And after that...I didn't know...where to turn..._

_         "I'm Kikyo."_

_         "Want me to teach you how to knit?"_

_         "Here, I'll show you."_

_         "I made you something for your birthday!"_

_         "Kikyo, wanna see my painting?"_

_         "It's beautiful."_

_         I need something to hold onto. And there's only one person who's always been there. _

Kagura wrapped her arms around Kikyo tightly.  She wasn't expecting it, but still quickly returned the gesture. Kagura didn't want to let go, she wanted to bury her head in Kikyo's turtleneck, breathing in Kikyo's perfume and letting Kikyo's hands console her gently. 

         They left the bathroom, Kikyo and her making some sort of silent resolution not to bring up Kouga at all. They told their adopted parents about their grades and what not. Yuriko and Chuuei told them all about their latest trip and then they finished up lunch. 

         After lunch it was a barrage of things to do. First they went shopping, Kagura buying so much clothing that it had to be ran home ahead of time because there simply wasn't enough room. Kikyo bought a bunch of books and other things. Then they went home and changed before going out to another fancy restaurant and then to the opera. 

         It was good being together again like a family. Even if only for a short while.

*                                   *                                   *

         The next day at lunch, Kagura and Kikyo were sitting in their regular spot, innocently eating lunch, waiting for Inuyasha to come and join them, now that he regularly ate lunch with the two girls. Just minding their own business until...

         "Ah, it's a shame to see two beautiful ladies eating without any male company." A smooth voice spoke up melodramatically. Kikyo and Kagura both looked up at the interruption. The interruption had taken the form of a rather good-looking young man with black hair that was pulled back into a small ponytail, one ear with two piercings where small hoops dangled, and a pair of violet eyes that had somewhat of a wicked gleam to them. "Please allow this humble man to sit with you." 

         Kagura laughed and Kikyo gave him a semi-threatening look that suggested she might merely rip out his eyeballs and shove them down his throat if he made one false move. He took his chances and sat down facing them. 

         "Are you new?" Kagura asked curiously. "I don't think I've seen you around."

         "Yes, I just moved here." The violet-eyed man slid closer to her, his hand smoothly going over her own. "I'm Houshi Miroku, I'm very honored to meet you."

         "Hmph." Kikyo looked only a little sullen. That was until Miroku decided to make the situation better by taking her hand as well. 

         "Oh, don't feel ignored, your beauty is shining just as brightly as your companion's." Miroku assured her. "Would you two like to go on a-"

         Something connected with the back of Miroku's head and he ended up hitting his head as he moved forward too fast to stop himself.

         "Fucking pervert." Kagura and Kikyo looked up to see Inuyasha there, a Sobe bottle in his hand, the object that he clearly hit Miroku over the head with. "I knew I shouldn't have asked him to sit with us."

         "You know him?" Kikyo asked in a false sweet voice.

         "I met him this morning in first period, he was asking girls out on dates." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Whenever he wasn't spouting fucking sappy poetry shit, he was okay to talk to. So far I've watched him chase after every girl that's even fucking halfway decent looking." 

         "That's simply not true." Miroku looked scandalized. "I just happen to appreciate beauty and it would be a crime not to stop and admire the many pretty girls at this school."

         "Dude, shut up." Inuyasha groaned. "Besides, you're totally barking up the wrong tree, Kikyo's a lesbian."

         "I respect the fine lesbian culture." Miroku seemed to have no problem with this. 

         "What about me?" Kagura seemed slightly miffed that her sexual tendencies had been overlooked.

         "Well, I'm still wondering about that. Fuck, aren't you and Kouga screwing?" Inuyasha shrugged. 

         "No!" Kagura looked scandalized. "Gah, give me some credit. Besides, can't you tell that Kikyo and I are together, Mr. Look-At-My-Broken-Gaydar?" 

         "Kagura..." Kikyo began unsurely. 

         "I don't care what goes on between you two. Besides, I figured as freaking much, you two are always together." Inuyasha tried to look knowledgeable. "It was either that or Kikyo was just fucking pining."

         "Pining?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow. 

         "I think it's a very admirable thing." Miroku put a hand over his heart, looking moved by the conversation. "When two beautiful women find love, truly, it's the best kind."

         "You just want to watch." Inuyasha snorted.

         "And I would never do anything to separate such a wonderful love, so," Miroku took a deep breath. "Would you ladies be interested in a threesome?" 

         A second later, Kagura and Kikyo each had one of Miroku's arms and were twisting them behind his back quite painfully. Inuyasha laughed so hard that Sobe came out his nose. Finally, when Miroku swore he would never ask again, they let him up.

         "And next time..." Kikyo began to list off a number off many horrific tortures that she would subject Miroku to the next time he suggested such an idea. They were so horrible that Inuyasha thought he would vomit. 

         "Can you even do all that to a male without them dying first?" Kagura whispered to Inuyasha.

         "..." Inuyasha was completely lost for words and scared. Very, very scared.

         "I mean, like the part with the castration they might live through, but the rest...well...I mean, can you _really rip someone's bowels out through their mouth?" Kagura went on skeptically. _

         "Oh yes." Kikyo was as calm as ever. "It's all in the wrist."

*                                   *                                   *

         Sesshomaru finished his homework before Rin finished hers. Their mother often commented on how Sesshomaru never did his homework in his room where there was a perfectly good desk. Nope, he'd sit on Rin's floor or on her bed and do his homework right next to her. 

         "Are you finished already?" Rin looked up brightly at him. "I'm almost done too."

         "I think we should go out to dinner tonight." Sesshomaru suggested. "Just you and me."

         "Oooh," Rin looked downcast. "I'd love to but..."

         "What? Are you busy? What are you doing? With who?" Sesshomaru began to fire off questions. "Did someone ask you out on a date?" He looked so alarmed at that thought that Rin thought he might go into a cardiac arrest.

         "No, silly!" Rin giggled. "Inuyasha and I are going to get some pizza." 

         "Pizza?" Sesshomaru didn't seem to like the sound of this. "I'm coming with you."

         "But you and Inuyasha don't get along." Rin bit her lip. "I don't want to watch you guys be mean to each other."

         "I won't say one word against him." Sesshomaru vowed. 

         "Well...okay!" Rin agreed. 

         "And Rin..." Sesshomaru trailed off pensively. "If you are going to date, you have to let your older brother meet him beforehand. I just want to make sure he's honorable of course."

         _And that if he doesn't leave the house in the next ten seconds I will personally kill him with my bare hands. _

"I'm not going to date anyone Kishi-chan!" Rin poked him in the ribs. "Do you remember when we used to play wedding?"

         "Of course, you insisted on being both the bride and the flower girl." Sesshomaru semi-smiled. 

         "I'm going to be both at my wedding!" Rin declared. She clapped her hands together as she often did when she got excited. "Oh, you have to be something important at my wedding too! Like the best man!" 

         "That's up to the groom to decide." Sesshomaru tried hard to hide his disappointment. "You always had me be the groom and the preacher." He reminded her hopefully.

         "And I made you wear all those flowers in your hair, you looked so pretty!" Rin didn't seem to notice, caught up in the nostalgia. "You probably hated that though."

         "I couldn't hate it, you spent so much time picking those flowers." Sesshomaru closed his eyes for a moment.

         _"This one looks pretty with your eyes!" An eight-year-old Rin held up a purple flower. "Now we can get married!"_

"You're so sweet Kishi-chan." Rin hugged him suddenly and then got up off her bed. "Well, we should probably get going, I'm supposed to meet him soon." 

         "Great." Sesshomaru wasn't one to pout, but he came very close to it, watching Rin bouncing with happiness because she was going to spend time with someone else.

         Rin wasn't supposed to like spending time with anybody else. She was just supposed to like him. She was so bursting with kindness that she couldn't possibly contain it, though, and seemed to love everyone and everything she came into contact with. Rin got upset when people were mean to each other or when people didn't seem to get along. 

         Sesshomaru _hated to upset Rin or see her cry, but he felt like he could never get along with Inuyasha. For one, that stupid kid had tried to take Rin away from him years ago and Rin had always called Sesshomaru her only brother. That was until Inuyasha came back into her life this year and now she talked about having _two _brothers. What was so great about Inuyasha? Why did he get to be such a big part of Rin's life now as well? _

         Oh well, hopefully he could get through this dinner without making Rin upset.

*                                   *                                   *

         "Goddammit, don't you have anything better to do than follow her around?" Inuyasha turned toward the yellow-eyed young man who glared in reply. Rin had run up to get their pitcher of soda. "She can go places without _Kishi-chan_."

         "Shut up before I kill you." Sesshomaru hissed. "If you upset her, I'll shove this fork down your throat." 

         "It's okay that I got Dr Pepper, right?" Rin asked as she set it down with a smile. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha immediately pretended they weren't glaring at each other. "Oh! I forgot straws!" Rin walked off again.

         "I'd like to see you try, Kishi-chan." Inuyasha jeered. "At least I don't have some weird ass crush on my adopted sister."

         "I-" Sesshomaru began indignantly but Rin returned.

         "What are you guys talking about?" She slid into the booth next to Sesshomaru.

         "School." The two boys said at once.

         'It's good to see you two getting along." Rin beamed at the two of them. "I've got to use the restroom." Rin left the table again.

         "My sister-" Sesshomaru began but Inuyasha cut him off.

         "She's _my sister." Inuyasha countered._

         "Yes, because you've been a great brother. Showing her how to be a burgle." Sesshomaru smirked.

         "Shut up." Inuyasha snapped. And then added. "Kishi-chan."

         "Stop calling me that." Sesshomaru told him in a threatening voice. 

         "Why, 'cause it's Rin's pretty princess pet name for you?" Inuyasha snickered. "Do you guys have tea parties and shit?"

         "She obviously considers me to be a better brother than you." Seshomaru secretly flexed his fingers under the table. "I bet you don't know the first thing about her. You're just an idiotic delinquent who-"

         "Busted." Inuyasha interrupted quietly and Sesshomaru turned around to see Rin looking at him, her eyes clouding over with tears and a completely hurt look dawning on her face. She brought her hands up to her mouth. 

         "Rin." Sesshomaru felt a stab of pain and guilt go through him.

         "C-come on Inuyasha." Rin said in between small sobs. "Let's go." Inuyasha got up quickly and went over to his sister. Sesshomaru glared at him as Inuyasha put an arm around her. 

         "Rin, wait-" Sesshomaru tried to say something.

         "No! Y-you p-promised." Rin sniffled. "A-and then you were mean to him anyways. Y-you don't even care about anyone, do you?" And with that, Rin buried her face into Inuyasha's shirt. Inuyasha half-carried her out of the place, sending one last murderous glare at Sesshomaru. 

         Rin and him sat down at a bench when Rin seemed almost impossible to console. 

         "He's usually not like that, Inuyasha." Rin told him. "Usually he's really nice."

         "Yeah, I can tell, winning fucking personality." Inuyasha muttered. 

         "Oh don't!" Rin pushed him away. "Don't you dare start on him. I'll hate you forever!" 

         "Rin..." Inuyasha took a deep breath. "Come on, fuck, the guy has hated me since I met him, so sorry if I don't have anything nice to say. Damn, don't cry."

         "I'm sorry." Rin wiped her eyes in vain. "I just...I can't stand to see you and him like that." 

         _Damn, this is like mom. Sesshomaru and me better make a deal like Kagome and mine, or Rin's just going to get more depressed._

"Hey, let's go to the movies. I'll buy you all the candy you want." Inuyasha offered in an attempt to comfort her. 

         "Okay." Rin looked sad, but together they went off to the movies. 

         *                                   *                                   *

         Sesshomaru felt so lost and hopeless at that moment. Rin was never going to forgive him now. He sat down on a barstool and after showing his ID, began to buy drink after drink. 

         He wasn't one for getting drunk. But he didn't know what to do, so he turned to booze to try to give him some temporary relief or a solution. Of course, the liquid that burned at his throat didn't make him feel better. He felt worse.

         _I'm sorry Rin. _

_         I'm so sorry. I do care about people, I care about you! You're the most important thing. _

He remembered Inuyasha walking away with his arms around Rin and he drank even faster. Sesshomaru couldn't understand his intense jealously sometimes; he just knew that he wanted to keep Rin all to himself and Rin wanted to run free. 

         _Am I losing her?_

Sesshomaru finally decided that he should get home, and so started on his way, not caring if his parents were mad at him for coming home staggering drunk. It was almost impressive that he found his way home after that much booze. 

         When he got there, part of him felt like just passing out on the front porch but, deciding against that, he came in. His parents were probably either asleep or in the family room watching TV like they did every night before bed. Sesshomaru made his way up the stairs with a surprising amount of balance. 

         Rin's door opened as he came by and she poked her head out of it. 

         "Sesshomaru?" Her voice was small as though she wasn't sure what to say. Sesshomaru's brain was swimming with depression and alcohol. He threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Sesshomaru..."

         "I'm so sorry Rin...I'm so sorry..." Sesshomaru thought he might be crying, his voice sounded hoarse enough. 

         "Kishi-chan..." Rin hugged him back. "It's okay. It's okay." 

         "Rin, I love you so much." Sesshomaru still wouldn't let her go. "I love you more than...than anything else."

         "Sesshomaru..." Rin stiffened with surprise. "I love you too. You've always been a wonderful brother to me."

         "I thought you were going to hate me." Sesshomaru pulled away a little. 

         "I'm never going to hate you." Rin told him. Then she took a close look at him. "Sesshomaru...are you...drunk?" The whole notion was so foreignly linked with the stoic white-haired man that Rin was rather taken aback.

         "A little..." Sesshomaru confessed. "I...I couldn't stand you being upset like that." 

         "Come on, let's get you to bed." Rin helped him into his room, where she made sure he sat down on the bed before helping take his shoes off. 

         Sesshomaru watched her with fascination. She was so beautiful and pure, looking at him through those eyes, bright brown eyes that looked misplaced on a teenager, as though she had never grown past the age of eight. They sparkled as she helped him under the covers. 

         _She's just the opposite of me, so innocent and kind. _

_         So different from what I am._

_         "Come here Sesshomaru."_

_         "If you ever say one word to anyone about this, I'll kill you."_

_         "Sesshomaru, why won't you say anything?"_

_         "I almost say it's due to trauma ma'am, though I can't say for sure without some more tests..."_

_         "He may never speak again."_

"Thank you...Rin..." Sesshomaru trailed off as Rin leaned down and kissed him gently on the forehead. 

         "It's no problem." Rin bowed her head quickly. 

         _You'll never realize how much you've done for me._

*                                   *                                            *

         "It's like we're breaking in...to your pool." Kouga laughed at Kagura who leaped the fence to the backyard. 

         "I forgot my keys inside and I think Kikyo's asleep." Kagura called over the fence. "Come on." Kouga hurriedly went over the fence to where he was greeted by a huge pool and hot tub. To his left looked like some small house, maybe it was a guest cottage, and then a cabana where an obvious bar set-up was.

         "I don't have any swimming stuff with me." Kouga reminded her.

         "Go look around in there." Kagura gestured at the small house. "That's where the changing rooms are, there's separate ones for girls and boys. I'm sure some of my dad's shorts will fit you." 

         "Those are your changing rooms?" Kouga blinked. He went inside them and quickly found a pair of shorts, thinking about how it was getting to be sort of cold outside and the pool might not be at it's warmest...He left the changing room wearing a pair of blue shorts. Kagura came out of the girls' entrance a second later. 

His eyes widened as they locked on her scarlet bikini. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail as usual. Her slim body, long legs, and rather (in Kouga's opinion) impressive bust, were even more apparent then ever.

         "Pool time!" Kagura exclaimed before starting toward the pool.

         "It's a little cold..." Kouga hesitated.

         "Where's your sense of adventure?" Kagura hit him in the arm. She ran towards the pool and dove in. When she surfaced again, she looked expectantly at him. 

         "You asked for it." Kouga grinned before cannon-balling into the pool and splashing Kagura. She shrieked and pretended to be mad but she was laughing. 

         "Brrr...it is cold." Kagura shivered a little when Kouga re-surfaced. "Race ya' to the hot tub!" 

         "You're on!" Kouga and her started swimming towards the other end of the pool where the hot tub was. They stayed tied until they both got out of the pool and began running for the hot tub. Unfortunately, Kagura stumbled and grabbed Kouga to stop from falling.

         Kouga was thrown off balance and they both fell to the ground, rolling a couple of times before stopping, Kagura underneath Kouga. 

         Their eyes locked as they tried to catch their breaths. Kagura felt for a moment, her heart skip a beat, the air caught in her lungs, and she was very aware of Kouga's body pressed against hers. She felt blood go to her face, her cheeks warm slightly against the cold air. The two didn't move for several moments, not saying anything.

         Then finally, Kagura slowly came back to reality.

         "Uh...better get to that hot tub, it's cold." Kagura somehow felt as though that sounded idiotic.

         "Yeah." Kouga agreed but the two didn't move. 

         "Er, you want something to drink?" Kagura asked. 

         "Yeah." Kouga blinked and then started to get up. "Sorry, I guess I sort of..."

         "Spaced out." Kagura finished. "Me too." The two got some alcohol out of the bar and then got into the hot tub. Kagura wasn't sure what that had been she had felt for a second.

         Kikyo watched the two with a sad expression out the window of her bedroom. 

         *                                   *                                   *

         Um, that's all. For now anyways. I'm serious. Um, yeah, if you thought things were a bit complicated before...just wait, it gets worse. A LOT worse. The relationship chart is worse then Yura's hair. Sadly...no Shippo in this story. Yeah. I couldn't think of a good way to put him in THIS story. Plus...I don't think Shippo could deal with the coming plot developments. I rated this story R because of future stuff that's gonna happen and last time I deemed a story wasn't quite R, it got deleted. (I'm not bitter, I swear.) 

         Some random notes:

         Kagura is singing "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran in that one scene. This is because every time I heard that song I thought of this story and had to put it in somewhere. Although, at first I was tempted to have Kouga sing it. ~_^. 

         I realize there's a lot of American stuff in here. **Shrugs** No big deal, right?

         I cried while writing some of those Inuyasha/Rin scenes at the beginning, it was just too sad. 

         I have no clue what the Kaze Corporation does. Think of it like the Doumyouji Corporation or something. 

         I know a lot of stuff is totally unexplained, a lot of pasts need to be clarified, and I swear it's all going to be told soon. Most of it's pretty sad. (Surprise! I mean, this is such a _happy story.) I guess I gave enough teasers for some people to guess what happened and what's going to happen. So much foreshadowing. It's probably bad for you guys or something. I'm interested to hear what theories some of you will come up with. ^_^. Plus, sometimes it helps for story ideas. (Not that I don't know what's going to happen or anything. Teresa helped!)_

         'Kishi-chan', Sesshomaru's nickname is 'knight'. (Remember how I mentioned they played pretend games like that? I think it's a bit sappy but whatever. It's so Rin to nickname people.)  

         The title, 'Fade Away' comes from the song 'Fade Away' by Seether.

_"I wanna be there when you call  
I wanna catch you when you fall  
I wanna be the one you need  
I wanna be the one you breathe  
  
Today's the day we'll fade away, oh  
Today's the day we'll fade away, oh  
Today's the day we'll find our way grown  
Today's the day we'll fade away  
  
I wanna be there when you cry  
And when you're down I'll help you fly  
I wanna be the one you need  
I wanna be the one you breathe  
  
Today's the day we'll fade away, oh  
Today's the day we'll fade away, oh  
Today's the day we'll find our way grown  
Today's the day we'll fade away, oh  
  
But I'm coming back,   
and I'm taking back everything I can  
It's breaking me up and tearing me up  
It's all I have  
And I'm coming back,   
and I'm taking back everything I can  
It's breaking me up and tearing me up  
It's all I have."_

_         -_I think it really represents everyone in the story. __

         I hope Kenkaya reviews. 

         I hope everyone reviews!

         I gotta go, I have a chapter of IBIY I swore I would write before I went to bed. Ja ne!

         __


	2. Part Two

Reviews! Reviews! You guys...seriously, it brought tears to my eyes, and some of your guys' reviews were so moving. (I can be soooo emotional sometimes) ^_^. Thanks so much! And Inuyasha Moon, don't worry, I love long reviews. I was asked by one of you about pairings and I'm really, really sorry, but I cannot reveal the pairings as some of them would make you go, "Wait...um...Jade? I think you wrote them down wrong." Kenkaya, yahhhhh! Dude, you make good predictions. Seriously. No, Naraku is going to be Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic. I think the characters will have enough problems without his help. As to where Sango is...you'll see. 

Strange Note: I just got Word again and I was adding words to the dictionary and one of the suggestion replacements for Hojou was 'hobo' much to my snickering amusement. One of Inuyasha's was 'Natasha.' Ehehehehehe. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Or like anything else mentioned here. I do own my storyline though. 

Warnings: Same as before. Some characters are bad. Don't follow their examples. 

Fade Away

  
Part Two

            Kikyo was reading as she sat on the couch, not sitting straight up, just lounging around. All her homework was done; she had cleaned her already clean room twice. It was only eleven a.m. 

            She prided herself on being able to amuse herself. Of course, she hadn't really had to do so for quite some time. There was usually somebody else around to drag her away from studying or books. Somebody to insist they go shopping or go to a movie or do _something_. This person usually took the form of Kagura. 

            But Kagura wasn't there.

            She woke up to see a hastily scribbled note on the table in the living room. 

            _Dear Kikyo,_

_            Went to hang out with Kouga for awhile. Be back soon._

_                        Kagura_

She hadn't even woken Kikyo up to say it. Just written a note. Kikyo had crumpled it angrily into a ball and thrown it away. Yes, gone to hang out with Kouga for awhile, which probably meant all day and then most of the night since it was Saturday. And after Kikyo had to prepare for this day for quite some time.

            Kikyo caught her reflection in one of the mirrors. A pale girl with haunted brown eyes and long black hair. Today she was wearing a white shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Her white shirt had short sleeves.

            And while most people wouldn't have understood it, Kagura would have. Kagura would smile and tell her that she looked great. Kagura would ignore the scars on Kikyo's arms. 

            She had tried to cover them up most of her life because she knew that they were ugly, and they represented something she never wanted to remember. But she did. She had nightmares about it still. The nightmares were far rarer then they were in the beginning. Kikyo's slim fingers carefully moved over the lines. 

            It had been a Saturday, just like this one. Kikyo had been seven years old at the time and her mother and father were in the kitchen, laughing and talking. Some strange smell drifted towards her nostrils but she was small, she didn't know what that smell was. It smelled like the fireplace. So maybe it was just that. Kikyo wandered back up to her room.

            She liked to spend time in her room and when her parents would call her down for dinner, she would hide. It was their little game. Kikyo would hide and her parents would come and try to find her. This time she'd be really clever. 

            Kikyo hid under her bed today. Watch the parents try to find her this time. 

            And then that smell grew stronger, and stronger, it made her dizzy. And then she heard her parents calling.

            _They're just calling trying to make me show them were I'm hiding. Ha, I won't fall for that._

So she stayed there as she heard her parents calling, screaming, yelling and she just sat there priding herself in her own seven year old brilliance. Then she heard a huge crashing noise which frightened her. A feeling of cold dread crept up her spine as she scrambled out and went out into the hall. 

            Fire.

            It was everywhere, eating away at the house, at her life. She ran downstairs and was now yelling for her parents. She didn't know what to do. Her parents would know and she ran into the living room. Before that moment, she had always stared at the huge bookshelf in awe. It held so many books; surely no one could read them all. 

            This time, she drew back in horror. It had fallen over as it burned. And trapped under it were her struggling her parents. They couldn't move and they yelled out as they saw her. 

            Tears sprang up in her eyes, partly from the smoke but also because she wasn't sure what to do so she tried to move the bookshelf. But it was too big. It was so much bigger then her. 

            Struggling and trying to ignore the white hot pain as flames licked her arms Kikyo couldn't budge it and watched as her parents screamed in pain, trying to figure out how to help them. 

            Firemen came eventually, pulled Kikyo away. They packed Kikyo away in an ambulance and the last thing she saw was her house through the ambulance doors. The roof collapsed into it. 

            She would never see it again.

            She would never see her parents again either.

            Kikyo touched her reflection for a moment. 

            _You idiot, you just sat there...they wouldn't have died if you had just come when they called._

_            No, you sat there twiddling your thumbs while they died._

_            "Don't say it like that." Kagura told her once. "That's stupid, you were just a little kid, and how could you know?"_

Kagura wasn't there now. Kikyo stared at the ugly scars on her arms and pushed away from the mirror before going into her room so she could change. It was stupid to show the world what she had done. In fact the whole thing was stupid. Kikyo looked at a picture that was staring at her. They all had one, the whole orphanage group. Kikyo and Kagura and the others in the only picture the orphanage managed to get them all in.

            Kagura was smiling with his arms around Kikyo. And Kouga, Kouga was the one shunted.

            How had it changed on her?

            She could see Kouga and Kagura laughing together, talking, and even...she didn't want to think about that.

            _"Omigod, is he actually waiting?"_

_            "I'm going back."_

_            "He was crying!"_

_            "Kagura doesn't have a heart!"_

_            You decided that that day, didn't you Kouga? And now you're going to pay her back for all of it. No matter what I say, she doesn't hear me. It's like some horrible spell that you've put on her. _

_            One prank. One stupid prank when we were kids. _

_            It was cruel. I understand that you can't forgive her. _

_            But you're doing what she did to you. So really in the end...you've turned into the person you hate the most._

*                                              *                                              *

            Kagura did stay out all day. And all night. At midnight, sitting on the hood of Kouga's truck, watching the stars with him as they sipped at cokes and were wearing jackets to protect themselves from the warm, Kagura leaned back on the windshield and checked her watch.

            "Oh boy." Kagura giggled. "I'm sure Kikyo will be thrilled when I get back."

            "I'm sure she found something to do." Kouga scooted just a little closer to Kagura on the hood. Kagura pretended not to notice. Today weird moments like that kept happening. At lunch, they had gotten food at a Panda Express and were fighting so exuberantly with a pair of chopsticks that Kouga had to catch her from falling out of her seat. 

            They had both frozen and then tried to pretend there was nothing weird about the moment. Kagura couldn't say what it was when his arms were wrapped around her body that had made her stop and her thought processes to stop completely. Maybe...well, she had remembered feeling like that before with someone else.

            But it had to be coincidence. She didn't have a lot of close friends, so it was only right that Kikyo felt the same way around Kouga as she did around Kikyo, she spent so much time with him. That was it; she was just treating him like how she'd treat all her closest friends. 

            Yeah, riiight.

            "Yeah, probably." Kagura shrugged. Kikyo didn't need her for entertainment. But then there was that little nagging thought.

            _Kikyo has never been very social and you keep running off without her._

_            It's not my fault. Besides, she and Kouga don't get along._

"What are you thinking about?" Kouga asked as he noticed the pensive look on her face. Kagura sighed a little.

            "Just thinking about Kikyo. I wish you two got along better..." Kagura looked almost sad, her eyes looking down at her hands under her long lashes.

            "Kikyo seems to be the one with the problem." Kouga defended himself. "She slapped me in the hall."

            "And she keeps claiming that you're lying to me...but I don't think so." Kagura looked up into his blue eyes. "You're nice and we have fun together, I don't think that you would just pretend all this for...for I don't know."

            Kouga nodded his head as though he understood. Their faces were inches apart. His arm twitched.

            _She believes you._

_            Not Kikyo._

_            Kiss her._

_            If you kiss her, she'll be even more confused. She's so stupid to think that you'd actually like her._

_            "How could I ever be in love with a loser like you?"_

The words came up unbidden and Kouga's stomach clenched. Just remembering those words, those few words, he remembered exactly why he was here; making Kagura believe him, love him. See how she liked it. See how she liked it when it was turned around on her. 

            Oddly enough, he wouldn't be surprised if she had forgotten all about it. It was just another prank that ended well for her. She could hang the victory up with the others and then forget to come back and dust them off. She would.

            He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers. Kagura was surprised, he could tell from the way she seemed to freeze up next to him. His lips touching hers and in that moment, he could feel all her emotions. She didn't know what to do, and so she let him. After a moment, he pulled away.

            "Sorry, about that." Kouga tried to seem casual. "Just felt kind of nostalgic. You didn't mind, right?"

            "N-no." Kagura also tried to be casual. "No, yeah, sometimes I feel like just kissing people."

            "Yeah, I used to kiss some of my female friends at my old school and some people would make a big deal about it." Kouga went on.

            "Oh." Kagura's voice sounded rather neutral but her eyes seemed to have flames flickering behind her. 

            _Excellent. She's jealous._

Kagura tried to shake her head a little. Just to shake off the weird feelings welling up inside of her. It was nothing. It was just a kiss. Something made her feel guilty about it and an image of Kikyo rose unbidden to mind.

            _Maybe you shouldn't say anything to Kikyo._

_            She doesn't like Kouga and she won't understand that it was just a kiss._

_            Just a stupid kiss._

_            Okay, a good stupid kiss but still._

_            Yeah, it would probably better if you just didn't say anything about it. _

She had nothing to feel guilty about, she hadn't done anything yet.

            It's funny; most people don't realize their crimes until somebody points them out to them and no one there was going to point out anything to Kagura.

            *                                              *                                              *

            There was no toothpaste left.

            None.

            Kagome found herself clamping both hands over her mouth before the yelling even began. She and Inuyasha had been tiptoeing around each other as much as possible. To fight less, the two parties had both come to the same solution:

            Avoid the other as much as possible. 

            If they knew the other was in the room, they wouldn't go in there. Inuyasha had taken this into account and spend as much time not at home as possible and when he was home, he could usually be found in his room. Or in the kitchen, trying to stealthily grab some food and get back to his room. Kagome would kidnap the phone and spend hours talking to Kouga and occasionally Hojou whom she'd known since grade school. 

            But with things like the toothpaste being completely empty, catching Inuyasha drinking straight from the carton, and his incredibly loud music (Inuyasha was a male and all males have 'Listen To How Badass My Speakers Are' Syndrome.) Kagome thought she was the most self controlled person in the world. 

            They were both looking for good healthy ways to vent their frustration so their parents wouldn't know. Kagome had taken to writing huge letters of complaints, mostly written in capital letters and many a swear word, and then tearing them into pieces. Inuyasha seemed to be getting into more fights at school, so more detentions for him, and another excuse not to be at the house.

            There must be toothpaste left in the downstairs bathroom, Kagome told herself before stepping outside the upstairs bathroom. 

            Only to come face to face with Inuyasha.

            Not only was it him but he was wearing two towels. Now, normally, Kagome wouldn't say anything about this, naturally he had one wrapped around his waist. The other was wrapped around his head and Kagome knew that Inuyasha hated to have other people see him with the towel wrapped around his head 'because it was fucking girly' but it wasn't his towel. 

            It was Kagome's towel. In fact, she had just washed it and put it in the downstairs bathroom, expecting to take a lovely warm shower in the morning without running into Inuyasha in the upstairs bathroom. Apparently he had thought of something very similar.

            It was something about seeing Inuyasha wearing _her _towel, his teeth gleaming from what was probably supposed to be _her_ toothpaste, and wearing a slight smirk that she knew meant he was just waiting for her to challenge him. He probably used the downstairs bathroom, left it a mess, probably left the freaking seat up!

            "Goddammit Inuyasha, that's my towel!" Kagome stomped her foot not being able to bottle her rage at all. She reached over and tried to snatch the towel off his head. He stepped back in a rush and tripped fallen, flat on his rear end. 

            "Crazy ass bitch." Inuyasha rubbed his bottom as he tried to get up and make sure his towel stay just where it was supposed to. "Doesn't have your fucking name on it."

            "Yeah, well you wouldn't be able to read it anyways." Kagome made another snatch for the towel but Inuyasha moved out of the way. 

            "It's a fucking _towel_." Inuyasha pointed out as though Kagome hadn't noticed this fact beforehand.

            "No, really?" Kagome rolled her eyes.

            "Are you two fighting up there?" Yasumu called up the stairs and Kagome and Inuyasha both froze, remembering their resolution.

            "No!" They chorused before listening to him walk away and then turning back towards each other, ready to resume the petty arguing. 

            But for once, Kagome didn't feel like fighting it out with Inuyasha about it. Inuyasha didn't look quite so up to it either. They stood there, looking rather uncomfortable. If they weren't fighting what were they supposed to be doing?

            "Uh, yeah." Inuyasha decided that this ended it all. 

            "Exactly." Kagome agreed. 

            "Don't freak out about towels." Inuyasha tried to hold onto the dying vestiges of the argument.

            "Don't use mine." Kagome folded her arms. They sort of looked at each other for a few more moments and then proceeded to walk away, eyeing the other suspiciously as though they would spring into an attack at any moment.

            Inuyasha turned to watch Kagome walk into her room.

            "That was fucking weird." 

            *                                              *                                              *

            Kikyo decided that Kouga made lame jokes. 

            In fact, he was the least funny of the group, so _why _exactly he felt the need to crack a joke every five seconds and make Kagura giggle was beyond her. And why Kagura was giggling at every joke he made no sense to her either. Inuyasha was just rolling his eyes and occasionally telling Kouga he was lame. 

            Then Miroku joined the group.

            "Hello ladies." Miroku put an arm around Kikyo who stomped on one of his feet, venting all the annoyance in her being towards him. He quickly backed away.

            "Hey Miroku, how was..." Kouga trailed off, looking up. They turned to see Kagome walking up to them waving. 

            "Hey Kouga!" Kagome greeted him. 

            "Oh, hey, Kagome." Kouga had a really odd look on his face. "Isn't it almost time for class?" He walked off with Kagome, waving at them. Kikyo looked at Kagura's face to see Kagura frowning at him. Well, that was a nice change from Kagura's Kouga-Can-Do-No-Wrong demeanor. 

            "What the fuck was that about?" Inuyasha asked the three others that were still there. 

            "Quite possibly, he thinks your rather stunning adopted sister is hot." Miroku determined as though creating a hypothesis for a particularly complex experiment. 

            "Yeah right." Kagura seemed disbelieving. 

            "Yeah, he's not _you_." Inuyasha agreed with Kagura. "Fucking binge screwing master of the universe."

            "Excuse me, binge _screwing_?" Kikyo arched one dark eyebrow. 

            "Miroku has sex with a whole lot of people." Kagura explained.

            "Binge screwing?" Kikyo seemed unconvinced that this was an actual term.

            "Yeah, see, Kouga explained it to me." Kagura giggled at Kikyo's apprehension. Kikyo scowled as soon as Kouga's name was mentioned. "There's three ways to drown your sorrows, binge eating, binge drinking, and binge screwing." 

            "Drown your sorrows? What the fuck?" Inuyasha turned towards Miroku. "I thought you were just trying to get the most fucking STD's of anyone in the whole fucking school." 

            "Come on Kagura, we have class." Kikyo pulled slightly on the red-eyed girl's sleeve. 

            They left the two boys talking, Kagura wanted to stay for the argument and Kikyo vaguely curious about what Miroku might have to drown his sorrows for. That was really none of her business, nor did she want to make it her business. 

            Meanwhile, Miroku started to tell the story to Inuyasha.

            "You see, physical relationships don't really involve love." Miroku's face was surprisingly calm, almost bitterly so. "I fell in love once."

            "Um...'kay." Inuyasha looked rather perplexed. Since when was he Mr. Tell-Me-All-Your-Fucking-Problems? If Miroku wanted a hug, Inuyasha vowed he'd beat the crap out of him. Or run away. 

            "She broke my heart." Miroku declared. He laughed a little, a strange laugh that didn't sound like it went with Miroku's good-nature. "That's a funny saying, isn't it? But it's true. It'll never work again."

            "Dude, that's not a fucking _literal_ phrase." Inuyasha did _not _want to listen to some angsty-ass sob story; he didn't care if it was the explanation to the creation of the universe. Fuck that. "Stop being such a baby." With that, he turned the corner and walked off. Miroku stood there, staring off at him.

            _You know...in his own way..._

_            I think he just said something quite intelligent._

_            "Miroku...I'm sorry..."_

_            Funny, you apologized for what you destroyed. _

_            But have I forgiven you? I don't think so. _

_            Not when it still hurts as bad as it does._

_---------------_

            "Oh shit!" 

            Sesshomaru spun around. Rin was dancing around the kitchen with her finger in her mouth. She had obviously just burned her finger on her hot pocket. He immediately stirred her towards the sink. The fact that she burned herself concerned him, but something else concerned him more.

            Rin swore. 

            Now, granted, Sesshomaru had cussed a few times in his life, especially to people he greatly disliked, but usually he was very eloquent. Rin, who had always been polite, was never much of a cusser. But now that she hung out with Inuyasha so much, it had begun to slip out. 

            _He's a bad influence._

He could just imagine what Rin would have been like growing up with just Inuyasha, she would have sworn constantly and act like him.

            "I'm fine." Rin told him and pulled her hand away from his and the cool water. "It was just a hot pocket burn." Sesshomaru decided hot pockets were dangerous. "So guess what Inuyasha did?" 

            "What did Inuyasha do?" Sesshomaru didn't bother to hide the extreme exasperation in his voice. Everything was about Inuyasha now a day. 

            "He said he'd talk to the stage manager!" Rin clapped her hands together. "The stage manager practically begged me to work on crew. They already had a full one and I really wanted to work on the play." Sesshomaru saw visions of a rather terrified stage manager begging Rin in fear of Inuyasha killing him. It was all too probable. 

            And that was his job. He was the one who was going to have a little talk with this stage manager who wouldn't let Rin on the crew because she was a freshman. But Inuyasha had beaten him to it.

            Rin was _his _sister. 

            "That's nice." Sesshomaru wasn't sure what to say. He was trying to tread very carefully around the subject about what _he _thought about Inuyasha. He didn't want Rin to get upset with him. Lately, he had done everything he could to show Rin that he was the perfect brother to her. This included the buying of gifts because when he gave Rin something new, she would usually squeal with delight and then hug him. 

            Sesshomaru knew that Rin's affections could not be bought, she was much too intelligent for that thing but he felt like he had to. Plus, he loved to spoil her rotten. 

            "Um, Kishi-chan?" Sesshomaru blinked and almost stepped back in surprise as Rin was examining his face closely. 

            "Yes?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

            "Is something wrong?" Rin inquired. Sesshomaru hesitated a little. 

            "Rin, if you need help with something, I'd prefer it if you'd come to me." Sesshomaru finally answered in a cool tone. "I _am _your brother."

            "So is Inuyasha." Rin's mouth tightened slightly. Then she took a deep breath. "Sesshomaru…I don't want-"

            "I know." He tried to hide his face, which he knew probably looked sad. He turned away from her. "I know."

            "Sesshomaru, I didn't mean…" Rin put a hand on his shoulder. "Just because Inuyasha's my brother, doesn't mean you can't be too! You'll always be my onii-chan as well."

            "Rin." Sesshomaru grabbed her hand and suddenly pulled her against him. Then he folded his arms around her very gently, as though afraid she might break. "Rin…" And his mouth almost formed the words. Words that would tell Rin what he meant when he said that he loved her. 

            She was staring up at him with those bright eyes, her mouth slightly parted, almost as if she knew what was coming. 

            But he couldn't say it to her.

            He didn't deserve to be able to say it to her. Lately he had been making her unhappy…if Rin wasn't happy, Sesshomaru never could be. He would just have to try harder to make her happy. He took his arms away from her. 

            "Kishi-chan…" Rin looked worriedly at him. And then suddenly hugged him around the middle. "I hate it when you look so sad…it makes my heart want to break into a hundred tiny pieces…please…And if you need to hug me, that's okay, I want you to go ahead and hug me. No matter what."

            Sesshomaru wrapped his arms tightly around her, never wanting to let her go. Who was this girl who had wandered into his life and shown him the good things that were still left in the world? It was Rin.

            His Rin.

------------------

            "Do you want to go to the art museum?" Kikyo asked as they left school that day. Kagura was swinging her handbag and humming to herself a little. 

            "Now?" Kagura giggled. "I'm tired and it's Fridaaaaaaaay." She sang as if Kikyo had not realized this important, important fact.

            "I know that's its Friday." Kikyo rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about tomorrow. I didn't get very much homework this weekend, and neither did you, so it seemed natural that we go out and do something fun."

            "Okay!" Kagura agreed, hitting her fist on her palm. "Um…actually…"

            "What?" Kikyo turned towards her. 

            "I told Kouga I'd go help him buy some new clothes tomorrow." Kagura put up her hands in a shrugging manner, as if she couldn't have helped but forgotten it. "He said that I have really good taste and he'd like to dress as well as I do."

            "Silly me." Kikyo's voice sent shivers down Kagura's spine. "How could I have forgotten your plans with Kouga?"

            "Hey, Kikyo, what's wrong?" Kagura asked as if she really didn't know.

            "What's wrong?" Kikyo lifted her emotionless eyes towards Kagura. "Nothing. Go have fun tomorrow. And when you come back, I'll be there waiting for you, just like you want me to." 

            "Kikyo!" Kagura tried to stop her but Kikyo quickly got into her little black and white mini-cooper and drove off, leaving Kagura standing there. 

            _I have been forgetting Kikyo a lot…_

_            We haven't done anything together in awhile…_

_            Maybe…maybe she'd like to go along with me tomorrow? And then afterwards, we can all go to the museum. That could be fun._

_            Wouldn't that be nice? _

_            All three of us, having fun._

_            But Kikyo and Kouga don't get along._

_            If only Kikyo would give him a chance, I know she'd like him. _

Kagura trudged her way to her car and then slowly turned the key in the ignition before pulling out. 

            _But it would be perfect._

"I can't be depressed like this." Kagura said out loud determinedly. She pressed the button for the radio. All the way home she sang along with it at the top of her voice. Quickly she went inside.

            _Now, how to get Kikyo in a good mood…_

_            Make her tea!_

Kagura went about her way fixing the tea tray all up and putting some oatmeal cookies on it that had been made a couple of days ago. She carefully balanced her way up the stairs and then into the main room between her room and Kikyo's room. Kikyo was not in here. 

            _She's in her bedroom._

_            Great._

She opened the door and saw Kikyo there, wearing a long-sleeved sweater and sitting on her window seat with one leg stretched out and the other leg was bent. Her arms were crossed and she was staring out the window. Kagura smiled, she loved moments like these, where Kikyo seemed unaware of the world. But why did she always have to be so distant?

            But when Kikyo let you in, you were under her protection, she watched out for you, even if she seemed to do it all silently. She would do small things just for you, to show how much she cared. 

            _Lately…I've been taking Kikyo for granted…can I really blame her? _

"Kikyo?" Kagura stepped forward, closing the door behind her with her foot. Kikyo looked up at her with a solemn expression. "I…I made you tea." Kagura held out the tray like a peace offering. 

            "Thank you." Kikyo glanced back towards the window. Kagura sat on the window seat, leaning against the wall, so they were facing each other. She put the tray down in between the two of them.

            "Kikyo…I'm sorry." Kagura caught Kikyo's hand as the pale girl reached for the teapot. "I've been horrible, haven't I?"

            "There's nothing you can do that I can't forgive." Kikyo looked directly into her eyes. 

            "I know, you say that, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it." Kagura semi-smiled at her. "Besides, you shouldn't have to put up with half my crap."

            "It's okay, I'm used to it." Kikyo gave her a small teasing smile. 

            "So…maybe…I know you two don't get along…but maybe, we can go clothing shopping with Kouga and then we can all go to the art museum." Kagura's red eyes pleaded with Kikyo. 

            "I don't know." Kikyo once more glanced out the window. "Last spring, I sat by this window and watched a nest of birds. Two birds fell out of the nest. One died. The other one kept pecking and nudging at it for a couple of hours until the mother bird rescued it." 

            "That sounds really depressing." Kagura commented. 

            "It was." Kikyo looked so far away. "I think that eventually we have to face the fact that others move on."

            "What are you talking about?" Kagura questioned. 

            "You and Kouga have fun, right? I'd be the boring tag along." Kikyo took a sip of her tea. 

            "Don't you dare say that!" Kagura looked angry. "You tell me not to make myself sound worthless and all that but you can be such a hypocrite!" 

            "Isn't it true?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow a little. 

            "No." Kagura said so firmly that it surprised Kikyo. "No, you wouldn't be. I love you Kikyo, you could never be the boring tag along." 

            "Aren't you worried that Kouga and I will fight?" Kikyo asked, looking a whole lot happier then she did a few moments ago. 

            "Then we can ditch him." Kagura raised her teacup towards Kikyo. "Do you want to?" 

            "I think I could give it a try." Kikyo clinked her teacup up against Kagura's, careful not to spill any of the hot liquid. 

-----------------

            "So, see you tomorrow?" Kagome kissed Kouga on the cheek before starting to get out of his car. 

            "Yeah, definitely." Kouga winked at her. Kagome went whistling happily to herself as she walked into the house. Kouga had seemed a little weird today, though she couldn't really put her finger on it. Maybe she was just imagining things.

            She put a hand on the doorknob, hesitating for a moment. She could hear loud music which meant Inuyasha was home. The parents weren't home. What if they fought? Although she tried not to think about it, Kagome never forgot that horrible angry look in his eyes. 

            _We haven't fought since the Towel incident._

_            I mean, we'll just avoid each other, like usual._

Kagome confidently turned the doorknob and opened it, only to come face to face with Rin, the younger girl who had a wonderfully cheerful nature. It was hard to think that someone like that was Inuyasha's sister.

            "Hiiiiii!" Rin sang the greeting. 

            "Oh, hey Rin." Kagome smiled at her. "What are you doing here?"

            "Visiting Inuyasha." Rin explained as there was a loud burst of music, announcing that Inuyasha had opened his bedroom door. "He's burning me some of his favorite cds." 

            "That's cool. Do you want anything to drink?" Kagome offered on reflex.

            "Nah, I'm fine." Rin waved a hand airily. "Do you ever braid your hair Kagome? I think it would look super pretty!" 

            "Oh great, fucking slumber party is going on down here." Inuyasha was leaning over the banister on the stairs and looking sourly at Kagome. 

            "Sometimes." Kagome tried to ignore Inuyasha. She had to maintain composure, even though Rin had seen the two of them in an open brawl over a telephone. She really wanted to show Rin that she wasn't always like that. Inuyasha simply brought out the worst in her.

            "Is it okay if I hang out with Kagome for a little while?" Rin asked Inuyasha brightly. 

            "I guess." Inuyasha shrugged. "I'll finish burning these cds, okay?" 

            "Okay!" Rin tugged on Kagome's arm. "Can I see your room?" 

            "Not much to see." Kagome said modestly and led her upstairs into her room. Rin seemed to love it, or maybe it was just her regular enthusiasm for everything. 

            "Cool, you like the same anime that I do!" Rin looked excited. "My favorite is Cardcaptor Sakura." 

            "Yeah?" Kagome glanced at her Cardcaptor Sakura poster which featured Syaoran and Sakura. "I really like it too but my favorite is Escaflowne."

            "I didn't like the ending." Rin scrunched up her nose. "Heh, I guess I was hoping for a happy ending. Kishi-chan says I always want everyone to be happy. He watches Cardcaptor Sakura with me." 

            "He…does?" Kagome had the sudden mental image of Sesshomaru singing along to 'Catch You, Catch Me'. It made her shiver slightly. 

            "Yeah, he does everything with me." Rin told her as if that cleared up the whole matter. Kagome was still rather stuck on the thought of the white-haired man watching one of the more girly anime in existence. "Kagome?"

            "Yes?" Kagome sat down on her bed.

            "So, can I braid your hair?" Rin clapped her hands together pleadingly. 

            "If you want." Kagome grabbed her hair brush and a ponytail holder. Rin seemed excited about this. After a few moments, Rin cleared her throat.

            "So…do you and Inuyasha get along okay?" Rin asked, obviously knowing the answer. 

            "Um, not really." Kagome wasn't sure she wanted to discuss this. 

            "That's really sad." Rin stopped brushing for a moment before going on. "He's really nice. He really is. I mean, he can seem mean, but really deep down, he's always looking out for the people he cares about."

            _This girl may be the only one who can talk about Inuyasha like that._

_            Rin's known him longer then I have, I suppose. She remembers him from way back before the orphanage. _

_            Was he different?_

"Inuyasha and I have never really gotten along." Kagome looked down at her hands. "It's not something new."

            "It's too bad." Rin sounded wistful. "I can tell that you're both good people and good people should get along."

            "I'm not sure that's always the case." Kagome wished she could turn to see Rin. "Do you and Sesshomaru always get along?"

            "Well, not always." Rin admitted. "We did have some fights about Inuyasha. But we've made up. Sesshomaru has always been there for me when I really needed him." 

            "It's amazing to think that a guy like that can be so caring for one person." Kagome speculated. "Not that he seems bad but…you know, he seems a little anti-social." 

            "But maybe if you and Inuyasha were a little nicer to each other…" Rin trailed off and Kagome could almost see her biting her lip. "Maybe you could see things from each other's perspectives." 

            "It's a little complicated." Kagome wished she could explain it. Rin finished braiding her hair. Kagome turned to thank her but Rin was reaching for the picture frame on Kagome's bedside table. Kagome didn't stop her, even though she knew what was coming.

            Rin stared at it for a few moments. "Who is this boy?" 

            "My brother. He died years ago. His name was Souta." Kagome looked at the picture sadly. 

            "Oh." Rin seemed to understand. "Did your parents…adopt Inuyasha after he died?"

            "Yes." Kagome took the picture from her gently and placed it on the bedside table. 

            "That would be hard." Rin seemed to be sympathizing. "I remember, when I met my new parents, I wanted to hate them. I thought they were trying to replace my parents who died and I wanted to hate Sesshomaru too. But then I realized that they couldn't replace them, but they could help heal that hurt for me. Sesshomaru isn't a replacement for Inuyasha; he's just my other big brother." 

            "It's just different." Kagome wasn't sure if she was arguing with Rin or not. "I mean, Inuyasha and I have been fighting for a long time."

            "It's never too late." Rin gave her a bright look. 

            "Can I braid your hair?" Kagome asked. "You know, return the favor?" 

            "Okay!" Rin happily settled down and Kagome braided her hair into two pigtails. They talked about other things, the small time talk that girls got themselves into easily. Kagome felt herself thinking about what Rin had said. 

            _Inuyasha's not a replacement…_

_            But how can he help with my pain?_

When they finished, Inuyasha came into the room. 

            "Are you two done?" Inuyasha asked, looking at their hair as if they might attack him and put his hair in pigtails. 

            "Yep!" Rin practically glomped Inuyasha. "Do you like my pigtails? Kagome's really good with hair!" 

            "I guess." Inuyasha shrugged. "They aren't hideous." 

            "Real nice." Kagome rolled her eyes. 

            "Fuck, I wasn't insulting them or anything." Inuyasha got all defensive. Rin got a worried and pensive look on her face. 

            "I didn't say you were." Kagome looked away. That's when the doorbell rang. Luckily, Inuyasha's music was off so they could hear it. 

            "I'll go get it." Inuyasha volunteered and went downstairs. They heard some sounds of two people talking but they couldn't make out a word they were saying. Rin got up and Kagome followed her. They arrived in time to see Inuyasha and Sesshomaru in a glaring contest. 

            "Kishi-chan!" Rin ran down the stairs and hugged him while Inuyasha snickered as quietly as possible. "Do you like my pigtails? Kagome did them!" 

            "They're wonderful." Sesshomaru told her, affectionately tugging on one. Then he cleared his throat and tried to look much more dignified.

            "Here's the cds." Inuyasha gave the cds to Rin, who immediately hugged him in thanks. "Smash is like the best one, but Splinter is also really good."

            "Cool!" Rin began thumbing through them. "Can we listen to them on our way home? Please, please?"

            "Fine." Sesshomaru sighed. "Are we leaving?"

            "Good-bye Inuyasha! Good-bye Kagome." Rin smiled brightly before turning and following Sesshomaru out the door. 

            There were a few moments of silence as it dawned on Inuyasha and Kagome that they were the only two people around. Kagome said the first thing that came to mind. 

            "Your sister is really nice." Kagome told him.

            "Yeah, I don't think she knows how to be mean." Inuyasha replied. It was a bit hard to think that they were having an almost normal conversation, besides the fact that they were looking at each other warily. "Uh, thanks."

            "Thanks?" Kagome was utterly confused by this.

            "For, ya' know…hanging out with her. And stuff. Doing all that girly crap." Inuyasha wasn't even looking at Kagome, but seemed to be fascinated with something in the opposite direction. "I know she likes that kind of stuff…and, yeah, I don't really…"

            "You aren't really into styling hair?" Kagome supplied. 

            "Yeah." Inuyasha agreed. "I mean, I bet fucking _Kishi-chan _let's her put up his hair all pretty and shit but you won't catch me dead doing that."

            "Well, you do have really long hair." Kagome pointed out. "Do you ever pull it back? You know, ponytails are pretty unisex, and so are single braids, like this." She indicated her own braid. 

            "I'd be bad at it." Inuyasha shook his head. 

            "If you want…I could…show you." Kagome offered him. Inuyasha looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights. 

            "Um…" Inuyasha seemed to be trying to process this. "I guess." 

            "Here, I'll get my stuff." Kagome ran up the stairs went to go get some ponytail holders and her hair brush. Then she went and found Inuyasha in his room. 

            "You're not going to like put ribbons in it or anything, right?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously.

            "No, I brought black ponytail holders; you won't even be able to see them." Kagome assured him. "Okay, so first you should brush out all your hair so it looks nice and smooth." Inuyasha just made a weird grumbling noise as she went about brushing it out. Inuyasha had a ton of hair and so this took quite some time. 

            "Then you pull it all back with one hand and sort of smooth it like this with the other one." Kagome smoothed his hair into a very loose ponytail but then Inuyasha insisted she leave the two sections that hung down in front of his ears. ("They're fucking cool.") 

            When she was finished, Inuyasha went into the bathroom to look at his reflection. 

            "Well, s'not terrible." Inuyasha gave it one of his higher statements of praise. "I don't look stupid, right?" Inuyasha came out of the bathroom. 

            "No, you look fine." Kagome shook her head. Was it possible that they could be around each other and not fight at all? 

            "Hey kids, I'm home!" Noduko called out as she came in. "I've got groceries I could use some help with."

            "Coming!" Kagome and Inuyasha called back together. They looked at each other and for a split second looked surprised before actually smiling at each other. 

------------------

            "Hello?" Kouga called into the huge house. One of the maids had let him in and told him the girls were upstairs. Looking into the huge house, he decided that really didn't narrow it down. He went up the stairs slowly.

            "We're in here!" Kagura's head popped out of a door. "Come on in, I just have to do a couple more things and then we can go." 

            "Okay." Kouga walked into the room where Kagura was bouncing around getting her purse and stuff while Kikyo seemed to be playing on a Gameboy. There was something oddly familiar about that Gameboy. "Is that…my old Gameboy?"

            "Hmm?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow but didn't look up from Tetris. 

            "No, silly." Kagura rolled her eyes. Kikyo set down the Gameboy and Kouga spied his own name written in sharpie on it. How weird. "Anyways, Kikyo's coming with us and we're going to an art museum."

            _Shit._

_            Not part of the plan._

_            If only I could think of some good way of ditching Kikyo._

"Alright." Kouga gave Kikyo a winning smile which the stoic girl did not return. All three of them went down to Kouga's car with Kagura in the passenger seat and Kikyo in the back. 

            The day went fairly smoothly. Kikyo wasn't much into clothing shopping and sat in on of the chairs next to Kagura who was directing the whole thing and picking out all the clothes. Kouga kept protesting that he didn't have enough money but Kagura told him to shut up and that she'd pay for it. 

            Of course, it turned out that art museums weren't Kouga's favorite thing in the whole world. Even though Kagura had told her she wasn't a tag along, Kikyo felt that way. Kagura kept suddenly turning and hugging Kikyo. Kikyo just glared at Kouga most of the time as he pretended he had no idea why there would be any ill will between them.

            _How can she be so blind to it?_

_            It's obvious…it's all an act._

She watched the two of them as they giggled about some joke Kouga had made.

            _Though I wonder, does Kouga realize that not everything he is doing is an act?_

_--------------------_

            "What the fuck is eating you?" Inuyasha asked as he sat down next to Kikyo at lunch, nudging her. "Hey, where's Kagura?" It was so weird to see only one of them that the theme to the Twilight Zone started to play in his head. 

            "She went off campus with Kouga." Kikyo said bitterly. Saturday had been okay and a little fun but she hated the way she had been forgotten again.

            "Wanna team up and take him out?" Inuyasha offered and Kikyo smiled a little.

            "I think I'll pass for now. Besides, I'm starting to think of a plan." Kikyo opened her specially prepared bento box. There was a note attached to it. 

            _Hey Kikyo-_

_                        I made your lunch today, so you better turn and thank me. Just kidding._

_                                    Love,_

_                                      Kagura_

At the bottom of the note was a super-deformed sketch of Kagura giving a peace sign, a small touch that only Kagura would put on something.

            "Thanks." Kikyo murmured.

            "What?" Inuyasha said around a mouthful of food. 

            "Nothing, so why don't you like Kouga?" Kikyo inquired.

            "I just don't trust the guy." Inuyasha folded his arms. "He was always a bit damn _peaky _when we lived in the orphanage and now he's Mr. Suave-Sophisticated-Mother-Fucking-Player-Boy, always taking Kagome out on dates and not it looks like he's also dating Kagura."

            "Wait, what?" Kikyo grabbed his arm.

            "He's always taking out Kagome-" Inuyasha cut himself off as Kikyo's eyes lit up in excitement and she gripped his arms. 

            "It's perfect." Kikyo looked like a kid in a candy shop, something that scared and disturbed Inuyasha very badly. "Inuyasha, I'm going to need your help."

            "You _need _help." Inuyasha looked perturbed. "What do I have to do?"

            "Very little if all goes to plan." Kikyo felt a grin tugging at her lips.

----------------

            "I thought we'd eat here instead of out." Kouga opened the door for Kagura and then proceeded to walk into the house after her. 

            "Nice place." Kagura smiled but still felt uneasy. Maybe she should have stayed at the school and eaten with Kikyo and Inuyasha.

            _Kikyo's fine by herself. Don't worry about it._

"Thanks." Kouga gave her an odd look. "Is something wrong Kagura?"

            _"Don't you see it Kagura? Look passed appearances, think of what you know."_

_            Why do I feel so confused?_

_            Is Kikyo right? _

_            But how could she be?_

"No, sorry, I was just thinking." Kagura shook her head. Kouga bit his lip apprehensively. "What's up Kouga?"

            "Well…the truth is…" Kouga hesitated. "I _have _been lying to you Kagura." 

            "You…you have?" Kagura felt her eyes go round. What was this all of a sudden? Had he been lying to her? 

            "I told you that I wanted to be friends and that's not true." Kouga looked down; hanging his head and reminded Kagura of the boy she used to pick on. 

            _Wait, he doesn't want to be friends? _

_            But then…he never really liked me…he hated me once, didn't he?_

_            "One day I'll get you back!"_

_            Kikyo…where are you?_

"I don't want to be friends, there's only one thing I want." Kouga moved toward her, sliding an arm around her waist and tilting her chin up.

            He pressed his lips hungrily against hers. He pushed her up against a wall, still kissing her, and it was all Kagura could do to push away from him. She wasn't sure if she wanted to stop him or not.

            "I-I…I don't understand." Kagura stammered, not being able to think intelligently as she stared into the cobalt blue eyes.

            "I love you Kagura." Kouga told her. "And now I can't let you go." He bent to kiss her again but she stopped him.

            "Wait…" Kagura murmured. "How can you love me?"

            "I just can." Kouga stopped trying to kiss her and wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her against his body. "Kagura, do we have to go back to school? I just want to stay here like this." Kouga whispered into her ear.

            "But Kikyo-" Kagura began but was cut off.

            "Kikyo…Kikyo doesn't have to know." Kouga breathed her smell, a mixture of rose oil and a pleasant shampoo.

            _"We're sisters first, everything else is second."_

_            "Kagura, I love you."_

_            "Don't leave me."_

_            And yet…_

_            "I love you Kagura."_

_            "Kikyo doesn't have to know."_

_            I want to stay here with him._

She turned to look at him, confusion clouding her garnet eyes. And he kissed her, her confusion dissolved into more kisses that made her forget her thoughts, her reservations. She realized only briefly that they were in Kouga's bedroom and that after a bit, they were both naked.

            She let him in while in her cloud of unknowing. It was blissful forgetting the world existed and letting him move in her. Sticky sweat began to coat them and when it was over, she lay there, entangled in his arms. He slept and she lay there weeping as she realized what she had done.

            Kagura had betrayed Kikyo, who loved her and believed in her and her alone.

-------------------

            "Where is she?" Kikyo frowned, she hadn't seen Kagura all day, and she hadn't seen her in any of their classes together. It was rather weird. Kikyo shrugged and decided to go home, noting that Kagura's mini-cooper was gone. 

            When she got there, she put the kettle on the oven to heat up some water for some tea. It was raining outside and rather cold. That's when someone knocked on the door. That was a little weird, Kikyo didn't know that anybody was coming and went to the door. 

            Kikyo opened the front door to see Kagura standing there, looking down as though she was some lowly being, not fit to look Kikyo in the eyes.

            "Kagura-" Kikyo began.

            "I-I'm sorry!" Kagura threw her arms around the startled young woman. "I'm sorry I did this."

            "Did what?" Kikyo put her arms around Kagura in an attempt to comfort the hysterical girl.

            Kagura just held onto the dark-haired girl and didn't say a word. Kikyo wracked her brains, what could Kagura possibly have done?

            "Kikyo, you'll never forgive me…" Kagura cried.

            "There is nothing you could do that I couldn't forgive." Kikyo told her straight-out, wondering how many times she would have to tell the red-eyed girl that.

            "I-I…" Kagura choked a little. "Kouga…He said….and I…"

            "Kouga." Kikyo's eyes narrowed immediately. "What did he do?"

            "I'm just as guilty." Kagura said into Kikyo's shoulder.

            "Guilty? You…" Kikyo was starting to put two and two together. "Kagura, why don't you just say it?"

            "I slept with him." Kagura looked up for a minute at Kikyo's stunned expression before turning and running into the rain. 

            "Kagura!" Kikyo felt as though someone had stabbed her. Away, Kagura was running away. Away from her and all that much closer to Kouga.

            _It's what he wants._

_            He manipulated her into bed…_

_            Kagura twirled in her new white nightgown, the two of them too excited to sleep during their first night. _

_            Their first kiss at sixteen…_

_            Kikyo braiding Kagura's hair_

Pure, sweet memories, tainted by Kouga.Kikyo's fists clenched and then she ran after Kagura, who stumbled and fell into a broken, crying heap.

            "Kagura." Kikyo spoke the name in a stern manner. "Get up. What did I just say? There's nothing you could do that I wouldn't forgive." Kikyo repeated. Kagura cried even harder and Kikyo put her arms around her. "Come on, it's cold out here." 

            Kagura had to be half-carried into the house where Kikyo started a fire in the fireplace and took the screaming tea kettle off the burner and poured tea for her and Kagura, carrying it to Kagura on a tray. Kagura was sitting in front of the fireplace, in the room that connected their huge bedrooms, a blanket wrapped around her.

            Kikyo set the tray down and was taking the cups and saucers off when Kagura spoke.

            "I don't deserve you." Kagura's words made Kikyo slam down a cup and saucer, splashing some burning liquid on her hand. She ignored the slight pain. 

            "Now you're going to wallow in self-pity?" Kikyo asked angrily. "It's over and done with." 

            "But I liked it!" Kagura shook her head miserably. "I wanted him to…I…I still do."

            "Kagura, we're sisters first." Kikyo sat down next to her, looking away because she couldn't bear showing Kagura her tears. "Everything else doesn't matter. If you don't love me like that, it doesn't matter to me. Just be my sister."

            "No, I do still love you; I want to be with you Kikyo." Kagura grabbed Kikyo's hands. "But…"

            "A part of you wants to be with him." Kikyo finished and Kagura nodded before laying her head in Kikyo's hands.

            "I think I love him Kikyo." 

            Kikyo ignored her heart breaking in two.

------------------------

            "You look a little weird." Kagome commented over the table at Kouga.

            "Er, sorry, I think the teachers overloaded me with work today." Kouga tried to laugh it away.

            "Meiko said you weren't in your last period." Kagome remembered what her friend had said. "I thought you might have been sick."

            _"Kagura? Where are you going?" Kagura hurriedly got dressed as Kouga watched._

_            "I…I have to go see Kikyo." Kagura tried to get her shoes on quickly._

_            "Why? Stay here with me." Kouga pulled her towards him and she wrenched away. _

_            "You don't understand!" Kagura looked at him with tears in her eyes. "She's…I love her." And Kagura ran away. _

_            She'll turn you away when she finds out._

_            And then you'll only have one place to run to._

_            Tears in her eyes…_

_            I hate her and the way she treated me._

_            But now she's fallen for me and I'll break her…_

_            Tears in her eyes…_

_            Somehow, it's not as satisfying as I thought it would be._

_            What's this feeling?_

"Kouga?" Kagome looked concerned.

            "Oh, ah, I've been spacing off all day. I'm sorry Kagome." Kouga put on a reassuring smile. "You were saying?"

            "Meiko said you weren't in class." Kagome repeated.

            "Yeah, I went home 'cause I had this really bad headache." Kouga quickly lied.

            "Should we skip the movie and just call it a night if you aren't feeling well?" Kagome bit her lip. If she went home…after a date with Kouga, would it tip the delicate balance her and Inuyasha had discovered? Would there be any fighting?

            "No, I'm fine." Kouga waved the suggestions before checking his watch. "Oh, speaking of the movie, we better finish up if we're going to make it." 

            "Ahh!" Kagome looked at her half-finished plate in dismay. "Do you mind if I get a doggy bag?"

            "Not a problem." After they got a doggy bag and Kouga paid, they headed to the movie theater. During the romantic-comedy movie Kagome insisted on seeing, Kouga put his arm around Kagome's shoulders, only to move it when he found himself thinking about Kagura instead of paying attention to the movie.

            _What's wrong with me?_

As he kissed Kagome goodnight at her door, he saw for a moment, not beautiful blue eyes but tear-filled dark red eyes.

            _"You don't understand!"_

_            "I love her!"_

"Kouga-" Kagome began to say.

            "No, sorry, I-I'm not feeling well. I'll call you tomorrow." Kouga gave her a brief smile before leaving a confused Kagome standing on her doorstep. She braced herself as she opened the door, but Inuyasha wasn't waiting for her. She shrugged before going upstairs.

            As she walked by his room, she saw him lying on his bed, staring at a photograph he held in his hand. 

            "Inuyasha?" Kagome started hesitantly and Inuyasha jumped and shoved the photograph under his pillow. 

            "What?" Inuyasha snapped. Then he saw her. "Oh, it's you." 

            "Well sorry." Kagome rolled her eyes. "What's that you've got stashed under your pillow?"

            It's just a photo from when I was in the orphanage." Inuyasha shrugged.

            "Really? Let me see!" Kagome came into the room and sat down on the bed.

            "Fine, whatever." Inuyasha got the photo, making it sound stupid and waste of time.

            "Hey, you were a cute little kid!" Kagome exclaimed as she looked at it. Inuyasha looked irritated in the picture, but the one in real life was blushing and scowling.

            "Who are these other people?" Kagome's eyes moved over to a pair of girls, one emotionless with a small hint of a smile and the other with her arm around her smiling brilliantly. Kagome noticed the second girl's blood red eyes. "Is that…Kagura and Kikyo?"

            "Yeah." Inuyasha confirmed.

            "I didn't know you guys were all at the same orphanage together." Kagome went to the last person in the photo, a scrawny, slightly unkempt boy with big thick glasses and he was looking at the small Kagura with a studious and enigmatic gaze. "Who's this?"

            "Kouga." Inuyasha told her.

            "Kouga?!" Kagome checked the picture and noticed that he had the same wildly blue eyes. "He sure has changed."

            "Maybe in looks but he's still just as annoying." Inuyasha muttered. "It's no wonder Kagura was always giving him shit. She was a little vicious sometimes but mostly, it's what the guy needed."

            "Kagura was a bully?" Kagome was really interested now.

            "A little." Inuyasha shrugged. "Kikyo and her would double-team him." 

            "That's weird, I thought him and Kagura were friends." Kagome commented.

            "Especially with him and her skipping school today together." Inuyasha grumbled. "I think it's pissing Kikyo off."

            "They skipped school together? But Kouga said he went home with a headache." Kagome's brow furrowed. Then she immediately stopped talking. Inuyasha would surely try to start an argument over it.

            Instead she felt a hesitant hand on her back and Inuyasha sat right next to her.

            "Hey, um, are you okay?" Inuyasha asked her in a slightly rough but quiet voice.

            "I'm fine, I was just thinking." Kagome smiled at him shyly. "So, uh, how's Rin?"

            "She's fine. She's really smart, a lot smarter than I am." Inuyasha spoke proudly. "I miss her, even though I see her a lot. We were really close, you know?"

            "It must be hard." Kagome patted his other hand comfortingly. 

            "Sometimes." Inuyasha looked distant. "Like when we fight…it makes it harder…"

            "Because you remember having a sibling around." Kagome finished as they both looked up at each other. In that moment, they understood each other.

            "I remember the night before we were separated, Rin and I slept in the same bed because we were fighting it but I think we both knew." Inuyasha closed his eyes. "But you wouldn't care if we were separated because you hate me."

            "I was angry sometimes about how my brother died. I never really gave you a chance." Kagome remarked sadly. Then she felt his arm move to around her shoulders and her head lay against him. 

            "I think I did the same thing." Inuyasha closed his eyes. Kagome felt her eyes close she became so warm and sleepy that she didn't want to get up. 

            And Inuyasha didn't her to either.

--------------------

            Okay, careful." Noduko whispered conspiratorially to her husband as he lifted up the digital camera. Neither wanted to wake the sleeping teenagers.

            "Get ready to run…" Their father lifted the camera. "1…2…3…RUN!" The camera flashed and the two took off as Inuyasha and Kagome both woke up. They had fallen asleep and were entangled with each other.

            "Wha…?" Kagome's face grew red as the whole situation dawned on her. Inuyasha and she were standing several feet from each other only a few moments later.

            "I saw a flash." Kagome tried to think of what it was.

            "The camera!" Inuyasha whirled and the two ran through the house.

            "Ha, your father left with it." Noduko teased them.

            "No, how could you take a picture of me and her-" Inuyasha was cut off.

            "It was so darling, you two being so close." Noduko sighed in happiness. "Breakfast you two."

            The two sighed as they retired to their seats, not being able to look at the other at all.

-----------------

            It was Saturday evening and Rin had finally gotten out of play practice. It seemed like either was never going to come that evening. There was so much chaos going on offstage and onstage that she wondered if the play would really be ready on time. Maybe if the main actors in the play weren't caught up in some love polygon. 

            Rin skipped with her bottle of Raspberry Nestea through the grounds to the corner where Sesshomaru would be waiting. He had a night class that ended at the same time but he would leave early or speed.

            _I don't see why. At least he doesn't wait in his car after he's dropped me off. I want him to do what he needs to._

Rin turned the corner, deciding to take a shortcut through the bus lane to get to the parking lot. She realized it was pretty dark and she was a little nervous and hesitant. 

            _No big deal, just the dark._

She kept walking down the sidewalk of the deserted bus lane. She heard footsteps behind her. Was somebody from practice walking this way too? She turned to see them.

            Suddenly she was knocked over as something heavy jumped on her. It was a man that tried to get a hold of her but Rin twisted away and began to run. The man came right after her.

            "Somebody help!" Rin called out as she tried to outrun the man.

            He caught her wrist and pulled her back sharply, causing her to fall and hit her head. The man slapped her across the face before hitting her repeatedly. Rin screamed and cried but no one came. Then he ripped open her shirt and began to put his hands all over her body.

            "Sesshomaru!" Rin yelled in the vain hope that he would hear her.

            _Where are you?_

The pain was unbearable and Rin squeezed her eyes shut and cried while the man raped her.

-----------------

            Sesshomaru pressed the gas pedal even harder. His instructor kept him afterwards just to tell him he was doing great in the class. Now he was late picking up Rin.

            He pulled into the high school parking lot but there was no sign of Rin. That was odd. Maybe play practice was staying late? He waited and waited, his mind trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for Rin not being there. That's when he made out a shape that was moving slowly towards the car. It finally came out into the streetlight.

            Sesshomaru's eyes widened.

            _No…_

He hurried out of his car and ran towards the person. Just as they fainted in exhaustion, Sesshomaru caught them.

            Rin lay in his arms, naked, bruised, and bleeding.

            He wrapped her up in his black trench coat and carried her to car where he gently put her in the front seat and buckled her in. The drive to the hospital was one of the longest and tedious in his life. Sesshomaru didn't care how many traffic law he broke. He finally arrived and took Rin into the emergency room.

            "Omigod." The nurse behind the counter remarked as she saw Rin.

            "Something happened to her, I need a doctor." Sesshomaru told her in a commanding tone and the nurse nodded as she took her into a room and laid her down.

            "Um, sir," The nurse began nervously. "You really shouldn't be back here-"

            "I'm her brother." Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed.

            "Ah." The nurse nodded. "Sorry, thought you were her boyfriend. Could you fill out some papers?" 

            "Yes, fine, where's the doctor?" Sesshomaru couldn't believe the incompetence the _hospital _was showing.

            "On his way sir." The nurse handed him a clipboard.

            "Ungh…" Rin groaned as her eyes opened. She sat up quickly and seemed frightened.

            "Rin." Sesshomaru dropped the clipboard and rushed to her. Rin looked down at herself. And then she began to scream. Sesshomaru reached out towards her but she batted his hand away in her hysterics.

            Nurses and doctors rushed in and began calming her down, trying to get to say what had happened but all she did was cry.

            They tried to ask Sesshomaru but he stood there staring at Rin and knowing he could do nothing. Rin was trying to twist away from the nurses and began calling for Sesshomaru.

            _It was like this wasn't it?_

_            Some monster attacked you and you called for me and called for me and I didn't come…_

He rushed forward as she called his name and when her eyes focused on him, she stopped moving and yelling. She just stared at him as tears flowed down her cheeks.

            "Sess…ho…maru…" And her eyes closed again and he caught her again, laying her gently down. The doctor took over again and Sesshomaru called his parents. Then after hanging up, he stared at his phone for a few minutes. He dialed another number.

------------------

            "Who could be calling right now?" Kagome picked up the phone. "Higurashi residence, Kagome speaking." 

            "Is Inuyasha there?" A deep male voice asked.

            "I think so, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled into the house. "Your boyfriend's on the phone!"

            "Tell Miroku to fuck off!" The yell came down the stairs. 

            "I don't think its Miroku." Kagome called back up. Inuyasha came grumbling down the stairs about how he didn't have a boyfriend and it better _not _be Miroku. Kagome sat down at the table where she was doing homework.

            "Yeah?" Inuyasha picked up the phone. "What the fuck do you want? What?!" Kagome looked up as Inuyasha's face became a mixture of anger and upset. "What hospital? I'll be there in five minutes." And he hung up.

            "What was that-" Kagome began to ask.

            "I can't talk, Rin's in the hospital." Inuyasha was already leaving the room. 

            "What?" Kagome stood up in concern and surprise. "I'm coming with you." 

            "Let's go then." Inuyasha snapped impatiently and together they headed towards the hospital.

------------------

            "I'm looking for Tsuzuki Rin's room." Inuyasha yelled at the nurse behind the desk.

            "Room 201 but sir-" The nurse's words were cut off as Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's hand and they rushed towards the elevator. Inuyasha was extremely impatient and began cursing about how slow elevators were. They burst out of the elevator and ran into Rin's hospital room.

            It had taken them half an hour to get to the hospital because they hadn't known exactly where it was. In that time Rin had been doing a few tests and was then moved to a different room where she was sitting p and making a sound. From the streaks across her face, they could tell she had been crying besides the huge bruise on her cheek, a lip that had been bleeding, besides her arms and hands which had some bandages on them. 

            "Rin!" Inuyasha nearly shoved Sesshomaru was sitting in a chair aside. "Rin, who the fuck did this to you?"

            "Don't upset her." Sesshomaru stood up and his face was expressionless but his yellow eyes never left Rin.

            "Inuyasha?" Rin turned towards him and then threw her arms around him. "Inuyasha…"

            "Maybe I should-" Kagome started to move towards the door.

            "Stay." Inuyasha ordered. "You're my sister too, that practically makes you her sister."

            "Inuyasha, I was so scared." Rin tightened her hold on her brother. 

            "It's okay now." Inuyasha brow furrowed as he held onto her. "I'm right here." They hugged for a few moments before Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

            "If I might speak to Inuyasha outside for a moment…" Sesshomaru trailed off. 

            "I'll stay in here with Rin." Kagome volunteered immediately.

            "Okay." Inuyasha got up. "Just hang out with Kagome, okay?" 

            "Alright." Rin turned towards Kagome. "Hello Kagome."

            "Hey, Rin, what's up?" Kagome smiled weakly at the girl. It was amazing how she could still seem somewhat cheerful, even though something terrible had happened. 

            Outside the room, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha were talking. 

            "Rin was attacked by some man when she got out of play practice." Sesshomaru began but Inuyasha broke in.

            "I'll fucking kill him!" Inuyasha did look ready to kill somebody. "Beating the shit out of Rin, what the hell is wrong with him?"

            "She wasn't just beaten…she was raped." Sesshomaru said the word as though it was causing him physical pain. 

            "WHAT?! I'll fucking rip off his fucking-" 

            "Shhh, if she hears you, it'll only upset her more." Sesshomaru tried to quiet the angry young man. "I called you because I knew you could comfort her."

            "Oh…" Inuyasha looked surprised. "Thanks for calling me. I'm going to fucking hunt down the bastard that did this and kill him as slowly as possible. I'll get fucking _Kikyo _to help me." He remembered the various times Kikyo had scared him with threats. 

            "The police are already looking for him." Sesshomaru informed him. "However, if you were to meet the man, who did this, I'll expect you to return the favor and call me."

            "Fuck yeah!" Inuyasha agreed. "This is fucking…shit…why Rin? Why fucking Rin?" 

            "I don't know." Sesshomaru sighed. "We should probably go back in there." 

            _I couldn't be there for her…_

_            Do I really deserve to be near her?_

_-------------------_

            "Come on, fucking pick up." Kouga cursed into the phone as he listened to Kagura's voice mail message for the three-hundredth time that day. 

            "Hey, this is everyone's favorite Kagura here, and I'm not here because I'm too busy being fawned over, so please, leave a worshipping prayer to me, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." Then there was a beep. He was going to leave the eleventh message today.

            "Kagura? Are you there? You always have your cell phone with you! Look, I really want to talk to you." Kouga knew she couldn't hear the voice mail but it was worth a try. He hung up again.

            _What the hell is going on?_

The phone rang and he sprang on it. 

            "Hello?" He asked breathlessly.

            "Hey." Kagura's voice sounded small. 

            "Kagura, why haven't you called me or anything? I kept calling." Kouga asked her immediately. 

            "I don't know." Kagura sighed over the phone. "Kikyo knows. I told her." 

            "And?" Kouga tried to sound concerned rather then smug because he knew Kikyo had probably reacted just the way he had predicted.

            "She…she forgave me…" Kagura's voice cracked. 

            _She did not! There's no way!_

_            That's not part of the plan. Kikyo was supposed to turn her away._

_            Was I wrong? Has Kikyo done the opposite?_

_            Shit, oh well, it's only a matter of time._

"So…what does that mean?" Kouga asked and was surprised how vulnerable he sounded. "What does that mean for us?"

            "I don't know…" Kagura sounded as though she were miserably confused. 

            _Good. _

_            Cause that's what I wanted._

_            I wanted her to be miserable._

"Kagura…" Kouga trailed off.

            "I want to see you again…but I feel so horrible. Kikyo forgave me and I love her…but…but I don't know. I love you too." Kagura admitted. 

            _How does it feel, Kagura?_

"You…you do?" Kouga was a little shocked at the same time. Was Kagura really capable of such a thing? 

            "I…I don't know." Kagura sighed again. "I don't know what to do, I'm so confused."

            "Is Kikyo there?" Kouga asked.

            "Yes, she's in the other room." Kagura told him. "Listen, I'll see you on Monday, alright?"

            "I want to talk to you, face to face." Kouga protested. 

            "Not right now." Kagura whispered. "Please, I'll see you on Monday." 

            "Okay." Kouga sighed before he heard the clicking noise of Kagura's phone. Great. Now that that wasn't going at all how he wanted it to. He really felt as though it were integral to the plan to see Kagura again.

            _And plus…I mean, the sex was nice._

He formed a plan to see Kagura before Monday, it was sure to work out. 

----------------------

            "Are you coming Kikyo?" Kagura yelled from her bedroom where her door was open.

            "Yes, I'm changing." Kikyo called back. They were getting ready for bed. Kagura turned her back from the door and waited. Suddenly two arms wrapped around her. 

            "Heh, Kikyo, you sure are huggy today." Kagura giggled before turning to see the person who was holding her was not Kikyo. It was Kouga. "K-Kouga!" 

            "What?" Kikyo called back. 

            "Uh nothing!" Kagura ran and closed her door, leaning up against it and looking at Kouga. "What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"

            "Snuck in." Kouga tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. "Listen, I wanted to-"

            "Kagura?" Kikyo knocked on the door softly. "Can I come in?"

            "Um, I'm not feeling very well all of a sudden. I threw up." Kagura made up quickly. "You better not sleep with me tonight, you might get sick too."

            "Do you want me to get you anything?" Kikyo asked. 

            "No, no, I'll probably just throw it up." Kagura lied quickly. 

            "Alright." They listened to Kikyo walk away from the door. 

            "Omigod, what are you doing here?" Kagura asked him. "It's not that I didn't want to see you but Kikyo…"

            "I don't care about Kikyo." Kouga shook his head. "I just wanted to come see you."

            "But if Kikyo finds out that you're here…" Kagura looked at the door nervously. Kouga gave her a slightly pitiful look. "Just, okay, I know we should talk." Kagura sat down on the bed and gestured for Kouga to sit down as well. 

            "So…you love me? But you love Kikyo?" Kouga tried to puzzle it out. 

            "Yes." Kagura nodded her head. "I know that sounds weird but I just don't know…I don't know if…"

            "Come here." Kouga held out his arms and Kagura leaned into them, letting Kouga hold her. "I'm just happy seeing you. I wonder if Kikyo loves you as much as you love her?" 

            "Of course she does!" Kagura protested immediately. 

            "And if she had done what you done, could you forgive her?" Kouga asked, his voice soft and caring, as though he were only watching out for her interests. But that wasn't true. 

            "Yes, yes I could." Kagura decided. "Wouldn't it be hypocritical to not forgive her?" 

            "Would it hurt you?" Kouga pressed on. 

            "Yes, but then, I think it hurt her." Kagura thought back to the sad expression on Kikyo's face. 

            "Kagura, I brought you some-" Kikyo came into the room. Kouga had tightened his hold on Kagura who was staring at Kikyo with large wide eyes. Kikyo was staring right back, holding a cup of some steaming liquid. "Oh, I didn't realize I was interrupting." With that, she turned and left.

            "Kikyo!" Kagura leapt out of Kouga's arms and ran after Kikyo. But by the time she made it to the living room, Kikyo's door was closing behind her.

            _"Can't you see I'm busy?"_

_            "Can't you do something with her?"_

_            Always…always there were doors separating us…_

_            There will always be doors…can anyone really love me? _

Kouga was standing in the doorway of Kagura's room. Kagura turned from him to Kikyo's closed door and then fell to her knees in confusion. Tears were streaming down her face. 

            _I'm selfish._

Inside her room, Kikyo set the tray down. She tried to calm herself but somehow, the sight of Kouga had made her emotions jump. She wanted to hurt him. 

            _He's doing this; he's trying to tear us apart…_

_            Gods, Kagura, please see! Please open your eyes! _

She wanted nothing more then to protect Kagura from Kouga but what could she do when Kagura didn't realize she needed it? What could she do? Then she remembered the plan. It would hurt Kagura. It would hurt her to have her eyes opened now. But Kouga and his primrose path had to disappear. Kagura's heart would be torn with them. 

            _Am I being selfish? _

_            Am I thinking of my own feelings? Or am I thinking of what is best for Kagura? _

_            What happens when you can't tell the difference?_

_-----------------------------_

            "Heh, okay, do you remember the time that we got into the ice-cream but we left it out?" Inuyasha asked Rin who was giggling at him. "Then we left it out? Mom and Dad were fucking _pissed_ when they saw that melted ice-cream everywhere." 

            "One time Souta and I ate all the strawberries in the fridge." Kagome joined in. The three of them were sitting there, Rin in her bed at the hospital waiting to get out quite patiently the next day and the other two trying to cheer her up. There was one other person in the room.

            Sesshomaru was apart from the group. And not just verbally or mentally, he was actually sitting several feet behind Inuyasha in a slightly dark corner. He was watching them with a somber expression, mostly just at Rin. Rin kept looking over at him and then a sad look would flash across her features and she would pretend to smile for Kagome and Inuyasha.

            Inuyasha couldn't believe what a difference had come between him and Kagome. It was still hard to imagine him and her cheering up Rin. As Kagome related the strawberry-fiasco to them, he watched her blue eyes light up and twinkle. She was telling stories about Souta. She _never _talked about Souta like this. It was almost like…they were siblings. Not just adopted siblings who barely tolerated each other. The sun was streaming through the window behind her, making her black hair seem almost blue in some spots. And he memorized these things. 

            "Okay, do you want me to get you some snack food?" Inuyasha asked Rin, getting up. "The hospital food kind of sucks. We'll get you some chips or something."

            "Doritos!" Rin volunteered. Then she turned towards Sesshomaru. "Do you want anything?"

            "I'm fine." Sesshomaru's eyes had immediately gone to the floor. 

            "I'll go with you!" Kagome volunteered and sprang up to go get food with Inuyasha. As soon as the two left, the room was silent. All the laughter melted from Rin's eyes as though it had been a spell.

            Her brown eyes went to her hands. They were bandaged. But she remembered them scraping against the sidewalk as the man had shoved himself inside her.

            _No! Don't think about that right now._

_            Sesshomaru…please look at me. Please look at me. _

_            Do you hate me? _

"Sesshomaru…" Rin started to say. His eyes were downcast still and stopped. Tears started to form. Sesshomaru had always been with her, ever since he had entered her life. And now it seemed like that was all over. 

            _I'm so dirty…can I really blame him? _

_            I'm disgusting. I'm some revolting horrible person…_

"Rin…" Sesshomaru began to say something and Rin looked up at him hopefully when Inuyasha and Kagome came laughing back into the room. 

            "Yes because Gobstoppers are so badass." Kagome joked. 

            "Rin…hey, have you been crying?" Inuyasha saw a several tears fall down Rin's cheeks. She quickly began to wipe at them. Inuyasha shot a suspicious look at the person who had been alone in the room with her. Deciding that Sesshomaru wouldn't make Rin cry, or else Sesshomaru had re-instated his death wish, Inuyasha sat down next to her bed again. 

            "I'm fine." Rin tried to assure him. "I'm still alive, right? That's something to be thankful for."

            "Don't even fucking talk about shit like that." Inuyasha sounded like he was almost joking but one look at his face could tell that in fact, he wasn't. "Fuck, Rin-"

            "Please…don't." Inuyasha looked taken aback as Rin shook her head. "Just…"

            "Hey-" Inuyasha was cut off again.

            "DON'T!" Rin yelled and then began to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Inuyasha…"

            "Don't apologize Rin." Kagome reached out to put a comforting hand on Rin's shoulder. Rin let it stay there as she looked over at Sesshomaru. She wanted _his_ comfort. _His _reassurance. But he wouldn't even look at her. 

            _I'm nothing…and I hate that. _

_            Sesshomaru…_

_            You've always been so beautiful…_

_            So how could I expect you to stand someone so ugly?_

_---------------------_

            It was Monday. They were all eating lunch together. Kouga, Inuyasha, Miroku, Kikyo, Kagura, and Kagome. 

            But something was off. Miroku seemed to notice it but seemed to busy heaping compliments on Kagome until Inuyasha threatened to kill him and then would desist for exactly ten seconds. Inuyasha was eating his lunch and watching the others, but mostly Kagome. He couldn't figure out why. Kouga seemed decidedly nervous during this lunch and he had no _idea _why. Kikyo was coolly eating her food but for her to be doing anything else would have been weird. Kagura looked like she needed Prozac and Kagome seemed to be the only generally normal one. 

            "Okay, what the _fuck _happened?" Inuyasha asked them. He could just tell. His life was not going to become some weirdass soap opera. 

            "Huh?" Kagura looked up at him. "Nothing happened." But she said it a little too quickly.

            "Why aren't you being all fucking cheery and shit?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously. "And why isn't Kouga being all fucking stupid?"

            "Inuyasha!" Kagome looked irked at him. She wanted to pat Kouga's hand but she was sitting next to Inuyasha, all the way across from Kouga at the table. The tables in the cafeteria could easily fit anywhere from six to however many damn chairs you could squeeze around them. 

            "I don't see a difference in Kouga's intelligence."

            Everyone's eyes widened as they looked at Kikyo. She wasn't looking at anyone, just eating her lunch, almost as if she hadn't said anything. 

            "Kikyo…" Kagura trailed off uneasily, glancing over at Kouga. 

            "What was that Kikyo?" Kouga asked in a scathing voice. 

            "I said your intelligence has not gotten any higher." Kikyo looked directly at him as if challenging him. Kouga blatantly ignored her and turned towards Kagura.

            "Do you want to study again today like we did on _Friday_?" Kouga inquired. Kagura's eyes bugged and Kikyo's eyes narrowed into a glare that Inuyasha was sure would set Kouga aflame any moment now. 

            "On Friday, Inuyasha showed me a picture of you guys!" Kagome decided to try and be the peace keeper. "I didn't know you were all at the orphanage together!"

            "Yes, why don't you tell them all of your stunning friendship with Kagura, Kouga?" Kikyo's voice was as cold as steel. Kouga's eyes widened.

            _"I'll get you back one day!"_

"We weren't friends then." Kagura laughed in a strained sort of way. "But I guess everybody grows up sometime don't they?"

            _"Omigod, I can't believe he fell for it…"_

Kouga stared at Kagura for a few moments. She thought he had just grown up and forgotten all of it? All the pain she had caused him? And suddenly his resolution was only stronger in his mind. She could forget others so easily? 

            _I knew how she could torture others…but I didn't know she could completely forget. _

_            Why does Kikyo love this heartless being so much? _

_            And why do I find myself hating Kikyo? _

"Perhaps there is some sort of secret love triangle going on here." Miroku said slyly. Kagura, Kikyo, and Kouga all looked at him with mild surprise. 

            "I'm going to the library." Kikyo stood up and gathered up her stuff, trying to walk off hurriedly. 

            "Wait for me!" Kagura ran after her. Kouga slammed a fist on the table, surprising the others. 

            "I've got to go." Kouga walked off. Kagome quickly excused herself and went after him. Thus, it was only Miroku and Inuyasha left at the table. 

            "Good job Sir Fucks-A-Lot." Inuyasha flipped him off. "Stick to your binge-screwing." 

            "I don't see why you criticize my personal life." Miroku gave him a humorless look. Then a devilish grin spread across his face. "But then, I suppose it must be a horrible frustrating ordeal to live in the same house as a beautiful woman and not be able to touch her ever." 

            "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Inuyasha asked him angrily.

            "I'm talking about your dear adopted sister." Miroku explained outright to the dark-haired young man. 

            "Kagome?!" Inuyasha's face reddened slightly as he realized exactly what Miroku was saying. "Feh! Like I would want to do anything with her!" 

            "Oh really?" Miroku raised an eyebrow. "Well then it must be okay if I ask out Kagome."

            "She's fucking dating Kouga." Inuyasha stood up. "And stay the fuck away from her." 

            "Not that you care, I suppose?" Miroku seemed to be amused by Inuyasha's reaction. 

            "I don't give a fuck." Inuyasha grumbled as he walked off. Miroku just watched him with a small smile.

            _I'm sure you don't…_

*                                                          *                                              *

            Rin did her home quietly in her room. Sesshomaru was home but he wasn't there in her room. He was in his own. Rin looked at her door sadly. She was waiting to hear that soft but firm knocking that meant he was waiting to come in. Then she would invite him in and he would look at her with that bittersweet look as though she brightened his day, like she was the sun. 

            _He'll never look at me like that again…_

A tear rolled down her cheek and then fell onto her homework. She couldn't concentrate just then and so she shoved it aside and then curled up on her bed. Part of her wanted to go and see Inuyasha but a bigger part of her just wanted Sesshomaru to _look _at her. 

            He hadn't looked at her since the incident. 

            She wasn't fit for him. She couldn't be his Rin, his little sister, any longer. Rin began to cry on her pillows. That's when she heard the door open behind her. Her eyes widened. 

            "Rin? Are you asleep?" Sesshomaru's voice was soft and she closed her eyes and tried to look like she was sleeping. He came and sat on her bed, next to her. Rin tried her best to not show she was awake. 

            Then she felt it. 

            A soft hand very gently trailing over her face. 

            "I'm sorry Rin." Sesshomaru told her. Rin wanted to cry even harder and open her eyes and throw her arms around him. She wanted him to hold her and tell her that she wasn't ugly or dirty or anything. 

            _Because if Sesshomaru says it…_

_            If he says that I'm beautiful, then it will all go away. _

_            I'll believe him. _

Then he got up and left the room. Rin opened her eyes as soon as she heard the door click. She turned towards the door but she knew she had missed her chance to talk to Sesshomaru. She had to talk to him. 

            Rin got up and threw the door open but at the end of the hall, Sesshomaru's door was closing. Rin sank to her knees, still holding onto the door handle. 

            _Just look at me…look into my eyes…_

_            Hold me like you used to…_

_            So I know that you still care for me. _

_--------------------_

            They were driving home together from the store, Kagura and Kikyo, both in Kikyo's car. Kikyo was concentrating on the road and Kagura was being quiet in her seat. She wasn't fiddling with the radio, she wasn't talking, and she wasn't trying to distract Kikyo from the road. 

            She was just staring at Kikyo and then she would look back at her hands as though she were ashamed. Then back up at Kikyo.

            "What is it?" Kikyo asked, almost as if she were far away, her detached attention to Kagura's strange behavior made Kagura almost flinch. 

            _"What is it?" _

_            "I don't have time for you right now Kagura."_

_            "Can't you take her somewhere?"_

"I…just…are you mad at me?" Kagura asked sheepishly. 

            "No." Kikyo's brow furrowed, she still hadn't look at Kagura at all. "No, I just…I want you to make up your mind."

            "Huh?" Kagura's head titled to one side. 

            "I love you but you love Kouga." Kikyo told her. 

            "I love you too!" Kagura insisted because she knew she did. There was no one else like Kikyo in the whole world. 

            "If you love me, then you'll have to choose." Kikyo closed her eyes as she waited for a few moments at the traffic light. "I don't want you to stay because you feel obligated to." 

            "I don't feel obligated…I just…" Kagura tried to find a way to put her thoughts into words. "I can't choose between you. I can't imagine life without you and I can't really imagine it without Kouga either."

            "It just hurts." Kikyo actually admitted it to Kagura. "It hurts to know that you love him as much as you love me." Kagura's red eyes stared at Kikyo's profile.

            _I didn't think about that._

_            It hurts Kikyo. _

_            Does it hurt Kouga as well? _

_            Am I hurting the two people I love most?_

_            But how do I choose between them? And why do I have to? _

_            "Your present." _

_            It was always so detached, almost like I was a trinket, something they could set aside. Could they ever really love me? _

_            Could anyone?_

Kagura fell silent at the thought. What happened the day that both of them left her? And was that day really that far away?

----------------------

            He sat in his car and waited for her. She came running out the front door on Wednesday and got into his car. Kouga smiled at her eagerness. She really did think he was in love with her.

            "Hey." Kouga smiled at Kagura. 

            "Hey." Kagura smiled back at him. "Kikyo went to the library." Kouga felt his hands tighten on the wheel.

            "So, you'll only see me when she's not around?" Kouga asked her sharply.

            "No!" Kagura put a hand on his arm. "That's not it at all." 

            "That's what it feels like." Kouga was surprised by the amount of bitterness in his voice. He should really be more understanding that way Kagura would think of just him. "I'm sorry Kagura, I just…I love you and I want to spend all my time with you. But it seems like you don't have time for me."

            "I do have time for you." Kagura smiled. "I'm making time for you. I wanted to spend more time with you…but I do love Kikyo." 

            This kept Kouga quiet until they got to his house. They went in, bypassing Kouga's parents quite quickly. He led her into his room and shut the door, locking it behind him. 

            _Why does this bother me so much? _

_            Why do I care?_

_            To hear those words…it's like I can't make Kagura love me most._

_            I want her to love me most. _

_            It'll hurt her more if she does._

"It's weird being back here…" Kagura sat down on his bed. Kouga sat down next to her and put an arm around her waist, using a hand to make her look up into his blue eyes. 

            "Yeah it is." Kouga let his hand trail upwards a little; the feel of Kagura's body was so perfect. Her willing body, that vulnerable look in her eyes. Kouga felt himself wanting to repeat the activities that had commenced the last time she was in this room. 

            "I…I don't know…" Kagura seemed to be trying to answer the unspoken question. "I don't know if we should…"

            "What?" Kouga was surprised by her. Why wouldn't she want to? He hadn't even considered that possibility. 

            "It's just…Kikyo…" Kagura tried to make sense of her confusion. Kouga pressed his lips against her, crushing her against him. Kagura wasn't fighting him. He pressed his weight against her and she fell backwards with him on top of her. 

            "I don't care about Kikyo." Kouga looked directly in her eyes. "It's just you. This is just about you." Kagura's lips parted in her disbelief. "Tell me to stop and I will." He went for her throat and she pressed against him readily. 

            "I don't want to." Kagura moaned in his ear as he began to unbutton her shirt. "Please don't." Kouga felt a feeling of victory. Soon. Very soon. 

            _I don't know if I could have stopped…_

_            This feeling…all I wanted is her right now._

_-------------------------_

            "What's with the make-up?" Inuyasha had come into Kagome's room on Friday, something that he seemed prone to doing now a day. It wasn't like before where he only did it to make some snide remark. 

            "Kouga's taking me to Mezzo's at eight." Kagome answered him. "It's that pizza place." 

            "Oh." Inuyasha had a very strange look on his face. Kagome couldn't tell what was going through his head right then. "I know that place." 

            "Is something wrong?" Kagome looked at him, trying to figure out the odd look on his face.

            "No." Inuyasha turned around and started to walk out. "Have fun." 

            "I will." Kagome felt a twinge as he walked out, his hair back in a loose ponytail, just like she had shown him. She didn't know why, but she had almost wanted him to act differently about it. She didn't want to fight…but something. 

            Inuyasha went downstairs and immediately dialed Kikyo's number. The phone rang twice. 

            "Yes?" Kikyo answered. 

            "Mezzo's, eight o'clock." Inuyasha felt like he was in some badass spy movie. 

            "Meet us there." Kikyo said in an almost commanding tone. 

            "See ya." Inuyasha hung up the phone. Just as he did, it rang. He picked it up again, wondering vaguely who it was. "Yeah?"

            "Inuyasha?" It was Rin's voice, small and sad. 

            "Rin?" Inuyasha asked even though he knew he couldn't mistake that voice. "What's going on?"

            "I…" Rin trailed off. "I just wanted to talk to you." 

            "How are you doing?" Inuyasha's tone was softer then his usual harsh one. 

            "I'm fine." Rin didn't sound fine. She sounded like she might start crying. Inuyasha felt like he might crush the phone in his grip. 

            "What's wrong?" He almost barked into the phone.

            "It's nothing. I'm sorry…" Rin tried to cover up quickly. "I…I should go." 

            "Wait-" The phone clicked as Rin hung up on her end. Inuyasha stared at the phone in confusion for a few moments. What had just happened? He put the phone down. He had other things to think about as well. He made a mental note to stop by Rin's and check on her tomorrow. He heard Kagome calling out good-bye as she left out the front door. It was time for Kikyo's plan. 

            _Opening someone's eyes like that._

_            Shit, in a way, it's almost as bad as what Kagura did to Kouga. _

_--------------------_

            "Hey Inuyasha!" Kagura was sitting at a table with Kikyo. Inuyasha was glad he couldn't see Kagome. He'd rather not watch Kouga and her being all fucking cutesy. He sat with the two girls. 

            "Hey, what's up?" Inuyasha greeted them.

            "We already ordered drinks." Kagura gestured towards her coke. "They're coming with our breadsticks soon." 

            "The breadsticks here kickass." Inuyasha declared. Kikyo had told him to act as normally as possible and that she would take care of everything. Sitting in the restaurant, knowing that something was supposed to happen…it was just kind of weird. 

            He noticed that they were almost right next to the bathroom, but part of him thought that Kikyo had almost planned it that way. How weird. But then, did anyone really want to question what Kikyo was doing? Some how he thought such a course of action would involve stabbing. 

            That's when Kagome came by. She spotted them and waved as she went into the bathroom. They all waved back, Inuyasha with his sort of cool wave, Kagura waved exuberantly, and Kikyo waved calmly with a small little smile. 

            Kagome came back out a few moments later and came over to the table.

            "Hey you guys!" Kagome greeted them cheerfully. "What are you guys doing here?"

            "I was hungry and then Kikyo called and wanted to know if I wanted to go eat. I'm not following you." Inuyasha's nose twitched a little. 

            "I didn't say that." Kagome sat next to him in the round booth. "Kouga and I are here too."

            "What?" Kagura looked at her almost in pure disbelief. "Kouga?"

            "Yeah, you know, Kouga." Kagome shrugged. "We almost always go out on Friday."

            "Are you and Kouga dating?" Kikyo looked mildly surprised but Inuyasha knew she was faking.

            "Yeah, well, I guess I'm his girlfriend. We've been going out since he moved here." Kagome blushed lightly. "He hasn't told you guys?"

            Kagura's eyes and expression showed she had just been shattered. And then Kouga appeared.

            "There you are Kagome, what…?" Kouga trailed off as his throat stuck. He had spotted Kagura who was looking at him with such a heartbroken expression that it made Inuyasha feel like shit and he could only guess how Kikyo felt as her face betrayed no emotion. Kagura stood up.

            "I…I didn't know you and Kagome were dating." Kagura put on this horrible cheerful look that Inuyasha knew was completely fake. "How nice." And then she ran from the table. 

            "Kagura!" Kouga called after her. 

            "What's going on?" Kagome asked Kouga sharply. 

            "I…I can't talk right now." Kouga ran after Kagura who had already left the restaurant. Kagome turned towards the other two. 

            _Why is he running after Kagura? _

_            I thought…_

_            "Especially with him and her skipping school today together." _

_            He's been acting so weird…_

_            Are Kagura and Kouga…?_

_            Am I an idiot? _

_            Has Kouga being using me? _

She turned bright blue eyes that sparkled with tears that were pricking at her eyes towards the two. Did they know? Had Inuyasha not said anything? Had Kikyo not said anything? Was everything just a lie? 

            "Did…you…" Kagome's voice cracked. "Did you know about the two of them?"

            "Yeah…well, I don't really know that much about it…Kikyo knows more about it then I do." Inuyasha admitted. 

            "So you just let me…you never told me…I trusted you!" Kagome stood up and stalked out of the restaurant. Inuyasha got up and chased after her. He didn't even think about how this was going to affect Kagome. He never thought of any of that. He was just thinking about getting back at Kouga. 

            _I'm a fucking idiot._

Inuyasha caught her as they both got outside. He grabbed her arm.

            "Let go of me Inuyasha!" Kagome wrenched her arm away from him. 

            "Listen, fuck, Kagome, he's using Kagura and Kikyo wanted her to realize that but no matter what she fucking told her, Kagura wasn't listening." Inuyasha grabbed her arm again and whirled her around to face him. "Would you have listened to me?"

            "I might have!" Kagome tried to pull away from him but he kept a firm grip on her arms. "Let me go!"

            "I'm not letting you go!" Inuyasha yelled at her. "It was fucking Kikyo's idea! Okay?! I wasn't fucking thinking about you! I wasn't fucking thinking at all!" 

            "Let me go!" Kagome repeated, trying to twist her arms away.

            "Fuck you!" Inuyasha roared at her. "I'm not letting you go! I'm not letting you go Kagome!" Kagome stopped for a moment, shocked by his words. She stood there staring up at his violet eyes as he held tightly onto her wrists. 

            _He sounds so possessive…_

_            Like…like he really can't just let me go._

_            Does Inuyasha…actually care about me?_

"Inuyasha…" Kagome just stared up at him. 

            "Dammit, Kagome." Inuyasha's grip loosened and her arms dropped to her sides. "You wouldn't have believed me." He started to turn away. 

            "I might have." Kagome's words made him stop and turn towards her. "If you would have tried to tell me about Kouga, maybe I would have…" 

            "I did try. You just weren't paying attention." Inuyasha looked down. "Come on, you can't walk back home, I've got the car." Kagome just stared at him for a few more moments before nodding her head.

            "Let's go home." Kagome agreed. "Inuyasha…"

            Yeah?" Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow.

            "Nothing." Kagome shook her head. She hadn't even known what she was about to say. What was there to tell?

-------------------------

            Kagura drove home, barely seeing where she was going. She wasn't thinking about Kikyo, but then, Kikyo had driven her own car to the pizza place as well. She was realizing how stupid she was.

            _You were trying to tell me._

_            Why didn't I listen to you?_

_            Do you hate me?_

_            Do you hate me?_

_            I was so stupid!_

_            I thought I…I thought we could be in love…I fell in love with you Kouga…_

_            But that's what you wanted, wasn't it?_

_            Why didn't I think about the past?_

_            Why didn't I put it all together?_

_            "I've got the best idea for a practical joke!" Kagura had bragged to the other two. "Wait till you hear!" _

            _Valentine's Day. That's what it was. I wanted a joke for the holiday and you were the one we played the jokes on. You were the one that made it funny. But that time…things were just different. We were all twelve. _

_            "What is it?" Kikyo asked, getting a thoughtful look, ready to make plans over this latest brainstorm._

_            "Okay, I'm going to send Kouga a valentine and tell him I'm in love with him." Kagura giggled. "Then I'll tell him to meet me somewhere and just not show up!"_

_            "I don't know…" Inuyasha looked a little hesitant. "That's kind of fucked up."_

_            "Shut up, it'll be totally funny!" Kagura shook her head at the other two. "You guys'll see." _

_            And then I wrote it. It was a pretty valentine and I had written that I was secretly in love with Kouga and would he meet me behind the storage shed at eight? I left it under his pillow the day before. When he found it, I wasn't in the room but Kikyo was. She told me he seemed to believe it and had stuffed it under his pillow, grinning like an idiot. _

_            It would all work out and it would funny. Right?_

_---------------------------_

            Kouga was desperately trying to catch up to Kagura. He had to catch her, he didn't understand this need. He had to do it. To show his victory. To laugh at her and her feelings. But for some reason, he wasn't thinking about that.

            _This victory is hollow. _

_            I wonder if Kagura felt like that. That day when she left me in the rain?_

_            Dear Kouga,_

_                    I want you to know that I love you, I've been hiding it all along you see. I've had to. I want you to be my valentine. Will you please meet me behind the storage shed at eight o' clock on Valentine's Day?_

_                                 Love,_

_                                     Kagura_

_            He had stuffed the valentine under his pillow, grinning happily. Of course! Kagura had to be in love with him! It made sense! He had once heard that girls tease the boys they like. In that case, Kagura must really be in love with him! _

_            I thought I would have someone who loved me._

_            Someone to hold onto. _

_            I guess I didn't really under the fact that it could be a trick or a joke. _

_            I had been so happy that someone could actually care about me that I didn't care if it wasn't real. I didn't question it. _

_            He left a note under Kagura's pillow telling her that he would wait for her behind the storage shed. He watched Kagura that day, during classes and while she was doing homework. She would look up and blush a little. _

_            I thought it was real._

_            Kouga went out and made sure he was behind the storage shed at eight. And he waited. _

_            It began to rain and he hadn't thought about how the gray skies had been threatening it. The rain poured down on him and it was so cold during February. It was freezing and he just stood there, waiting, knowing that Kagura would be there soon. _

_            He checked his watch. _

_            It was nine o'clock. Where was she? _

_            Then he heard footsteps coming towards him from the other side of the shed. It was nine-thirty but that didn't matter to him because Kagura was in love with him. He didn't have to worry about anyone not caring about him. He didn't have to worry about being alone._

_            Kagura and Kikyo were there, holding umbrellas, wrapped in warm coats. He looked from Kagura to Kikyo, confused. _

_            "You're actually still waiting?" Kagura gave her a disbelieving look and giggled maliciously. Kouga looked back and forth. What was going on? _

_            "I'm going back." Kikyo told Kagura. "I'm cold." _

_            "What? You're leaving?" Kagura turned towards Kikyo but Kikyo had already walked off. _

_            "Kagura, you came! I got your letter and…" Kouga trailed off as Kagura began to laugh. She just stood there and laughed horribly. And then he felt as though someone had stabbed him. _

_            "I can't believe you fell for it!" Kagura was practically doubled over with her umbrella, perfectly dry and warm. "What a loser!"_

_            "But…I thought…aren't…" Kouga realized that the whole thing had been a joke. A prank. She didn't love him. He was still alone. "I thought you were in love with me."_

_            "How could I ever love a loser like you?" Kagura asked him, not aware how painful the words were. How they were beginning to echo in his head._

_            Loser like you…_

_            Love…_

_            How could I…_

_            How could I ever…_

_            A loser like you…_

_            "How could I ever love a loser like you?"_

_            It had been so painful. Kouga tried to cover his ears or do something that would block it all out. He broke into tears. Kagura found this reaction amusing as she continued to laugh at him. She just stood there laughing at him as they stood in the rain. _

_            "I can't believe you actually thought that…gods, Kouga, you are so stupid." Kagura was shaking her head as she laughed._

_            Anger began to boil up inside of him. He hated her. He hated her for bringing his hopes up and then smashing them to the ground. He hated her and he wanted to make her hurt as badly as she was hurting him._

_            "I'll get you back one day!" _

_            Kagura had stopped laughing, just for a moment and Kouga knew those words had hit home. She would remember those words. And one day, he vowed to himself, he would make sure they came true. No matter what he had to do. No matter what, he would make sure that she feel in love with him and then laugh in her face._

_            She walked away laughing once more. _

_            Kouga stood out in the rain and cried for a little while more. _

He pulled up at her house and saw her rushing through the front door. He got out and ran up to the house, pulled open the door and ran up the stairs. He knew she was headed for her room. To take refuge in her room from the cruel deeds that were coming back to haunt her. 

            Kouga went inside her room to find Kagura crying on her bed. She looked up, her eyes puffy and red.

            "You got me back."

            She had remembered those words. Even if she had just recalled them just now, he knew she was aware of his victory. 

            "I fell in love with you." Kagura closed her eyes, tears rolling down. "But how could you ever fall in love with a loser like me?"

            "Shut up." Kouga told her. "Don't try to act like you couldn't see this coming. Did you really think I was so forgiving? What Kagura? Are you upset? How does it feel when someone hurts you like this?"

            _I've gotten what I deserve for being selfish…_

_            Didn't I?_

"I…I'm sorry." Kagura hung her head. "You…gods, Kouga, I was a little kid…I didn't understand those things back then…"

            "You've never understood them Kagura! You can't understand what it's like to be alone! You've never had that before Kagura." Kouga accused her. "You've always had Kikyo!"

            "I know what it's like…" Kagura looked up at him, tears streaking down her face. "I know what it's like to have no one love you!"

            "Bullshit." Kouga told her. "No one that knows could have done that."

            "But…" Kagura tried to protest but she saw that intense, angry look in Kouga's bright blue eyes and knew she couldn't.

            But that didn't mean she didn't know what it was like to be alone.

            _My parents…my real parents…they were always too busy for me. They were always leaving and I always tried everything to get their attention, for them to notice me, for them to love me…_

_            "Mother!" Kagura came bounding up to the woman who was too busy staring up into the eyes of Kagura's father. "Mother, come look at the painting I did!"_

_            "Kagura, can't you see I'm busy?" Her mother scolded her. _

_            "Your mother is busy, go play." Her father dismissed her. _

_            "But…but…" Kagura's lip stuck out. Today was her birthday. Had they forgotten? Had they forgotten all about it? "It's my birthday."_

_            "We're leaving on a trip today Kagura, we're trying to get ready." Her mother indicated the suitcases. They were leaving? On her birthday? Kagura looked down at her feet sadly. "Don't sulk. We got you a present."_

_            "You did?" Kagura looked up at them hopefully. _

_            "Your present." Her father practically shoved the stuffed teddy bear at Kagura. "Now go find something to do Kagura." _

_            Kagura hugged the teddy bear to herself happily. They had remembered to get her a present! She ran away, hoping that when they got back, they would see the picture she had painted of all three of them holding hands. _

_            But they never came back._

_            They died in an accident. _

_            They never saw that painting of a little girl's wishful dream. Kagura had wept and refused to be separated from the last thing they had ever given her, her teddy bear. _

_            Later, the people took her to the Takahashi Home For Children where she had arrived, scared of the world. That's when they opened the door to her new room. _

_            "Kikyo?" The woman called into the room. A small, curious head peaked out from one of the top bunks. "Come meet your new roommate."_

_            Those gentle eyes…_

_            They were cool and distant but I knew…we would be the best of friends…that nothing would separate us._

_            Maybe I took that for granted._

"I said it was bullshit." Kouga grabbed her shoulders and jerked her upwards. "I don't want to hear you talk right now." And then he kissed her roughly. And Kagura let him kiss her. 

            She let him almost savagely rip her clothes from her and then when they began to move together she just let it happen. He had her right there, right after he had torn out her heart. Kagura clung to him, wanting his forgiveness, wanting him. 

            _Why do I still want this when he made it clear that he doesn't love me?_

_            I know that it doesn't mean anything to him…_

_            But it means so much to me…_

_            And I'm letting him have it._

_--------------------_

            Kikyo had seen Kouga's stupid truck outside the mansion and she went upstairs, expecting to hear an argument, to see Kouga come storming passed. She heard noises and went to press her ear up against Kagura's door.

            "Please! Please!" Kagura begged loudly and passionately. Kikyo's eyes widened. 

            _No…it can't be…_

_            That's not possible…_

_            You…_

_            You still love him. You still want him even though he showed you how ugly his intentions actually were. _

Kikyo put her hands over her ears and ran away into her room, her door slamming shut behind her. She couldn't get further away from them. She ran into the huge walk in closet, desperate to get the hell away from it. 

            "Why?" Kikyo looked up in the darkness. 

            Nothing answered. 

----------------

            He leaned into the steaming water as the soap was rinsed away from his body. He wanted to drown himself in that shower. He had been so horrible to Rin since the incident. He avoided her as much as possible.

            _I have to…I can't do anything for her…I couldn't even save her…_

_            She'll see that I'm useless to her…that I couldn't do anything for her…_

He shut off the water. Sesshomaru stepped out of the shower. He stopped as he reached for a towel because he realized he wasn't alone. He wasn't the only one in that bathroom. 

            Rin was in the room. Standing there with her eyes averted towards the floor and wearing her white bathrobe.

            "Rin…" Sesshomaru's voice caught in his throat. He realized he was completely naked in front of her but Rin wasn't saying anything at first. A few moments of silence went by.

            "I…I feel dirty…I wanted to take a shower." Rin explained in a small voice. "And you're so clean…untainted…I wanted to shower with you."

            "Rin, you aren't-" Sesshomaru began but Rin cut him off.

            "Yes I am." Rin shut her eyes and tried to force away the tears. "Yes I am."

            "Stop saying that! You aren't dirty and you aren't tainted." Sesshomaru told her seriously.

            "You won't come near me anymore because you're so disgusted with me, you won't talk to me unless you have to!" Rin began to shake with what could have could have been anger or grief.

            "Because I couldn't protect you." Sesshomaru countered. "Because you believed that I would save you and I couldn't."

            "I don't blame you though!" Rin rushed forward and hugged him. "I know you would have saved me if you possibly could have."

            "Rin." Sesshomaru's arms encircled her.

            "I need you to wash me." Rin whispered urgently. And she stepped back before untying her robe and letting it fall to the floor around her feet. He stared at her naked skin for a few moments. 

            _How could she possibly think she's anything but perfect? _

_            She's so beautiful and pure…_

His hand reached behind him and turned the water back on. When the water was the perfect temperature, he stepped into the shower, helping Rin to stand in there with him. 

            With a gentle precision, he began to wash her. He washed her hair slowly, working the shampoo into her hair as her head was tilted back.Sesshomaru's hands helped rinse it out. Then he took the soap and began to move it around her whole body. At first he wasn't sure if he should but he touched her soft skin, his hands gliding over it. 

            _She thinks I'm clean._

The thought bought him pain. He had never told her. He had never told her his deepest secret. He should have. Then she would know the truth and she wouldn't want him near her. She wouldn't want him washing her. 

            _His mother hadn't been home, she was out grocery shopping. My father, it was before he had died. My father had opened the door to his bedroom. _

_            "Come here Sesshomaru."_

_            I had been taught to obey and so I went into his bedroom. He had closed the door and then it had begun. The slow and painful process that he could remember so well. His father kept telling him how pretty he was, like a doll. _

_            How pretty…_

_            How pretty…_

_            And he had raped his own son. Sesshomaru had cried the whole time because he didn't understand it. _

_            "If you ever say one word to anyone about this, I'll kill you."_

_            And he hadn't spoken until that day; he had come to Rin's room door. She was crying. At that moment she looked like the purest and gentlest thing he had ever seen. He wanted nothing more then to hear her speak to him. To reach out and tell her it was okay. _

The water went cold so Sesshomaru shut it off and helped Rin dry off before tying her robe around her. Rin was staring at him with her large eyes and he knew he would have to tell her. 

            His arms gently picked her up. She was light as a feather to him. He did not carry her to her own bedroom, but to his. He laid her down on his bed carefully and then lay down with her, the two curling up together. Just like they had done when they were younger. 

            Sesshomaru told her. He spoke every word of it, something he had never dared speak of before. Something that had made him go silent for so long. 

            And when it was over, Rin was still against him, she hadn't left him. She stayed there and comforted him, running his hand up and down his arms. 

            "I love you." She told him. "I thought you hated me."

            "I thought you would hate me." Sesshomaru told her and then bending a little, he kissed her forehead. "I love you…" He whispered as the two fell asleep in each other's arms. 

------------------------

            The two girls sat together at breakfast. Kikyo sipped her tea and Kagura was not eating at all. She just couldn't because she knew Kikyo knew what had happened last night. It was written all over the brown-eyed girl's face. 

            Kagura opened her mouth and then closed it again. Perhaps it would be better if she didn't say anything.

            "I already know." 

            That's what Kagura had suspected but Kikyo wasn't even looking at her which made her feel worse. She seemed so detached. 

            "I…" Kagura tried to think of what to say.

            "Please, just choose." Kikyo looked up at her. "Just choose him Kagura."

            "I can't." Kagura grabbed a hold of Kikyo's hand. "I love you. Don't you understand that? I could never leave you. Ever. You never left me. You were always there."

            "I love you too." Kikyo told her. "But you can't keep this up. You have to choose."

            "I can't do that." Kagura shook her head. "Please…just, give me time. I can't choose." 

            "You'll have to." Kikyo wished she could tell Kagura how much it hurt. But there weren't words for it. It was so painful to know that Kouga kept making love to Kagura. Maybe there was no way to tell Kagura but there was a way of showing her.

----------------------

            She hated this decision. No, maybe not hated but she was sad. She needed Kagura and maybe Kagura didn't realize that. Kagura just wouldn't listen and just kept sleeping with Kouga. And now Kikyo slept alone except for those occasions where Kagura would come creeping into her room to sleep in her bed. And then Kagura would remind Kikyo how much she loved her.

            But it hurt so much.

            She wouldn't learn if she didn't know.

            Kikyo adjusted the long sleeved shirt with its low neckline and made sure that her hair was smoothed into a ponytail before heading towards her goal. 

            He was talking to some girl. He always had girls with him. Except at the lunch table and there he would make comments that bordered on obscene at Kagura, Kagome, and her. He noticed her walking towards him determinedly but went back to the girl he was talking to.

            "I need to talk to you." Kikyo told him importantly.

            "Eh, Keiko, look, I've got to talk to my friend now." Miroku gave the girl a charming smile. "I will call you."

            "Okay!" The girl bounced off and Miroku turned his attention to Kikyo.

            "Yes?" Miroku asked her. "Although I must take this opportunity to tell you how wonderful you look today. Kagura is most fortunate to have a lovely woman at her side." 

            The mention of Kagura's name stung at Kikyo. It reminded her of her purpose. 

            "Miroku, I would like…" Kikyo tried to think of a good way to explain this. "I would like you to take me out on Friday." Miroku's mouth fell open. This was Kikyo. The same girl who often told him she was going to do terrible things to his manhood if he so much as tried to lay a hand on me. 

            Then he remembered what Inuyasha had told him. Kouga, Kagura, and Kikyo in some triangle. Kikyo was feeling rejected or who knew what. She wanted a distraction and she wanted to get back at Kagura, that's what he suspected. 

            "Take you out?" Miroku raised his eyebrows at her. "You want me to take you on a date Kikyo?"

            "Yes." Kikyo nodded her head. "Will you?" Miroku saw that bitterness swirling in her brown eyes and knew that this was a revenge. Almost how every girl he slept with was a sort of revenge against _her_. Not that _she _would ever know.

            "If that's what you want." Miroku bowed his head towards her. Was he to deny her revenge? He knew how she felt. 

            They both knew that the date was not exactly what she was asking for. Miroku knew that this might not solve Kikyo's problems but then, making women feel better, even temporarily was what he was about. Or was it really just him that wanted the distraction?

------------------------

            "You guys have the most fucked up relationship." Inuyasha shook his head as Kikyo told him all that she could. She felt she needed to confide in someone and Kagura was apparently not an option. "Ever." 

            "Thank you for that expert opinion." Kikyo rolled her eyes. "I'm sure there are worse."

            "Dude, you're going to go off and revenge-screw because Kagura's sleeping with Kouga and still sleeping with you. Name one fucking situation that is that fucked up." Inuyasha dared her. 

            "How about your sister and her relationship with her older adopted brother?" Kikyo countered. Inuyasha had told her all about Rin and Sesshomaru and what he suspected that older man was trying to corrupt his little sister with. 

            "Fuck you." Inuyasha knew he didn't have a good comeback but it was the principle of the thing. "It isn't _that _fucked up. Rin isn't going to have sex with that guy."

            "Between you and what I've seen and heard of Sesshomaru, I don't think Rin will have sex with any guy." Kikyo stated. 

            "Well, yeah, other then…" Inuyasha thought about how Rin was raped. That made him want to start breaking things. "Fuck, anyways, that's your plan?"

            "Yes it is." Kikyo sighed. "What about you? What's your plan for Kagome?"

            "What the fuck does that mean? Me and Kagome aren't fucking each other or other people." Inuyasha reminded her.

            "I can tell." Kikyo remarked dryly. "You might be amazed how obvious it is that you spend so much time with your hands." 

            "Shit, don't spend so much fucking time with Kagura." Inuyasha grumbled. "You fucking start talking like her." 

            "I'm pointing out the obvious." Kikyo wondered how Inuyasha had gone this long without any sense of eloquence. 

            "That has nothing to do with Kagome." Inuyasha folded his arms. "I'm not Sesshomaru, I don't have some weirdass adopted sister complex." 

            "Never mind." Kikyo shook her head. "There's really not a point trying to explain it to you." 

            "I guess not." Inuyasha was totally confused now. He was glad school was over; he just wanted to go home. Kagome was waiting for him at the car so he said good-bye to Kikyo and got in with her. 

            "Is something wrong?" Kagome glanced at him curiously.

            "No." Inuyasha tried to stare out the window sulkily. 

            "You just looked a little…you know…pissed off." Kagome shrugged. 

            "Fucking Kikyo." Inuyasha muttered. 

            "What?" Kagome blinked. "You're what?"

            "No, fuck!" Inuyasha wished everybody would stop doing this to him. "She was just fucking, you know what? It's fucking stupid because she's being fucking stupid about everything."

            "Really? Kikyo?" Kagome was really starting to become confused. 

            "Yeah, it's all that fucking triangle they've got going on." Inuyasha shook his head. "Then she starts saying shit about you and me."

            "You and me?" Kagome turned the wheel to the right. 

            "She thinks, I don't know, she thinks we're fucking." He caught the look on Kagome's face. "I told her I wasn't Sesshomaru."

            "Hehehe, I don't think Sesshomaru and Rin are sleeping together." Kagome giggled. "Though I can see what you're saying. Why would Kikyo say that?"

            "I don't know." Inuyasha didn't even try to understand the pale-girl's logic in that one. "I have no fucking clue."

-------------------

            She hadn't told Kagura where she was going as she walked out the door. Kagura had called out the question and Kikyo didn't bother answering. Had Kagura ever answered her when she began trying to question her? 

            Miroku was waiting outside for her. He gave her a flower, something she suspected he did for every female that went on a date with him. He treated her to dinner. It was nice as he made pleasant general conversation, making Kikyo feel slightly less on edge about the evening. He kept trying to make her laugh.

            _He knows…good, I won't have to tell him._

Kikyo got back into the car with him after dinner and he asked her what she wanted to do next. It was a loaded question and she knew it. So she came up with an answer that was also loaded.

            "I'd like to see your house." Kikyo told him. 

            Miroku had grinned because Kikyo had answered so perfectly. Had Kikyo not been in love with someone else and Miroku not been slapped in the face with his own emotions by the only woman he had ever loved, he wondered if they would have been a couple. She would have been interesting at the least. And they were friends.

            Kikyo walked around his apartment, not his house where he lived with his father. His father was gone for the evening and they had the whole place to themselves. Kikyo had sat down on Miroku's bed after he had shown it to her. He asked her if she wanted some wine, probably as a favor to her. 

            She accepted a glass of it. She drank only a little of it, Miroku's hand on her back. Kikyo set the glass on his bedside table; that was the signal that she was ready. He moved forward and kissed her then moved backwards, just to make sure he was getting her approval. 

            She locked her arms around him and he kissed her again. It was wrong to her but she pushed that guilt out of her mind. That's what Kagura did, wasn't it? Forgot all about her. Miroku went slowly and carefully, at one point, as he had just pulled her shirt off, he leaned down and whispered in her ear.

            "I know this is about her. Don't worry."

            Kikyo was glad he fully understood without her having to explain. He knew as much as she did that this did not matter. 

            When it was all finished, Miroku fell on top of her. He kissed her forehead and then rolled off her. He told her that she could sleep there if she wanted and that he would sleep on the couch if that made her more comfortable. Kikyo told him he could stay. He turned out the lights and the two fell asleep. 

            They both were sleeping peacefully, completely naked, wrapped up in blankets and sheets. They didn't know what was going to happen that morning. 

            The door was flung open and they both sat up hurriedly. Miroku rubbing his eyes and stretching a little while Kikyo made sure she was covered up. She looked up to see a girl standing there, the same age as Kikyo she would say. 

            Her hair was black and pulled back into a ponytail. She also had beautiful dark pink eyes. She had a horrified and shocked expression on her face. 

            "Who…?" She didn't look like she was comprehending the situation that well. Kikyo wondered impatiently if she was some date that Miroku had made without thinking about how the two might overlap. 

            "No…" Miroku knew her. Kikyo could read it on his face. She looked from him to the girl. "It can't be…"

            "Miroku…I…" She tried to form words but they seemed to be getting stuck in her throat. 

            _Who is she?_

_            Unless…_

_            "There's three ways to drown your sorrows…" _

_            Is this…?_

"I think I'll leave." Kikyo went for her clothes quickly, not wanting to get in the way of whatever this was. Some sort of reunion but not what she would call a happy one. 

            "Did you…?" The girl still looked hurt. "How could you Miroku?"

            "What are you doing here?" Miroku asked her in a hard voice, something Kikyo wasn't used to hearing from the jovial violet-eyed man. "What are you doing here Sango?"

--------------------------

            CLIFFHANGER! 

            What? It's true. That's all there is for right now. Urgh. I'm sorry this took so long but my life has been kind of a wrecked train. (If you're sincerely that curious, it's all in my online journal on my profile.) 

            Okay, so yeah, when I said things were going to get more complicated, I totally meant it. And just wait, more of it's on its way. Like I said, your guys' reviews were great. So yeah, here are some more random notes:

            The scene where Rin gets raped, right before that she reflects about the "weird love polygon" the main actors were caught up in when she thinks of the play—A reference to Teresa's 'Center Stage', a must read. Especially if all this angst is your thing.

            In that one scene with Rin and Kagome talking, yes, I know that CCS' ending wasn't exactly all that much better then Escaflowne's. At least, happiness wise. 

            The albums that Inuyasha is talking about, 'Smash' and 'Splinter' are both Offspring cds. Splinter is their brand new one and kicks so much ass! For some reason every time I hear "Hit That" I think of Kouga and Kagura. And "Lightening Rod" totally is about Kagura. I don't care what anybody says.

            I'm glad we could get more of the pasts out there. I think we got everybody but Miroku but it's like five seconds away from explaining that one to everyone. I'm sure most of you can gather what's going on with those two, or at least make a pretty good guess. Yes, I'm sure you can see why we don't even need Naraku to cause problems, there's already three thousand! And what's up with the Kagura/Kouga/Kikyo triangle? I promise that it'll be quite interesting when it all works out. As for Inuyasha and Kagome, whom many of you inquired about…well, you'll see.

Bye! Please review!


	3. Part Three

Sorry about the cliffhanger! But, yeah. I had to do it. I HAD to. It was like one of those impulses you get and then you're like, "I MUST DO IT OR I DIE!!!" Like…um…when you have a cherry coke. You have to drink it dude, its cherry coke. Okay, the song "Blood and Roses" by the Smithereens totally reminds me of Kagura and Kouga in this story. Just the sort of insight you don't need nor would you actually care about. Um, this is the last part. PART!!! DO YOU HEAR ME???!!! Sorry, okay, some people have been complaining about the long chapters, but the parts so far have been seventy pages long each. This one isn't too shy of that. This one will also stretch into the longest arc of "Omigod, this story could not get any more fucked up." In fact, I refer to this story as 'FA' while Teresa refers to it as 'FU' (fucked up though I suppose 'fuck you' would work as well.) So basically, just sort of cut up the book in parts not actual chapters. 

Thank You's: As strange as it sounds, the Lifetime channel. I barely ever watch this channel because I pretty much hate all their original movies. But one time they had this movie that emotionally disturbed me because a little girl hit on her adopted grandfather (it's a really loooooong story) and I like to torture myself by watching really bad movies. Anyways, the whole adoption thing intrigued me. So I thought of doing a fic about Inuyasha being adopted. At the same time, I thought about a novel with the same thing going on. A kid who's angry at the world because his parents died and separated from his little sister. But to work out the plot, I thought I'd try it out as an Inuyasha fanfic as some of the characters have parallels and even those that didn't, well, it didn't have to be exactly like the novel idea. I decided to name the novel the same thing, or if I can't, I'm not really sure what it'll be called. I have to thank the characters in my novels for being enough like the Inuyasha cast that I was definitely intrigued to see how the Inuyasha characters would take on the plot. Inuyasha's parallel character Ben is written a lot like him, swearing and all. And Nora, for being so Kagome-like. ^_^. (I have an ongoing theory that just because I 'created' the character does _not _mean I have any control over what they do. Good characters write themselves.) I have to thank Teresa because thanks to her, a lot of this fucked up storyline was thought of. See, you could almost say that every fic we do is a collaboration. I'll say, "I'm stuck, what should I do?" And Teresa will give off some suggestions. In this case, she worked me through some of the really awkward parts. (At least I was stumped.) I'd like to thank all the music that helped me with this. Seriously, you guys have no idea how important music is to me when I'm writing. If I don't have it makes it really hard for me to write. I like need background noise to think. (School and me disagree so much sometimes.) I'd like to thank food. I need it to survive. I'm thanking Rumiko because Inuyasha is a hella good series and even if she gives us a Ranma ½ ending, I still think it freaking rules. Okay, reviewers, seriously you guys rule. All of you who have enjoyed this, ^_^. I have no idea when the actual novel will be finished basically because it feels like I'm never going to finish any of my novels. And I write fanfiction to make sure that when I do get published, it's the best that it can be. After all, the key to being a good novelist is to read and write constantly. I wrote little snippets of it and the storyline has some differences and so does the ending. Omigod, the wonky song is playing! (Omigod, I'm a spazz.) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Mostly because the storyline would be like this.

Warnings: Oh, how much I wish I could quote one of Inuyasha's lines in this part. (Teresa made it up, so kudos to her. One random comment made dialogue ~_^.) Anyways, sex, blood, and rock n' roll! (That's not really true, that last part. The sex and the blood, yeah. But the rock n' roll is right out. I mean there's such a thing as going over the line.) ßI'm a smartass. Oh, and get some popcorn 'cause you got ringside seats baby!

Fade Away

Part Three

            "What am I doing here?!" Sango looked from Miroku to the girl who was quickly getting dressed. Why was she naked? Why was she in bed with Miroku?! Why was Miroku naked?! "I came to find you."

            "You found me; can you leave the room so Kikyo can get dressed in peace?" Miroku asked her coldly. 

            "I'm almost done." The girl, Kikyo, remarked calmly as she pulled on her shirt. "Don't mind me, I'm leaving." 

            "You don't want anything to eat before you go?" Miroku asked with raised eyebrows. 

            "No." Kikyo picked up a comb off the bedside table. "Do you mind if I use this?"

            "Not at all." Miroku waved a little at her. "Sango, did you leave the last vestiges of courtesy with your most amiable parents?" 

            "What about you? Did you sleep with her?" Sango demanded to know. It couldn't be true, Miroku would never…no, not after they had promised…

            "Yes I did." Miroku answered truthfully. "If you're next question is 'how was she?' I can honestly say that she wasn't bad considering she's a lesbian and has probably never been with a man before." 

            "Thank you for that assessment." Kikyo put her hair in a loose ponytail. 

            "Tell Kagura not to come and kill me." Miroku grinned at her. "She'll probably never forgive me for sleeping with her one and only Kikyo." 

            "You're involved with someone and you slept with him?!" Sango looked appalled. 

            "Don't be so quick to pass judgment, there is a situation that takes far too much explanation and one that I would rather not explain to someone I had just met." Kikyo told her absently. "I'll see you on Monday, Miroku." 

            "Good-bye Kikyo." Miroku waved and Sango stood there in shock as she walked out. Sango turned back towards Miroku with a questioning look. "What? You found me, now you can leave."

            "I…" Sango felt her face heat up and tears start to well up. "I had to search for you and I had to leave everything behind, the family wants to disown me if I don't come back and-"

            "Not my problem Sango. You made that clear already, right?" Miroku grabbed his clothes, not leaving bed. "It's ten and I have a date at noon that I need to get ready for."

            "With Kikyo?" Sango asked. 

            "No, Kikyo only slept with me to get revenge against her girlfriend who is sleeping with someone else." Miroku explained. "I don't really see how it's any of your business anyways."

            "How could you…?" Sango felt a tear roll down, her chest hurt and she fell to the ground. "How could you?!" 

            _"I'm not ready yet…"_

_            "That's okay, I'll wait forever…just for you Sango. It'll be my first time as well…"_

_            "That means it'll be special…"_

"How could I what? What do you want from me now Sango?" Miroku questioned. "You want to re-open that wound? You want me to let you tear out my heart again? Like last time?"

            "You don't understand!" Sango cried, getting up slowly. "You don't understand anything!" 

            "Oh, really?" Miroku raised his eyebrows. "I don't understand? _I_ don't understand?! Here's what I do understand: Sango, spoiled little rich girl that she's always been decided she'd like to defy her parents so she dated Miroku who thought she actually loved him. Then it turned out none of that was true because as soon as her parents said no to that, she left him!" 

            "That really shows what you know!" Sango felt so betrayed. She had been saving herself for him. For him. And he had slept with other people? How could he? "You don't know anything Miroku!" 

            "That's right, we peons couldn't possibly comprehend the universe the way you do!" Miroku pulled on his shirt. "Isn't that right?" Sango started crying. "Your parents may give you everything when you start doing that but that doesn't mean I will. You used me." 

            "No I didn't." Sango protested. "And what about you? 'I'll wait for you Sango' and now I found you gave it up to some girl who was only having sex with you because she was having problems with her girlfriend-"

            "Kikyo wasn't the first." Miroku sighed. 

            "She…wasn't?" Sango's voice was really small.  

            "No, there have been lots of girls before Kikyo." Miroku informed her. "The first one was…let me see, the first day back, I think her name was Mizuki, back seat of my car…or was it the back seat of her car?" Sango's mouth was open but no sound came out. When it finally started to work again, she wasn't crying, well, she was, but she was crying because she was so angry and hurt. 

            "Oh, so you've just been screwing every other girl." Sango stuck out her chin. "You _think _her name was Mizuki? You can't even remember if it was your car or not?! Wow, to think I believed you when you said it was going to be your first time. Or that you would have waited for me. Obviously it was only a matter of time before you dumped me for some easy lay in the school bathrooms."

            "I would have." Miroku's voice was different, as if he were far away in a memory somewhere. Sango was taken aback. "I would have waited forever because I loved you so much. It was going to be my first time and I knew it would be perfect with you." Her anger abated a little. 

            "Miroku…" Sango began.

            "But that's over." Miroku got up out of bed. "You've already shown me how much I mean to you. Get out Sango, leave me like you did that day, because as far as I'm concerned, if you're unhappy, it's what you deserve." 

            "I always thought you deserved the truth." Sango began to walk away and then stopped, not looking at him. "Maybe you don't now…but here it is: My parents were going to fire your dad if I didn't agree to stop seeing you. I didn't care about me, I cared about you. I thought, 'Does he deserve all this unhappiness?' and that's why I did it." 

            Miroku stared at her wide-eyed as she left the apartment. 

            _Why didn't you tell me that before? _

_            When it would have changed things? _

_            Things are different now. _

_            I would have waited. But then I was so angry with you, you broke my heart. So I did the only revenge that came to my mind and betrayed that promise to you. I went out and had meaningless sex with a bunch of different girls; I can't even remember all their names. _

_            Pretty good, huh? _

_            But don't think that telling me now is going to make me run back to you. You broke my heart more then you could ever know._

-------------------

            Kikyo arrived back at her mansion and then proceeded to go upstairs. When she got there, Kagura was waiting there, looking like she hadn't slept at all. Kikyo gave herself the most placid expression she could muster as she walked into the room. 

            "Kikyo!" Kagura ran up and hugged her. "Where were you? I was so worried; all I had was that note that said you were going out and you didn't call at all and then you didn't come back…"

            "I was at Miroku's." Kikyo shrugged and Kagura let go of her slowly. 

            "What?" Kagura looked confused and a tad bit suspicious. "Did you say Miroku's?"

            "Yeah." Kikyo yawned a little. "Oh, didn't I include that in that note? I must have forgotten. I think I'll have some tea." 

            "Wait, you were at Miroku's? All night?" Kagura was trying to figure it out. "What did you do all night at Miroku's? It's Friday, isn't he sleeping around on Friday night?" 

            "Nice to know I didn't put a damper on his usual plans then." Kikyo stretched slightly and started to walk out of the room again. Kagura worked it out in her head for a moment before chasing after her. Kikyo was already walking down the stairs.

            "Did you sleep with him?!" Kagura leaned over the railing as Kikyo continued on, almost like Kagura wasn't asking anything important. 

            "Yes." Kikyo was pursued by the red-eyed girl. 

            Kagura could not believe this. Kikyo was not the type to go out and have sex with anyone. Especially not like this! Wait… "Figuratively or literally?" Yes, that was it; Kikyo had obviously not _slept _with Miroku, just slept with him.

            "Both." Kikyo was filling the kettle with water. She sounded so absent as if it were some small thing that didn't matter. 

            "You…slept with Miroku?" This sunk into Kagura. She felt like she might be sick. Kikyo had slept with another person. "You couldn't have! This is some sort of joke, right Kikyo? Right?" She wanted it to be a joke.

            "Why couldn't I have slept with him? Am I lacking in the usual features of the female genitalia?" Kikyo raised a curious eyebrow at her as she started to get out cups. "Do you want a cup too?" 

            "How could you sleep with him?" Kagura felt betrayed. "You don't love him…" 

            "I wasn't aware that sleeping with another person was considered a crime around here." Kikyo shot at the red-eyed girl. "How is it very different from you and Kouga? He already came out and told you that he feels absolutely nothing for you." 

            "At least I love him! He didn't mean anything to you! And you didn't mean anything to him!" Kagura felt like she might start crying. 

            "Oh, does it hurt?" Kikyo blinked her eyes calmly. Then her face tightened. "How do you think it feels Kagura? How do you think it feels when you sleep with him? You can't keep this up! You know the truth, leave him. He's only using you." 

            "I…I can't…" Kagura looked at her feet shamefully. "I can't just…I can't explain it Kikyo…"

            "Then leave me." Kikyo told her. 

            "I can't do that either!" Kagura grabbed a hold of her, "Don't…don't do this Kikyo…you make it seem…like you don't care about me at all…"

            "How do you think I feel?" Kikyo demanded. 

            "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Kagura threw her arms around Kikyo's waist. "I'm so sorry Kikyo…please…please don't hate me…"

            "I don't hate you. I made that clear. I can forgive any mistake you make." Kikyo hugged her back. "Why do you keep forgetting? You know I hate it when people apologize too much." 

            "Then I can forgive you too." Kagura looked up at Kikyo, kissing her quickly. Kikyo felt a guilty feeling flooding into her. She had needed Kagura's forgiveness as much as Kagura's needed hers. The whole thing had felt wrong but how else could she show Kagura how much she was hurting her?

            _But how can this show Kagura anything? _

_            She's refusing to hate Kouga… _

_            He said he would take her away from me. What if he actually does?_

---------------------

            "What the fuck are you doing here Miroku?" Inuyasha asked after he had opened the door that afternoon. Then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "If you even _say _you have a date with Kagome I will fucking castrate you."

            "No I don't." Miroku took a deep breath. "I've been having a bad day." 

            "Get a girl pregnant?" Inuyasha leaned against the door frame. 

            "_No_." Miroku wondered if hitting Inuyasha wouldn't help him any. It would at least ease some of his frustration. "Can I come in?"

            "Who's here?" Kagome appeared behind Inuyasha. "Oh, Miroku, what are you doing? Come on in." And then she reached passed Inuyasha and led Miroku inside the house. Inuyasha glared at Miroku's back and shut the door in the most threatening manner he could before following them into the kitchen. 

            "Thank the gods that you're here Kagome." Miroku sighed in relief. "That insensitive clod that you must call your adopted brother was probably going to make me stand on the steps all day."

            "I fucking hate you Miroku." Inuyasha muttered but nearly quietly enough because both Miroku and Kagome heard him. Kagome gave him a stern look as they all sat down at the table. 

            "So, what are you doing here?" Kagome asked. "Unless you're here to take Inuyasha on a date and in that case you have my permission."

            "No, as good a girl as Inuyasha makes, I have not come here to take him out." Miroku joked. 

            "Oh really funny. You two are fucking _hysterical_." Inuyasha crossed his arms and glared at them. 

            "I cancelled my dates for the day because my morning was so terrible." Miroku sighed. 

            "Dude, I told Kikyo, I said, 'Don't fuck Miroku, Kagura will kill him' but nooooo, no one listens to me." Inuyasha looked like he had contributed about as much as he could.

            "What?" Kagome looked from Miroku to Inuyasha. "What happened?"

            "Kikyo is in quite the state now-a-days." Miroku looked wistful. "Her and Kagura are having problems, namely that Kagura can't seem to stay away from Kouga." 

            "So…you…" Kagome began to trail off, in her head, two plus two equaled thirty-six and she knew that she already knew what had happened but it was really hard to comprehend. "You had sex with Kikyo?!" 

            "Kikyo is the one who approached me." Miroku offered in his defense. "She wanted me to take her out and then we slept together, my guess as revenge to Kagura." 

            "And now Kagura's trying to kill you?" Inuyasha guessed merrily. 

            "No, something much worse happened." Miroku looked down at his hands. "This morning, Kikyo and I were woken up by the last person I expected to see today." 

            "…your mom?" Inuyasha guessed, squinting his eyes to show how much effort he was putting into his guess. 

            "Inuyasha, maybe you should like, be quiet or something so that Miroku can tell us." Kagome told him in an acidic tone. 

            "Actually, the story is a bit long." Miroku looked sheepish. "Before I went to this school, I lived in a different town and in that town; there was a very wealthy family. They were the Taijiya family." 

            "…so?" Inuyasha felt like he had to add to the story. Kagome kicked him under the table. "Ow, fuck."

            "I went to school with their only daughter, Sango." Miroku continued on. "Then one fateful day, I ran into her in the hall and helped her pick up her papers…"

            _"I'm terribly sorry." Miroku bent and began to pick up the papers that had been strewn about._

_            "Oh no, it's my fault, I didn't see where I was going." He looked up to see the most beautiful pair of dark pink eyes he had ever seen. "You don't have to worry about it…you'll probably be late for class…"_

_            "Surely nothing they could teach me is as important as a beautiful woman who needs my help." Miroku was awed by the young woman in front of him who had just blushed in response to his comment. _

_            "Um, thanks." She smiled tentatively. _

"After that, we fell in love." Miroku paused for a moment as he savored the memory. Kagome sighed at how romantic it sounded and Inuyasha made faces that suggested he was gagging. "I would have done anything for her and I thought she had felt the same. And then she took me home to meet her parents."

            "At first I thought they had liked me but later, when I was returning from the bathroom, I heard the truth."

            _"And what does his family do?" He heard Sango's mother ask. "Where do they live?"_

_            "Why does that matter?" Sango questioned. _

_            "Because you are one of us, one of the Taijiya family. You couldn't possible marry the boy so you might as well break it off now." Her mother told her. "What's the point of leading him on?"_

_            "I'm not!" Sango protested. "I won't! I won't break it off with him mother!"_

_            "You'll do as your mother says." Her father told her sternly. "Don't you understand where this boy is coming from? He is only here because of your money! That is why you must marry someone from a wealthy family, so that you don't get stuck with a financial leech."_

_            "We're not getting married! We're still in high school!" Sango yelled at them. "And he's not a leech. How could you say that?!" _

"It was then that I knew our relationship would cause problems." Miroku went on and Kagome had her hands against her mouth, already fearing the obvious tragic outcome and trying desperately to ignore Inuyasha who was still making faces. Inuyasha didn't understand what the big deal was. How come Miroku only had boring stories about stupid girly-girl tragic romance?

            "So then what happened?" Kagome prompted him on.

            "At first, nothing." Miroku leaned his head against his hands, his elbows propped up on the table. "I thought maybe Sango had convinced her parents that we were really in love. That whether my family made a lot of money or not was not important."

            "And then one day, Sango came to me, kissed me one last time and told me it was over. She said she hadn't really been in love with me and that it was just some silly teenage fling." Miroku hit one of his fists on the table. "She said that it didn't matter and that we could just go our separate ways. A few days later, my dad received a transfer to this town. I thought it was a coincidence since he worked at one of the Taijiya factories. It probably was."

            "What the fuck does this have to do with Kikyo?" Inuyasha seemed completely confused by this turn of events.

            "Inuyasha!" Kagome glared at him. "Don't you see?! _Sango_ was the one who woke Kikyo and Miroku up this morning!" She glanced over at Miroku. "Right?"

            "That is correct." Miroku hung his head in shame. "She had come to find me. To tell me the truth." 

            _"I always thought you deserved the truth."_

_            Why did you come back into my life Sango? _

_            I asked you if you wanted to reopen that wound. _

_            It doesn't matter if you wanted to or not, you already did._

"What was the truth?" Kagome looked near tears, as if she was reading some great romance manga. 

            "Her parents had threatened to fire my dad if she didn't break it off with me." Miroku closed his eyes, remembering the tearful look in her eyes as she told him. She had been angry but at the same time, so sad. "She did it for me."

            "Sounds like you fucked up big time." Inuyasha nodded in a sympathetic manner. 

            "Thank you for that expert opinion on my situation." Miroku glared at him. Then he turned towards Kagome. "We got into an argument this morning and she walked out. I don't think I'll ever see her again."

            "Well…" Kagome bit her lip. "I mean, yes, telling you now was of course going to cause problems. She should have told you exactly what her parents had threatened; maybe you guys could have done something then. You're right, you may never see her again, but that's every bit Sango's fault as it is your own." 

            "Truly, Kagome, you are wise beyond your years." Miroku looked uplifted. 

            "But, at the same time…" Kagome's tone foretold someone getting told off and Inuyasha hoped it wasn't him. He hadn't done anything wrong all day. "You shouldn't have been sleeping with Kikyo."

            "Kikyo's the one who wanted to do it." Inuyasha frowned at Kagome. "She's a big girl; she can make her own fucking choices."

            "She made a really bad choice by doing that." Kagome said in a stern voice. "Miroku, I really can't believe you would sleep with Kikyo when you knew it was just her trying to get back at Kagura." 

            "Miroku sleeps with everyone, it doesn't really matter." Inuyasha shrugged. "Maybe Kagura should stop fucking Kouga."

            "How can you sit there and not care that Kikyo and Miroku made a really bad decision?" Kagome stood up. "Oh I forgot, Inuyasha, you don't care about _anyone_."

            "Shut the fuck up!" Inuyasha stood up, slamming both hands on the table. 

            "It's true isn't it?" Kagome was looking him with that old expression. The hate. The anger. "You obviously don't care enough about Kikyo as a friend to make sure she didn't sleep with Miroku as revenge! And you obviously don't care that Miroku is reaping the worse sort of punishment from this!" 

            "Oh that's right Kagome; I don't give a flying fuck, that's why I'm here listening to Miroku tell his fucking sob story!" Inuyasha snapped at her. "You fucking figured me out!" 

            "You're such a prick to everyone it's amazing you _have _friends! If you can call you and Kikyo friends when you let her do something like that!" Kagome yelled at him. 

            "Fuck you! Like you're some saint?! You were dating Kouga the whole fucking time he was fucking Kagura." Inuyasha roared back.

            "I didn't know!" Kagome threw her hands in the air. "How could I have known, no one told me! You didn't care enough to tell me!" 

            "I told you I wasn't fucking thinking!" Inuyasha tried to defend himself, they had both forgotten Miroku sitting there, watching the exchange. "Even when I do care about you, you don't fucking notice you ungrateful bitch!"

            Kagome smacked Inuyasha across the face with all her might. 

            "You don't care about me! You never have!" Kagome accused him and then ran from the room, bursting into tears as she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. 

            _Why Inuyasha?_

_            Why do you have to do things like that?_

_            Why do you have to say things like that?_

Kagome collapsed on her floor and cried into the floor because she knew that no matter what, Inuyasha and her would fight and hate each other. She tried so hard. It felt like Inuyasha didn't even lift a finger when it came to keeping the tension down between them. 

            _Why can't you just…_

_            "Even when I do care about you…"_

_            When does he care about me?_

_            Is it when he looks at me and I don't see anger in those violet-eyes but something else? Like he wants to reach out but he's too scared to?_

_            "You ungrateful bitch!" _

_            Am I ungrateful?_

_            Do I not notice who you are and what you mean to me often enough? _

_            Have I ever noticed?_

The tears kept coming and Kagome wondered if there would be a day when she and Inuyasha could notice each other without hate.

            Downstairs, Inuyasha was standing there looking extraordinarily like he wanted to start beating on someone. Miroku stood up, his face shadowed by his bangs.

            "I'm sorry I've caused you trouble." Miroku apologized. "If you go to her now—"

            "Please…" Inuyasha's eyes were shut in frustration and anger. "Please just shut up Miroku, okay?" 

            Miroku was taken aback and quickly straightened himself. 

            "Good-bye." Miroku told him and then left. It seemed everywhere he went he only spread confusion and anger. 

            _There is no love left in my heart…_

_            Does it affect others?_

_            Sango…you've stolen my heart and never given it back. But what about your own? Are you strong enough to live out your life and never think of me again?_

------------------------------

            They finished and Kouga collapsed on top of her. Kagura wished he would stay. Maybe if she wished enough this time, he would. It didn't really seem possibly though. He always left. That was the way it went.

            It was their routine. 

            He would come over and they wouldn't talk very much. Anytime Kagura did try to have a conversation with her, he would shut her up as quickly as possible and then they would have sex. 

            Right after that finished, Kagura would watch the digital numbers on her clock. Today was no exception. He always stayed for five minutes, just sort of holding her against him. She had no idea why. He couldn't see the clock but he was always right on time. Always so precise. She should hate him. 

            And yet she didn't. She loved him. 

            _"I can forgive you no matter what mistakes you make." _

_            That's how you're supposed to love someone, right Kikyo?_

_            That's how I love him._

_            Even if he hates me…_

_            I'll let him come over and sleep with me. I'll let him use me like a cheap whore and then let him cast me aside. _

_            Why does he do this? Does he know that I still love him? _

_            Is he still punishing me for what happened so long ago when we were only children?_

Three minutes left. Not much time. Kagura wished she could tell him how much she loved him, wished she could beg him to stay with her. 

            _This is my fault._

_            "How could I ever love a loser like you?" _

_            I didn't understand what Kouga heard in those words._

_            He's right, I'm horrible and selfish. It's my own fault. _

_            But I know what it's like to be alone. _

_            I just forgot when I realized Kikyo and I would be together forever. _

_            Why would I care about a little boy who just wanted someone to care about him?_

_            This is my fault. I deserve this._

Two minutes. Gods, why couldn't he just stay with her? Why did he go? Where did he go? And then Kagura would put on her clothes and go to Kikyo, wanting comfort, wanting the love that only Kikyo could give her. Kikyo who was enduring all this pain silently. She never complained when Kouga came over anymore. She never complained about the way Kagura would smell like Kouga after another visit. She never complained. 

            _I'm making her go through this. _

_            I want to choose. But I can't._

_            I love Kikyo. _

_            And I love Kouga. _

_            I can't live without either. Even when Kouga is like this. _

_            I don't want to cause anymore pain to Kikyo though._

One minute. Please let him change his mind. Stay with her. Talk to her. Not look at her like he hated her. Just to have him look at her like he used to. Even if it wasn't real, Kagura didn't care. 

            It had felt real. 

            Kouga got up and began to dress. Kagura felt like crying all over again. He wasn't paying any attention to the woman who was watching him from under the covers with eyes that were slowly clouding over with tears.

            What she didn't know is that Kouga could no longer stand to see those dark red pools of sorrow. Kouga felt sick. 

            He found himself thinking about Kagura. Always Kagura. And yet he couldn't help but wonder why. He had gotten his revenge. It was all over. Why did he come back? Why did he look forward to hearing her yell his name in pleasure? Why did he look forward to any of it?

            It was like some hateful chore. 

            It didn't feel like a chore until those ending moments when he had to get up and get dressed. Even when he felt like staying there and feeling Kagura against him. To talk to her. But talking could lead to having to admit things out loud that he couldn't even admit to himself. 

            He left, wishing that Kikyo didn't always sit on a specific couch to read so every time he left after doing Kagura, he wouldn't have to see Kikyo's ever watchful eyes. 

            Kagura got dressed slowly. It was time to see Kikyo. Kikyo who would stroke her hair and whisper comforting things to her. Kagura only wished she could make Kikyo see that she was important to Kagura. 

            Kikyo was sitting on a couch, reading. Kagura sat down next to her. When Kikyo looked over, she realized that Kagura was crying. Kikyo couldn't help it; she couldn't sit there and ignore Kagura's tears. She couldn't ignore Kagura no matter how badly she should. 

            "Kagura." Kikyo began and Kagura looked at her with her watery eyes. "Come here." And she patted her lap. Kagura curled up and put her lap on Kikyo's head. Kikyo ran her hands through Kagura's loose hair. It was soft but felt a little sweaty. She tried to forget that Kagura had been with Kouga only moments before.

            "Why is it like this?" Kagura asked in a small voice.

            "Shhhh…" Kikyo stroked her hair. "Don't be sad, you don't want to look bad for him, do you?"

            "I love you Kikyo." Kagura told her, covering Kikyo's hand for a moment. "You're always here, even when it hurts."

            "That's the way love is." Kikyo spoke wisely. "You're with that person even when it hurts."

----------------------------

            At school on Monday, Inuyasha and Kagome were still not talking. They didn't make off with the car as they did back in the old days but they didn't speak to each other at all. Inuyasha was pissed that Kagome had appointed herself Lord of All Morales. Kagome was pissed that Inuyasha was Lord of No Morales and for his hateful words. 

            At school, they met up with the group in the early morning in the hallways. As usual, things weren't going well. Inuyasha was pretty much just glaring at everyone; Kagura was standing between Kikyo and Kouga, not looking the least bit happy. Miroku was just looking down at his feet.

            "So…how was everyone's weekend?" Kagome tried to ask cheerfully. There was some grumbling in reply and Kagura looked ready to burst into tears. 

            _Okay, wrong question._

_            This group has way too many problems._

It was funny that Kagome thought that because at that moment, another problem was going to come that way. Funnily enough, Kagome noticed her first. A girl, about her height with dark hair and dark pink eyes was walking that way. Kagome thought she was pretty and also that she didn't know her.

            Kikyo noticed her second and cleared her throat loudly so that everyone looked up at her. Miroku glanced passed Kikyo and saw Sango. 

            "Sango…" The name escaped from his mouth and Kagome turned to look at him and then back at the girl he was staring at. 

            "Sango?" Kagome said it a little loudly and the girl turned towards her. Then those dark pink eyes focused on the rest of the group, mainly Miroku. Her eyes narrowed to a glare and she kept walking.

            "What a bitch." Inuyasha commented. Kagome hit him in the shoulder. "What? She looked like a bitch to me." 

            "Shut up Inuyasha." Miroku rubbed his temples. "What is she doing here…?" He seemed to be asking himself.

            "I'll be right back!" Kagome excused herself and went running after Sango. Miroku wanted to stop her and Inuyasha was right back to glaring. 

            "Who the hell was that?" Kouga asked out loud. 

            "Miroku's fucking tragedy Ann girlfriend." Inuyasha told them all, looking very bitter. 

            "Shut _up_ Inuyasha." Miroku's voice held warning in it. 

            "You have a girlfriend?" Kagura asked in amazement. "Wow, no wonder she doesn't like you."

            "I don't have a girlfriend." Miroku's mood did not seem to be improving. "If I did, I would be faithful to her and her exclusively." Kagura looked as though Miroku had just slapped her across the face. 

            "Maybe I could sleep with her and then we'd be even." Kagura countered hotly. 

            "Holy shit, Kagura's gonna kick the crap out of Miroku." Inuyasha looked fairly interested in it. Like it was a scientific experiment. "My money's on Kagura." 

            "Why is Kagura going to kick the crap out of Miroku?" Kouga asked. 

            "'Cause he slept with Kikyo." Inuyasha answered calmly. Kikyo sent him such a scathing glare that he wondered if she wanted to murder him more then she wanted to murder Kouga. 

            "You slept with Miroku?" Kouga's jaw dropped. 

            "It's funny what a person will do sometimes when someone else is sleeping with their loved one." Kikyo gave him a look that told him he had no room to talk.

            "Please…stop." Kagura had her brows furrowed and her eyes closed. "Just stop." 

            "Misery loves company." Kouga glared at Kikyo. 

            "That's funny, I wasn't aware of you having friends." Kikyo arched her eyebrows. 

            "If you two get in a fist fight, my money's on Kikyo." Inuyasha announced. "But you guys have to wait until Kagura and Miroku duke it out. Miroku's gonna get his ass kicked, he's a total pansy."

            At that moment, a historic event occurred. 

            Miroku was a calm person. He very, very rarely resorted to violence. But sometimes, a person can only take so much. 

            Miroku's fist connected with Inuyasha's jaw and Inuyasha fell to the ground. 

            "I told you to shut up." Miroku glared at him and then walked off. Inuyasha was pissed. If not for Kouga and Kagura suddenly grabbing his arms, they were sure Inuyasha was going to run and tackle Miroku. 

            "Like this group needs any more conflicts." Kikyo sighed to herself.

-------------------------

            "Okay, wait, who are you?" Sango asked in confusion. Kagome had come up to her and set into what might have been an attempt at a ten minute explanation of all that she could. 

            "I'm Higurashi Kagome." Kagome stuck out her hand. "I said that didn't I?"

            "And you're friends with Miroku?" Sango looked at her suspiciously. 

            "Yeah." Kagome nodded. 

            "Just friends?" Sango pressed, raising an eyebrow. 

            "Yeah." Kagome seemed confused by this questioning. "Oh. You don't have to worry; I'm not interested in Miroku at all. Though I can't say I really blame you for asking, he goes after anything with eyelashes."

            "Ah." Sango didn't look all that pleased with that last comment. "And you know the whole story already because Miroku told you?"

            "Yeah." Kagome nodded once more. 

            "Okay then." Sango shrugged. "Now what?"

            "Well, I mean shouldn't the two of you talk?" Kagome asked. "'Cause it sounds like you really hurt him and I know he just really hurt you but maybe—"

            "Thank you Kagome." Miroku had appeared by her. "I really don't need your help in this situation.

            "I was—" Kagome was cut off again.

            "You might want to go check on your adopted brother." He informed her, giving her a look that plainly said he wanted her to go. 

            "Okay." Kagome looked confused but she left. Miroku and Sango were left there. 

            "Why are you here?" Miroku asked her. 

            "I go to school here now." Sango looked away, crossing her arms. 

            "The whole family move into town?" Miroku raised her eyebrows at her. 

            "No." Sango shook her head. "Just me."

            "What happened? They didn't buy you the car you wanted or something?" Miroku snapped at her. 

            "I'm here for you." Sango looked at him sharply. 

            "Good luck with that." Miroku rolled his eyes. "I guess we weren't just a fling then?"

            "I only said that because…because…I didn't want you to…" Sango trailed off. 

            "You didn't want me anymore? Not much fun once you got it, was it?" Miroku raised his eyebrows. 

            "That's not what I meant!" Sango insisted. "Let me finish my sentence you insensitive...anyways, I didn't want you to try and come back for me because my parents were threatening you and your dad."

            "Well don't worry, I won't." Miroku turned to walk off. 

            "Then listen to this Houshi Miroku: I'm in love with you and it hurt too much to say good-bye then so don't think I can say good-bye now." Sango turned and stalked off. Miroku turned to say something but she was already rounding the corner. 

            _Don't be a fool Miroku._

_            You said it was the past yourself. _

_            Why do you want to bring it all back up?_

_            But she's here and claiming she's in love with you. _

_            What will you do Miroku? _

----------------------------

            Sango was so glad her first day of school was over that she nearly cried. She was ready to go home and take a nap, maybe get some really good green tea and watch TV. 

            _You should get some cats. _

_            That'll be fitting when you live all by yourself._

_            Why am I even here? Do I really think that if I'm stubborn enough, he'll just come to? _

_            Great plan there Sango. _

"Hey." Sango looked up to see Kagome standing there looking curious. She sincerely hoped Kagome wasn't stalking her so she could try and corner her into talking to Miroku again. 

            "Hello." Sango couldn't be mean to the wide-eyed girl. She just seemed so nice. 

            "I know earlier today was kind of weird…" Kagome wrung her hands. "Maybe we should try that again? I'm Higurashi Kagome." She held out her hand again.

            "I'm Taijiya Sango." Sango shook her hand. "So tell me Higurashi-san, what's this school like?"

            "Haha, um it's okay." Kagome shrugged. "Well not with this group. Not right now." Kagome noticed the look on Sango's face. "Don't worry; it's not _your_ fault." 

            "That's good to know, though I'm sure already apart of some of the problems." Sango sighed, she was so tired. Maybe it was the exhaustion that was already setting on her from all the work she already knew she was going to have to do. Miroku hated her. 

            "Have you seen Miroku?" Inuyasha appeared in front of Kagome and Sango. 

            "No." Kagome shook her head. Then she looked at him with a speculative look. "You're going to go get in a fistfight with him, aren't you?"

            "That fucker punched me!" Inuyasha reminded her. "What the fuck am I suppose to do? Let him get away with it?"

            "Well, Inuyasha, think about this way: Did you deserve it?" Kagome asked in a hesitant voice. 

            "Of course not! I'll I did was call Miroku a pansy." Inuyasha folded his arms. "It's true."

            "I've never seen Miroku hit anyone before…" Sango sounded as though she were in awe. "You must have _really _pissed him off." 

            "Inuyasha, I'm willing to bet you deserved it." Kagome gave him a small closed mouth smile with her eyebrows raised. 

            "You guys _always _take his fucking side." Inuyasha pouted. "I bet if I could recite poetry and shit, everyone would be on my side."

            "Then maybe you should learn some." Kagome gave him a humorless look. 

            "Give me the keys." Inuyasha held out his hand.

            "What? No." Kagome clutched the keys in her hands. 

            "I want to drive, give me the fucking keys." Inuyasha insisted. 

            "You shouldn't drive angry." Kagome reminded him. "I better drive." 

            "Let me fucking drive." Inuyasha held out his hand further as though this would convince Kagome to hand over the keys. "I've got a fucking surprise for you." 

            "You…do?" Kagome was so shocked that she held out the keys dumbly.

            "Well, kinda." Inuyasha mumbled. "Just something I thought I'd fucking show you so you'd stop being mad at me." Kagome's mouth went dry.

            _He doesn't…he's not mad anymore…_

_            He just wants to be friends…_

_            He wants to make up._

"Well, lead on then. Nice talking to you Sango." Kagome winked at the girl. Sango waved, wondering what was up with those two.

            _Cute couple anyways._

_            Even if they look like they like to argue all the time._

She found herself face to face with Kikyo who had to stop abruptly to miss her. Sango wasn't sure what to make of the girl. She had slept with Miroku but at the same time, Kikyo didn't seem like she was really _interested _in Miroku. 

            "Careful." Kikyo told her in an emotionless tone. 

            "Sorry." Sango gave her a tiny smile and stepped around her. Kikyo watched her go out of the corner of her eye. 

            _She seems nice. _

"Hey, there's that Sango chick!" Kagura glomped Kikyo's back. Kikyo nearly fell over. "What cha' up to Kikyo?"

            "Going home." Kikyo smiled. "And you?"

            "Home!" Kagura cheered. "Oh, can we stop and get mochas or something?" 

            "I suppose so." Kikyo shrugged. "If that's what you want to do." 

            "Mochas!" Kagura exclaimed happily. "Shall we?" The two girls walked off together. 

            _It's almost like it used to be. _

_            Almost._

------------------------------

            "You took me to a pizza place?" Kagome looked at Inuyasha quizzically. 

            "Just wait." Inuyasha looked a little annoyed that she wasn't more impressed. "I thought maybe you and Rin would like to hang out and stuff so I invited her to meet me here after school and—oh fuck."

            Kagome followed Inuyasha's gaze to a booth where Rin was sitting quite happily—With Sesshomaru. 

            "Why the fuck is he _always _with her? Doesn't he have friends or a life or something?" Inuyasha groaned. "Does he have to constantly stalk my sister?" 

            "Come on, it'll be okay." Kagome patted his shoulder. Inuyasha looked at her for a brief moment and looked like he was about to say something but he shut his mouth again and went to go sit with Sesshomaru and Rin. 

            When they were seated and Inuyasha shot Sesshomaru an evil look, the talk began.

            "Hi Kagome!" Rin looked happy, not the forced cheerfulness that Kagome had last seen but genuine happiness. She wondered when the change had occurred and why it had. 

            "Hi Rin! Hi Sesshomaru!" Kagome greeted them both as Inuyasha muttered hello to Rin. 

            "Are you guys hungry?" Rin asked the two. Inuyasha stood up.

            "I am, what do you guys want?" Inuyasha pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "My treat." Sesshomaru immediately stood.

            "No, no, it will be my treat. Please, sit." Sesshomaru gave Inuyasha a smile which Kagome thought was more like baring his teeth. 

            "No, my treat." Inuyasha growled. Rin looked a bit worried and Kagome knew she had to step in _before_ any attempts to prove anyone' masculinity became a real problem.

            "I've got it." Kagome volunteered. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha just looked at her. 

            "Okay." Rin agreed, looking a little relieved. Kagome winked at her. 

            They gave Kagome their orders and after Inuyasha had tried to protest one last time, Kagome went and got the food. They sat there discussing stuff until Sesshomaru pointed out him and Rin should be getting home. 

            Inuyasha and Sesshomaru shared one last dirty look; Rin hugged Inuyasha and Kagome and then went off with the stoic white-haired man. Inuyasha and Kagome went home as well. 

            Inuyasha and Kagome ended up on the couch, watching TV. It was during a pizza commercial that Kagome voiced her thoughts.

            "You know, it's really cool how you and Rin were adopted by different families but you guys still spend lots of time with each other." Kagome told Inuyasha.

            "Well…yeah…" Inuyasha's face flushed. "I mean, Rin's my sister and I care about her." 

            "It just makes me feel like we wasted so much time fighting with each other when we should have been you know, being siblings. It makes me sad to think that someone who makes such a good brother was there the whole time." Kagome confessed in a wistful sort of way. 

            Before she realized what was happening, Inuyasha had his lips pressed up against hers. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. She was surprised and she supposed she meant to push him away but it just felt…so right. 

            _Wait, I'm kissing Inuyasha. What's going on?  
  
_

And in her daze, she pushed him away. 

            "W-what was that about?" Kagome asked, her face going beet red. Inuyasha turned his head to the side and tried his best not to look embarrassed. 

            "Nothing." Inuyasha immediately came out with. "I mean, fuck. I just felt like it."

            "Well you should have asked." Kagome became a bit indignant.

            "It was just a fucking kiss." Inuyasha now had his arms folded and was trying his best not to look at Kagome.

            "Without my permission!" Kagome insisted. "You should have asked!"

            "Oh what, did Kouga ask you?" Inuyasha was _pissed_. "It was a fucking kiss Kagome." 

            "You should have asked!" Kagome repeated. "You could have warned me! Didn't even think about what I wanted! How does that make it any different from rape?" 

            Now she supposed she had been a bit hysterical and blowing it a bit out of proportion. But then she realized she had just said the worst thing possible at the moment. 

            "You know what?" Inuyasha stood up. "I fucking take it back! I don't know what the fuck I was thinking!" 

            "You can't take it back! You already did it!" Kagome stood up as well. 

            "What the fuck do you want from me then?!" Inuyasha asked her. "What the fuck do you want?"

            "I-I…" Kagome tried to think but with being confronted with that question she found her mind had gone completely blank. 

            "You fucking figure it out before you start sitting there saying crazy shit about rape." Inuyasha started to walk out of the room but Kagome stopped him.

            "You're the one who doesn't know what he wants! Why the hell did you kiss me?" Kagome demanded to know. 

            "None of your goddamn business! Why the hell would you care? Are you going to solve all my problems?" Inuyasha yelled at her. "You can't solve your own goddamn problems!" 

            "At least I try to help other people!" Kagome was so angry she didn't know what to do. "You just cut people down and you're horrible to everyone!"

            "Fuck you; you don't know anything about me!" Inuyasha shouted. "You don't know anything about _any _of us!"

            "Because I wasn't there in your stupid orphanage?!" Kagome questioned. "Because my parents didn't abandon me?" Inuyasha whirled and grabbed her arms, slamming her body against a wall. Kagome winced. 

            "You don't know what the fuck you're saying!" Inuyasha yelled and Kagome saw that there were actually tears forming in Inuyasha's eyes. Her mouth opened. Why had she just said that? "What are you? Some sort of sadistic bitch? Do you think that's fucking funny?! Do you enjoy this or something?!"

            "Inuyasha—" Kagome tried to interrupt, tried to say something. What had she said? 

            "I fucking feel sorry for Kouga, who knows what the fuck you were going to do to him?! Good thing he never fucking told you anything!" Inuyasha roared. 

            "He was a lot better then you!" Kagome struggled against Inuyasha's fierce grip.

            "You…you…" Inuyasha was shaking with anger. "You goddamn _whore_!" And he let go of her. 

            _"You goddamn whore!" _

It was just echoing in her head. How could he say that? Did they really hate each other so much? When they were friends? He wanted to apologize earlier…and now…and now nothing could repair it. 

            "Fine. FINE!" Kagome screamed. "I'll make what you say true!" Then she ran out of the living room and a few moments later, Inuyasha heard the car starting. He ran towards the window but it was too late, Kagome was gone. 

            _For a moment…I thought…_

_            I thought you were beautiful…_

_            I just wanted to show you…how beautiful you can be…_

_            I'm such a fuck-up. Why the hell would you want someone like me to care? _

_            And where the hell are you going?  
  
_

------------------------

            Kagome had tears still streaming down her face as she knocked on Miroku's door, completely hysterical and having no idea why she was there. Why didn't she go somewhere else? But then…where would she go? 

            "Just one moment." Miroku's voice sing-songed and he opened the door. Good smells wafted towards her as he did. Was he cooking something? "Kagome!" 

            "Can I come in Miroku?" Kagome started crying harder and Miroku quickly hugged her and led her inside. He sat her down in a chair and promised to be right back. He went somewhere else in the apartment. 

            "Yes, terribly sorry but it seems my friend is having some problems…" Miroku was telling someone. "Another time perhaps?" 

            Miroku came back into the room and Kagome saw through her blurry eyes she was in a small kitchen-dining area. Miroku was doing something, most likely cooking. 

            "You came just in time. I hope you like pasta." Miroku grinned at her. "Of course, it was a bit of an inconvenience of you not to call first. I was in an awkward position there for a few moments." 

            "I'm sorry." Kagome whispered. "It's just…it's just…" 

            "Okay, okay," Miroku came and put his arms around her again. "Tears don't really suit you Kagome." Kagome almost smiled. "You seem rather upset and maybe you should calm down…"

            "Oh Miroku." Kagome hugged him back, still sniffling. "It was so horrible, I was so horrible. And Inuyasha was…"

            "I want you to take a deep breath." Miroku pulled away to look at her. "Take two deep breaths. Do you want some wine? It's really good with pasta. Or I could get you some water or some tea."

            "Wine." Kagome decided. 

            "Alright…" Miroku looked a tad bit hesitant but complied. He handed her the glass and Kagome took a small sip of it. She hadn't really had very much wine before. It was a bit soothing though. 

            Then she remembered. 

            _"I'll make what you say true." _

Kagome put the glass down. Miroku raised his eyebrows at her. 

            "Don't like it?" Miroku obviously thought that was the problem. "Or do you want to tell me why it is that you're so upset?"

            "I don't want to talk about that." Kagome got up and put her arms around him. "Make me forget Miroku. Make me forget." 

            "Kagome—" Miroku was cut off. 

            "Please Miroku…please." Kagome held tighter. "Make me forget about all that right now." And Miroku who couldn't refuse her led her to his bedroom. 

---------------------------

            "Where's Kagome?" Noduko asked Inuyasha that night at dinner. 

            "I don't know and I don't give a flying fuck." Inuyasha answered. 

            "Inuyasha! Try to watch your language at the dinner table!" Yasumu reprimanded. 

            "I thought you and Kagome were getting along." Noduko sighed, it really seemed like they had been becoming friends. 

            "That's her own fuck—I mean, it's her own fault." Inuyasha corrected himself as Noduko gave him a sharp look. "She ran off somewhere."

            "I'm just getting worried. She usually checks in." Noduko looked about in worry. "Did she say anything…?"

            "Look, I don't know where the fuck she is!" Inuyasha stood up. "She's probably somewhere making a big deal out of something stupid. It was a fucking _kiss_."

            "What?" Noduko was confused but Inuyasha had already left the room. 

            "I have a feeling something rather troubling happened." Yasumu took a deep breath. "Kagome probably got upset and went to a friend's house, we shouldn't worry." 

------------------------

            _Dear Miroku,_

_                        As it's impossible to have a conversation with you and your phone seems to malfunction whenever I call, I've decided to write you instead. I saw you leave this afternoon with a girl. And it hurt. _

_            I know that you hate me right now. I know that you want to hurt me as much as I hurt you. But maybe we should think about this. Is it worth more pain? _

_            You probably won't answer this letter but I was thinking that if we could just sit down and talk for a little while…I think that would be best. _

_                                    Love always,_

_                                         Sango_

            Sango re-read the letter and then put it into an envelope and then taped it to Miroku's front door. Just as she was doing so, the door started to open and she quickly jumped to one side and tried to hide in the shadows. 

            "I'll see you at school Kagome." Miroku's voice was telling the girl. Sango's eyes widened.

            _Kagome! But I thought she said…_

"Yeah, see you Miroku." Kagome's voice told Miroku and Sango could see Miroku kissing Kagome's cheek and then he closed the door as Kagome turned away. 

            "Kagome?" Sango stepped out of the shadows. 

            "Sango?!" Kagome spotted her and her eyes grew round. "What…?" 

            "I was here to deliver a letter." Sango went and quickly taped the letter to Miroku's door. "What are you doing here?" 

            "I…" Kagome looked down at her feet. "You'll hate me…" 

            "Oh." Sango felt a sinking feeling in her chest. 

            "I didn't…" Kagome looked like she might start crying. "I'm sorry Sango!" 

            "You don't really have to apologize." Sango told her. "He's screwing half the school; one more person isn't going to upset me." 

            "But now…now it's true! What he said is true!" Kagome began to cry and Sango put a hand on her shoulder. "He'll hate me forever now."

            "Who will?" Sango asked curiously. 

            "Inuyasha." Kagome whispered the name even though it seemed to bring her a lot of pain. "He'll hate me forever when he finds out…" 

            "Then don't tell him." Sango thought back. Inuyasha was obviously that boy she had seen today. "He looks like the type who would immediately kill Miroku and then I would be mad. That's my job." Kagome laughed a little through her tears. 

            "I'm really sorry Sango, I wasn't thinking." Kagome apologized again. "Maybe I was too quick to judge Kikyo." 

            "Why don't we go get some mochas?" Sango felt herself not hating Kagome at all. It was strange. "You look like you could use one."

---------------------

            He felt guilty.

            It was one of the first times that he truly recognized he shouldn't have slept with a woman. 

            _I should have said no. I should have made her talk about it. _

_            Shit._

Miroku hit his fist on the wall and decided there was only one thing to do. Go confess to Inuyasha. If Inuyasha kicked the shit out of him, it was what he deserved at the moment. 

            He walked out the door and saw a letter attached to it. Sango. That didn't make him feel any better. 

            Miroku didn't bother to read the letter; he just stumbled down the stairs and into his car. He wasn't sure if he was doing the smartest thing but he had to do it. Kikyo had been different. She hadn't been so emotional. She was being clear-headed about it. Kagome clearly wasn't in any sort of state to be making decisions like that. 

            _Good job Miroku. You've proven what an absolute ass you can be. _

_            How can you reprimand Inuyasha for being insensitive when what you've done is far worse?_

Arriving at the Higurashi house, he realized it was a bit late but with luck, Inuyasha would be up. Inuyasha and Kagome's car wasn't in the driveway but Miroku figured that Kagome was the one who had it. Why wasn't she back yet? 

            Miroku knocked on the door and Inuyasha was the one who answered it. From the pissed off look on his face, Miroku wasn't sure it would be very good for his health if he told Inuyasha what had transpired. 

            "What the fuck do you want?" Inuyasha asked him. 

            "I need to talk to you." Miroku sighed. "It's about Kagome."

            "Look, I don't care what the fuck she said, she fucking _started_ it." Inuyasha began in. 

            "Please. Can I come in?" Miroku asked. "We need to talk privately." 

            "Come on." Inuyasha was vaguely curious about what the hell Miroku was doing here and what the hell it had to do with Kagome. But then, who knew? 

            Inuyasha led him to his very messy room and sat down in a chair, Miroku sat across from him on the bed. 

            "Kagome came over." Miroku informed him. 

            "She fucking told you her sob story?" Inuyasha inquired. "It was just a fucking kiss!" 

            "Actually, no, she didn't want to talk about it." Miroku knew he was going to have to tell the violet-eyed boy. "She…well…and I…" 

            "No." Inuyasha's mouth opened in surprise. "You didn't…you fucking slept with Kagome?!"

            "Yes." Miroku admitted. "After it was over, I realized what a shitty thing that was to do. And now I feel horrible and I came to tell you myself what had happened. She was upset. She was so angry and sad and she was thinking about your fight, not what it might do to the two of you." 

            Inuyasha just stared at him. Then his face tightened with anger and he balled up a fist which Miroku assumed was going to hit him and tried to not make himself wince. Inuyasha threw the punch but deliberately missed, hitting the wall next to Miroku's head. 

            Miroku was amazed. It had probably taken every ounce of Inuyasha's self-control not to start beating the shit out of him right then and there. He was surprised Inuyasha hadn't immediately tried to kill him with his bare hands. 

            "Son of a BITCH!" Inuyasha was shaking. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" 

            "Inuyasha…" Miroku wasn't sure what to tell the violet-eyed young man right then. 

            "I'm just a big fucking joke to her!" Inuyasha hit the wall again. "Fuck her, just fuck her." Miroku opened his mouth to say something. "Don't fucking say one more goddamn word Miroku! Just get out!" Inuyasha ordered. Miroku did leave. 

-----------------------

            It was obvious he knew. 

            Kagome felt as though she had somehow betrayed him. That somehow she had damaged the whole relationship beyond repair. 

            _How does he know?_

_            Did Miroku tell him?_

Instead of insulting her or getting into another fight, Inuyasha was strangely indifferent to her. He never spoke to her. He was actually really cold. Sometimes, like when they were driving to school together (Kagome let him drive), she could tell from the way he would start gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white that he was holding it all in. 

            And she knew he would do something. What that was, she had no idea. 

            Sango seemed to have forgiven her after Kagome told her the whole story. In fact, Kagome told her all about what was going on with the group. Sango herself seemed amazed that a group of six people (excluding herself) could create such a mess. But then, Sango had to admit that her and Miroku had created a pretty big mess all by themselves. She continued her letter sending and gifts, as that was the way that Miroku had wooed her.

            They brought no response. 

            Kagura, Kikyo, and Kouga seemed to be in such a messed up relationship that no one knew how to help them. Kikyo seemed to be resigned to the fact that Kagura was going to leave her, despite Kagura's protests. Kagura really did love Kikyo but at the same time, she was in love with Kouga. There seemed no way to solve this problem.

            Kouga grew quieter and more sullen every day. With so many problems going on in one group, no one knew what to think. Inuyasha couldn't deal with what Kagome had done and anytime someone tried to bring up Kagome he would snap at them to shut the hell up. Miroku didn't even try. 

            What was going to happen to them? They all hesitated in the face of the future. All things come to an end. At least, that's what everyone was hoping.

---------------------

            Two weeks of this behavior and Inuyasha knew he was going to burst at any second. So he went to spend time with a friend. Someone who might just understand what he was going through. 

            Kikyo listened patiently over a cup of tea in Inuyasha's room. She was sitting on his bed, her hair in a loose ponytail and wearing her usual long-sleeves and long black pants. As soon as she had come over, Inuyasha had made her tea, because he knew Kikyo liked it and because he supposed he was trying to be courteous to the girl whose significant other was sleeping another man. It seemed they had something in common. 

            When he finished, Kikyo seemed to be thinking rather hard, her dark brows furrowed as she paused in the moment. 

            "The main problem between the two of you is that you don't stop to think about something _before_ you say it." Kikyo told him. "You two get into these arguments while you're angry and you just let whatever you want come out." 

            "So?" Inuyasha kicked at something on the ground. 

            "Then you two take extreme offense to the things that came out when you weren't thinking. And you continue to have skirmishes like this." Kikyo took a deep breath. "If you two would just be honest to each other—"

            "I've _tried_!" Inuyasha protested. 

            "Then you also have to let Kagome be honest with herself!" Kikyo reprimanded him. "Kagome's in turmoil but she's playing the coward. You'll have to think of some way to get her to talk to you, even if it ends up being Kagome just yelling at you. You should just listen to her." 

            "She won't listen to me." Inuyasha looked confused. 

            "She will once she has all the initial stuff out of her system." Kikyo waved a dismissive hand. "Kagome has to come to terms with herself before she can see you for you."

            "When she said…when she says things…that are nice…" Inuyasha tried to find the words. "Her whole face lights up…and I think about how she should always be like that. I want her to always have that look on her face." 

            "I know what you mean." Kikyo smiled sadly, yet fondly as the image of a laughing Kagura passed in her mind. Kagura hadn't laughed in so long. All her smiles so forced. 

            "Does that mean…that I…?" Inuyasha looked at Kikyo quizzically. 

            "Does it mean what?" Kikyo cocked her head to one side.

            "Am I…you know…in love with her?" Inuyasha finally got out, looking partially terrified of the thought. It was little wonder, Kikyo thought to herself. The poor boy had very little in the way of love in his life. 

            "What do you think?" Kikyo asked him seriously.

            "Fuck." Inuyasha leaned back and groaned on his computer chair. "I don't know anymore. It doesn't matter anyway; she doesn't like me at all. She made that pretty clear." He got up and flopped down on the bed next to Kikyo. 

            "You don't know that." Kikyo tried to be encouraging. 

            "Yeah I do." Inuyasha insisted and Kikyo heard a slight creak in his voice that could only mean one thing. Her eyes widened. There was no way. "No one will ever love me." 

            "What are you talking about?" Kikyo asked him. "What about your little sister?"

            "She has a different older brother that she loves…fuck, I mean, I couldn't make her happy and she wouldn't leave with me…" Inuyasha's hair was hiding his face but Kikyo knew he had tears in his eyes. "Fuck…" And Inuyasha saw the faces of his long deceased parents, Rin's face, Kagome's face…

            A cool, slim, comforting hand covered his own. Inuyasha was surprised by Kikyo's caring actions. Though he supposed they were in the same boat. A tear fell down on that hand. 

            "Somewhere, someone loves you. Do you think that where your parents are, they aren't thinking of you and Rin?" Kikyo asked him. Inuyasha looked up at Kikyo for a moment. 

            "Why does it hurt so bad?" Inuyasha wanted to wipe his tears away; he didn't want Kikyo to see him like this. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. It was like the wound Kagome had made was ripped right open. 

            "If it didn't, it wouldn't be love." Kikyo smiled gently. Inuyasha threw his arms around Kikyo and hugged her to him. Kikyo sensed his need for contact and put her arms around him, hugging him back. 

            _Thank you Kikyo…_

_            You only know these things because she can be so painful to love. _

_            Sharing the pain…_

He looked up at her and before he could stop himself, he kissed her. Kikyo stiffened for a moment. Then Inuyasha broke it. 

            "Kikyo…" Inuyasha looked into the eyes of the girl who had grown up with. It struck him how much Kikyo looked like Kagome. "Kikyo…" 

            "I know." Kikyo smiled. "I know." And he kissed her again. And again. 

            Inuyasha had never had sex before and he knew part of him was getting revenge on Kagome by having sex with Kikyo. But then, he knew that Kikyo understood him. She knew that this wasn't a relationship thing. They were friends. They were good friends; Kikyo could even qualify as one of his best friends. 

            He loved her as a friend. And that's exactly how Kikyo loved him. 

            He needed this. 

            And Kikyo was the only one who could help him with it. 

-----------------------

            Later, after Kikyo had gone home, wishing him the best of luck with Kagome, Inuyasha went into the kitchen to make himself a Hot Pocket. Of course Kagome came into the kitchen. She was curious about his change of clothes since it was late afternoon on a Saturday. She knew Kikyo had been over earlier but had left.

            Inuyasha was wearing drawstring pants and a loose Offspring t-shirt, watching the microwave with his violet-eyes. He was standing up just a little taller, as though he had a weight lifted off his shoulders.

            "Hi." Kagome greeted him tentatively. "What are you doing?"

            "Making a Hot Pocket." Inuyasha grunted. It was the first time he had spoken to her for two weeks. "I'm fucking hungry."

            "So…why was Kikyo here?" Kagome couldn't help inquiring. 

            "Talking." Inuyasha shrugged. 

            "That's it?" Kagome blinked her large eyes. 

            "What the hell?" Inuyasha turned on her. "What are you, my fucking mom? Okay, you wanna know?" He didn't wait for her to say anything. "She came over here and we had sex, happy now?"

            "YOU HAD SEX WITH KIKYO?!" Kagome's eyes went round as she yelled it in surprise. 

            "Why the fuck would you care?" Inuyasha's Hot Pocket was finished. He remembered Kikyo's advice. Just let her yell. He would have to exercise some self-control not to answer back. 

            "You know you sat there ignoring me because of what I did and you went and did the same thing!" Kagome started and Inuyasha had never so badly wanted to talk back to her before in his life. "I can't believe you! Like that would solve your problems?! And Kikyo is never going to get anywhere with her own problems if she keeps doing that! Maybe Kagura would stop sleeping with Kouga if Kikyo wasn't such a—"

            "Don't you fucking finish that sentence." Inuyasha glared at her. It was a very dangerous tone. "If you do, I'll never fucking talk to you again. Say whatever the hell you want about me but drag Kikyo into this." 

            "Oh! Let's protect precious little Kikyo!" Kagome felt angry and betrayed and…well, everything Inuyasha must have felt two weeks ago. She had done the same thing but she couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle the fact that Inuyasha had found his comfort somewhere else, not with her. 

            "Whatever." Inuyasha stalked off into his room. He was not going to sit there and take it. But neither was Kagome. 

            She got into her car, started up the engine and started driving. She knew where Kagura and Kikyo lived. And now she was going to go there and tell Kikyo _exactly _what she thought of her. 

            Ringing the doorbell, a maid let her in and Kagome marched inside to find Kikyo in the kitchen, making tea. She had just poured herself a cup. Kagome came in and knocked it out of Kikyo's hand. The teacup shattered and tea went everywhere.

            "How dare you?!" Kagome yelled at her. "You like ruining other people's lives, don't you? First Sango, now me!" Kikyo seemed to be ignoring her and standing there, almost looking through her. "You can't just sleep with people to take your mind off Kagura!"

            "That's the pot calling the kettle black." Kikyo seemed rather calm, enraging Kagome. 

            "And that gives you an excuse to be a total whore?!" Kagome asked her angrily. "No wonder Kagura's sleeping with someone else, you're completely cold-hearted! You just go around and—" Someone tapped Kagome on the shoulder and Kagome turned around viciously. 

            She was greeted with someone slapping her across the face with their full strength.

            "Don't you _ever_, _ever_, call Kikyo a whore!" Kagura was breathing hard in her anger, her hand still in the air from hitting Kagome. Kagome stared at the red-eyed girl horror. 

            "You're an idiotic selfish girl who…who doesn't know what it's like not to be loved!" Kagura glared at her, looking like she might hit her again. "If you don't get out of here in five seconds, I'll rip your fucking hair out!" Kagome took one last look at Kikyo and practically ran from the house. 

            _Who doesn't know what it's like not to be loved?_

_            Is there anyone who doesn't know what that's like? _

_            How can Kagura defend her? _

Back in the house, Kikyo began cleaning up the teacup. Kagura closed her eyes for a moment and then after taking a calming breath, started helping her. 

            "You slept with Inuyasha?" Kagura wasn't really asking. It was more of a statement. "I can see why. Living with that bitch, the boy probably _needed _to get laid." Kagura's forced smile almost broke Kikyo's heart.

            "Sometimes people really need their friends." Kikyo gathered up the last few pieces of china. "They always comfort you." 

            "Especially when the one you want most to can't." Kagura pricked her finger on a stray piece that had a sharpened edge. She stared in wonder at the small drop of blood. Kikyo took her hand and put the finger to her lips. 

            "I knew you would understand." Kikyo closed her eyes, the salty taste of Kagura's blood on her lips. "I didn't do it this time for revenge. Just to tell him that people _did _care about him."

            "It's okay." Kagura smiled at the pale girl. "Who am I to say anything?" 

-------------------------

            Sango wanted to throw up. Miroku walked away from the group the following Thursday with a girl at the end of the day. She had no doubt what they were going to do but it still hurt her. He didn't respond to anything she had done so far. 

            The rest of the group departed. Kagome hadn't even stopped but just waved at Sango. Sango looked at the others to see Inuyasha trying to obviously ignore Kagome and Kagura glaring murderously at the blue-eyed girl. Kikyo didn't even seem to notice. Kouga looked like he had no idea where he was.

            "I'm going home." Kagura finally spoke up. Kouga perked up immediately and Kikyo's mouth twitched in an irritated fashion. 

            "I suppose we should be going." Kikyo put a possessive arm around Kagura's waist and the two walked off together. Kouga wasn't far behind them.

            "Those three are so fucked up." Inuyasha snorted. "Some problems just can't be fucking solved."

            "I know what that's like." Sango could see Miroku way across the parking lot helping the girl into his car. Her dark pink eyes narrowed. "Why does he do that?"

            "Miroku?" Inuyasha guessed right off the bat. Sango was mildly surprised. In her interactions so far with Inuyasha, she thought that he was a little oblivious to other people's problems. 

            "Yeah." Sango kicked a pebble. "I wish I knew what to do. He doesn't seem to care no matter what I do!"

            "Well, what have you done?" Inuyasha asked.

            "Sent him letters and stuff." Sango shrugged. "Presents as well." 

            "Yeah, that's your problem right fucking there." Inuyasha's reply made Sango whip her head around at him. "Easy there killer. Guys don't think the same way girls do. You can't fucking shower us with posies." 

            "I could follow everyone else's example and sleep with someone else." Sango muttered wryly but knowing that a part of her wasn't joking.

            "I wouldn't do that if I were you 'cause personally, I think enough people are fucking enough other people." Inuyasha informed her in an almost wistful tone. "Guys are fucking stupid, just keep that in mind." 

            "Thanks for the advice." Sango almost started laughing. At least Inuyasha could admit the pitfalls of the male gender—not that she was being bitter or anything.

            She started to walk away and turned around to look at Inuyasha. 

            "Hey, um…" What the hell did she plan to say? "You and Kagome can work things out. Kagome feels really bad about the whole thing and yeah…" 

            "Shit, does _everyone_ know about it?" Inuyasha asked sourly. 

            "Uh, maybe Kouga doesn't know." Sango grinned teasingly. 

            "Kouga doesn't know a lot of shit." Inuyasha grinned back. "Seeya." And with that, the unpredictable dark haired boy walked away. 

---------------------

            Kagome really didn't know what she was thinking when she knocked on Rin's door. She knew Rin was probably home but was most likely with her constant companion, Sesshomaru. What were the odds that Kagome could talk to her for a little bit?

            She realized she had royally fucked up the situation with her and Inuyasha. And it hurt her. And then when he did essentially what she had done to him, what did she do? Went and screamed at Kikyo about it. Really smart. 

            _I wanted to blame anyone but myself. _

_            Kagura was right to hit me. Inuyasha should have. _

_            It's what I deserved. _

"Hello?" Rin peeked her head out her door. "Oh! Kagome! Come in. Is Inuyasha with you?"

            "No." Kagome shook her head. Rin raised her eyebrows as she let her inside. 

            "Sesshomaru went to a class he had so we're all alone." Rin informed her. "Is something wrong?" 

            "Yeah." Kagome wasn't sure how to tell Rin this story. But she did. She rushed where she could. Rin didn't interrupt her at all. Just waited patiently for her to finish. When Kagome did get to the end, Rin had a worried and concerned look on her face.

            Kagome realized that of course Rin was trying to be objective because part of her wanted to jump to her brother's defense. 

            "Well," Rin hesitated. "The thing is…I don't really know what to say to all this. It surprises me really. You two seemed to be getting along pretty well the last time I saw. But then of course, right after this was when this whole business started. You should talk to Inuyasha."

            "He hates me." Kagome looked down at her hands. "How can I talk to him?"

            "Inuyasha doesn't hate you." Rin smiled. "You don't have to worry about that."

            "But how do you know? How can you be so sure that he doesn't? I keep thinking about it and how he hates me now. It's distracting me from everything. I keep trying not to think about it and it doesn't work!" Kagome sighed and felt like she just might start crying.

            "You're in love with him!" Rin's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. 

            "What?!" Kagome reeled back in her chair. "No, no, that is not what I just said."

            "You are!" Rin put her hands to her face. "I can't believe it! Oh you have to go tell him how you feel!"

            "I'm not in love with Inuyasha!" Kagome insisted and felt something of a quickening to her beating heart.

            _In love with him?_

_            How is that possible?_

_            Rin is just confused. We've always hated each other. There's just no way…_

_            And yet…it hurts so much to think about him with another girl. _

_            And there were times…_

_            "I'm not letting you go!"_

"I…I…" Kagome tried to gather her thoughts. Curling up and sleeping together on Inuyasha's bed. Things like that were coming to her head. "Omigod."

            "That does tend to complicate the situation." Rin patted her on the back a couple of times. "Just go talk to him." 

            "I…I just can't." Kagome shook her head. "No, I can't."

            "You'll have to because that's the only way anything is going to get done." Rin insisted. "I think the biggest problem between you and Inuyasha is your communication breakdowns." 

            "I know that." Kagome took a deep breath. "But I don't feel like I can just tell him."

            "Maybe you should write it down or something." Rin shrugged. "It could help a little." 

            "Maybe." Kagome smiled sadly. "Maybe."

-------------------------

            He finished and Kagura could see the clock. Five minutes. He always left after five minutes. He was holding her against him almost more then usual. It was like he didn't want to let her go. 

            _It's your imagination…_

Kagura already began to fell that horrible sinking feeling that came every time Kouga left. She knew he would just leave again. Nothing changed. He was just using her. She looked up at the ceiling, her eyes blurring with tears. 

            Four minutes.

            _Kikyo…why do I make you suffer like this?_

_            Do you cry when you know I'm with him?_

_            Or have you ran out of tears?_

Three minutes.

            Kagura wanted to do something. Maybe run her hands through his hair but she knew he would never allow her to. Their physical contact was mainly just sex and the five minutes afterward. But wouldn't it be nice?

            _It can never be like when he pretended to be in love with me._

Two minutes.

            _You only believe the lies that you want to believe. _

_            Did you really think nothing would come back to haunt you?_

_            There's nothing but his hate and my love. _

One minute. 

            He was as regular as clockwork. It was almost like he could see the clock himself and knew when the five minutes were over. He'd get up as soon as it turned and get dressed. She would say nothing. 

            Why did she continue to do this to herself? 

            Time's up.

            But…something was different. 

            Kagura's eyes widened as she realized that Kouga had not gotten up at all. He was still holding her to him. She was confused. This wasn't the norm. He always left after five minutes. What was he doing? Was something wrong?

            Could she really complain about it though? 

            She heard a small noise and it first couldn't quite place it. It sounded like someone was crying. But who was crying? She had silent tears but she hadn't made the noise. Kikyo then? No, Kikyo wasn't in the room for one and even if she was crying, she couldn't have made that small noise. 

            Kouga?

            Kagura realized with horror that in fact it was Kouga. He was crying. Why was he crying? Kagura went to move just to make sure she wasn't imagining things but he stopped her. He moved so that they were looking at each other but he still had his arms around her. 

            Tears were coming out of his eyes and down his cheeks. 

            "Wha…" Kagura realized it was the first words they had spoken to each other in private for a long time. "What's wrong?"

            "I love you." 

            The words made the time stand still and Kagura was sure the moment lasted forever but when forever finally passed over them, she tried to open her mouth to say something. 

            _He can't love me…_

_            He could never love me…_

_            His blue eyes are usually so clouded with hate…how can he feel anything else? _

"Don't, don't say things like that." Kagura closed her eyes. It was so painful to see his tears. She had seen his tears only one time before. In the rain, so long ago. "Wasn't once enough for you?!"

            "I mean it!" Kouga clutched her body to his own. "I mean it Kagura…I mean it…" 

            "If you do it twice then you're crueler then I ever was." Kagura told him, looking straight into his eyes. "Isn't it enough that I let you use me? Do you really hate me so much?"

            "I knew…" Kouga's tears streamed down his face. "I knew that you would hate me when I told you. How could you ever love…someone like me?"

            _Is it true? Do you really love me Kouga? _

_            Or is this some sort of trick?_

_            I don't think I care. _

_            Just say the words because if you say them then I can't help but believe them._

She couldn't help herself as she pressed her mouth against his, the tips of their tongues touching. Was there anything to believe but what Kouga was saying? And when can you tell the truth between lies you wanted to believe and the truth? 

            Kagura broke the kiss and Kouga kissed her forehead before starting to get up. Kagura felt a lot happier then she had a long time. Kouga got dressed and then kissed her one last time.

            "I'll see you soon." Kouga told her and Kagura realizing that now she was faced with the Kikyo vs. Kouga situation again felt worry fill her. She went to the bathroom to wash her face. 

            She stared in the mirror at herself. That's when she heard them. 

-------------------------

            "Why won't you leave her alone?" Kikyo hissed at him. It was the first time that she had spoken to him when he was at their house. "What you do is far worse then what she did to you!"

            "That's none of your business Kikyo." Kouga argued. "Besides, Kagura loves me! What about you? You just tag along to everything!" 

            "You aren't the only one that she loves!" Kikyo raised her voice in anger. "And what the hell is the point of her love for her when you don't give a damn about her?!"

            "I do!" Kouga insisted. "Ask her yourself if you don't believe me!"

            "You're ruining her life!" Kikyo wanted nothing more then to smack him across the face. "She's unhappy, not that you would notice!"

            "You're the one who makes her unhappy!" Kouga yelled at the dark-haired girl. 

---------------------

            _Please…please…_

The angry shouts were echoing through her head. She put her hands to her ears, wishing she could drown out the yells that were also in her head. 

            "Please…don't fight…" Kagura pleaded with them quietly from the bathroom. "Please don't fight…" 

            _Neither of you make me unhappy…_

_            It's the pain I know I cause you that makes me unhappy…_

_            I love you both so much…_

How could she fix this? How could she make the fighting stop? How could she make them not hate each other? Why did she always have to hurt the people she loved? Why couldn't she do anything right?!  
  


            _There's only one thing I can do…_

_            You'll both be happy…_

_            Without me here._

Razor blades. Right there in the bathroom drawer. 

            She took one out. She imagined Kikyo's pain. Her lovely skin with its only blemish, scars. Kagura was the first one to kiss those scars and tell her how beautiful she was. Kikyo's hands that were so soothing as they passed over Kagura's skin and going through her hair.

            It pressed against her skin and she moved it in one sharp swift moment. One wrist began bleeding. One more. One more to go. And then she was gone. 

            And this one. This wrist was for him. Those hurt eyes, when he realized he was the butt of a cruel joke. Those eyes so filled with pain and hurt and hate. The way his soft lips moved over her skin. That's what she loved. 

            They were both bleeding so much. She was getting blood everywhere. Kagura didn't want the blood to be everywhere. The shower. She could take a shower and rise the blood down the drain. 

            _Good-bye everyone. _

_            I love you…_

-----------------------

            The unmistakable hiss of the shower reached the two who were still arguing. They both paused in their fight.

            "Well, as much as I enjoyed talking to you, I think I need a shower." Kouga walked confidently off towards the bathroom. 

            "Don't you dare!" Kikyo ran after him. They fought their way to the bathroom, both intending to get there before the other. They struggled briefly over the door and both of them ended up opening it, flinging it wide. 

            They both looked at the scene before them and both felt as though they might start vomiting. Kagura was lying in the shower, her eyes wide open, breathing slowly. The water poured down on her as blood ran down the bath tub sides and down the drain. The bloody razor blade was still on the counter, blood was everywhere.

            "Kagura!" Kikyo screamed the name in disbelief and worry, rushing towards the red-eyed girl. "Kagura!" Kagura blinked and looked at Kikyo, a small smile spreading over her face.

            "I must be in heaven…but that's not right…you can't be in heaven…you're still alive." Kagura reached up to touch Kikyo's face. Kikyo felt tears well up in her eyes. 

            "Kagura! Why?" Kikyo pressed Kagura's hand to her face. "Why did you do this?"

            "I just…wanted you guys not to hate each other." A tear rolled down Kagura's cheek. "You two are the ones I love most. But you hate each other because of me. All I do is hurt you two…" 

            _We both love you…_

_            And that's why we hate each other…_

_            Because we know you'll choose and we're so scared that you'll choose the other…_

            "Call an ambulance!" Kikyo told Kouga who immediately ran to do as he was told. "You idiot…Kagura…you're such an idiot…Do you think this will solve anything? Do you think I'd be able to forgive Kouga or myself?! Did you think that I could live without you? I barely remember what life was like before you…"

            "My life before you wasn't real. When I saw you…when I saw your gentle eyes…that's when I was born…" Kagura was smiling even though tears clouded her eyes. "Now I'm dying…and I get to see your face before I go…and Kouga…where's Kouga?"

            "He's coming." Kikyo closed her eyes for a moment, knowing she could never shut out the pain. "An ambulance is coming…You're not dying…not yet. I won't let you." 

            "Kagura?" Kouga came to sit next to them. "Kikyo? The ambulance is coming. They said to put pressure on the wounds to make them stop bleeding." 

            "Give me those towels." Kikyo ordered him and he got them for her and Kikyo pressed a towel against one of Kagura's wrists and Kouga did the same to the other. 

            "This must be heaven…" Kagura closed her eyes. "Because you're both here…" 

            Kikyo felt like dying. Why did Kagura think this is what she had to do? Kouga didn't look any better then Kikyo did. When the ambulance arrived, Kagura was barely conscious. 

            They didn't argue about who got to ride in the ambulance. Kikyo got in and began giving the information out. She knew Kouga was right behind them in his car. She looked at her dearest friend, her sister, and her lover as she lay there. 

            _If your death would cause so much pain…_

_            How can you look so peaceful when you're dying?_

----------------------------

            Kikyo had just gotten off the phone with her parents who were in London and said they were taking the first flight available to them. She came back to sit on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs next to Kouga who had his head in his hands. 

            A nurse came over to them. They both looked up hopefully and at the same time, slightly dreading her arrival. 

            They had been forced from Kagura's room when they arrived at the hospital and had been waiting in those stupid chairs for what felt like a lifetime. Now they were finally going to hear about her condition.

            "You two came with Kaze Kagura, correct?" The nurse asked. 

            "Yes." Kikyo quickly answered, anxious for news. The nurse checked her clipboard. 

            "Well, she's very lucky. She barely made it." The nurse shook her head. "We had to give her a blood transfusion because she lost so much but she's over now. The doctors have given her stitches and she should be completely recovered after a few days." 

            Kikyo drew in a breath of oxygen that tasted so sweet to her. It was okay. Kagura was okay.

            "Thank you." Kikyo wasn't sure who she was saying that to. Kouga ventured a question.

            "Can we see her now?" Kouga asked.

            "Not yet." The nurse shook her head. "The doctors are making sure there aren't any complications with the blood transfusion. In a little while they'll let you in." 

            Kikyo and Kouga looked at each other for a few moments. 

            "So…now what?" Kouga asked her. "What happens now?"

            "Kagura…she doesn't want us to hate each other…" Kikyo tried to think of how she should word this. "I think Kagura wants…us all to be together." 

            "You…mean…?" Kouga looked at her in shock. "Like…"

            "Yeah." Kikyo nodded her head. "There's only one woman in the world that could convince me to do such a thing."

            "I'm really glad you aren't a guy." Kouga grinned at her. "So…I suppose all's forgiven?"

            "All's forgiven." Kikyo smiled back. "She did it because she loved us both so much. So, there's only one way to make her happy." 

            "Then let's just do that." Kouga sat back in his chair. "I can't wait to see her face…"

            "I know, neither can I…" Kikyo agreed. 

--------------------

            "Kagura? Sweetheart?" Yuriko leaned over her adopted daughter cautiously. When she and her husband had come into the room, they were greeted by the sight of Kagura who was lying in bed with her eyes closed. On her right, Kagura had a hand over hers and on the left, Kouga, who they didn't know was holding her other hand. There were bandages around Kagura's wrists. 

            "Mom?" Kagura opened her eyes. "Hello."

            "Oh Kagura!" Yuriko hugged her. "I…I just can't imagine…when Kikyo called us…I thought the worst. The absolute worst…" 

            "You scared a lot of people half to death." Chuuei put a hand on his wife's shoulder. 

            "Wait, weren't you guys doing something in London?" Kagura looked confused at the two. 

            "Yes." Yuriko frowned and waved a dismissive hand. "The business associates threw a fit but I said, 'My daughter's in the hospital and I'll be damned if I'm not going to see her!'." 

            Kagura's eyes glazed over with tears. 

            _"Can't you see we're busy?"_

_            "My daughter's in the hospital and I'll be damned if I'm not going to see her!"_

_            Sometimes…_

"Should've seen their faces." Chuuei smiled fondly. "We took the first flight we could." 

            "They told us that you're going to be alright but they want you to see the hospital psychiatrist for a psych evaluation. You may need to start seeing a psychiatrist." Yuriko told her importantly. "But only if you want to, I'm not going to force you into it." 

            "It's okay…" Kagura looked at the four faces around her. Kouga and Kikyo. Yuriko and Chuuei. 

            _Sometimes the pain fades into a memory…_

_            So that we can be loved. _

"Everything is going to be okay." Kagura nodded to herself. 

--------------------

            Her plan was simple. 

            She adjusted her skirt a little as she sat cross-legged on the hood of Miroku's car. Several passer bys gave her extremely odd looks but Sango just sat there, smiling sweetly. 

            It came from a long list of plans that Sango had made and then decided against. What was the best approach to this problem? She remembered Inuyasha's remark about the intelligence of males and almost started giggling. Sometimes females could be just as bad, if not worse. 

            He came along, reading a book and didn't seem to notice at first but she must have caught the corner of his eye because he suddenly jerked his head up and openly stared at her. 

            "Hi." Sango greeted him, a pleasant look on her face. "Can I have a ride?" There was a double meaning in that question. 

            "You have a car." Miroku pointed out coolly. "Why don't you drive it?" 

            "Well…" Sango seemed to be considering this. "I would but it came to my attention that everyone else has had a ride in this car and I haven't."

            "Oh?" Miroku knew what she was saying but was trying not to show how taken aback he was. This was Sango! Sango did not sit on people's car and make blatant sexual invitations. "Well in that case…" 

            This plan was a very good one. And why was that?

            Very simple: Because there was one thing that Miroku did not seem able to resist. 

            "I think I should do it at least once." Sango looked at him coyly. Or what she hoped desperately looked coy. 

            "Get in the car then." Miroku was trying not to look downright smarmy. Which is how he felt. When they arrived at his Miroku's place, Sango was glad he took a freaking hint, which she had been worried he would purposely not take. 

            There were no flowery phrases for Sango, not soothing words or gentle actions. He practically attacked her because he knew that he wanted this more then he wanted anything else. Sango let him and helped contribute in the attack as they got to Miroku's bedroom. When the door shut, the clothing started to come off. 

            She had imagined such an encounter before but the reality was a little different. For instance, it fucking _hurt_. It was her first time and she knew it was supposed to hurt but still, this was pretty bad. 

            When it was finished, Sango knew she was bleeding and that was just great. The cherry on the freaking cake. 

            _Really appropriate pun Sango._

_            What did you expect? Sex with you was going to make him love you? _

Miroku was rather calm about the whole thing and that made her pissed as hell. She was going to kill him. 

            "Shit." Sango looked at the blood on the sheets. "I'm probably bleeding to death." 

            "I could…make you some tea." Miroku offered almost meekly, as if apologizing for the damage he had done. "If you want." 

            "I'm in pain and bleeding! Make me some goddamn tea?! Do you even care?" Sango screeched at him. "No, of course not, I forgot! That was sure silly of me, wasn't it?" 

            "You wanted to do this." Miroku pointed out. 

            "This is how you treat your girls, no wonder they only come by once." Sango spoke bitterly. "Just how many women have you had to wash these sheets after sleeping with for?" 

            "Sango—" Miroku tried to interrupt.

            "No, you're going to listen to me for one goddamn second!" Sango hit her hand on the bed and Miroku looked almost scared of her. "I've tried, and I've tried, and I've tried to apologize and care for you and all that but you just don't care anymore! So you know what? Fuck you Miroku! One goddamn mistake and you're never going to forget it are you?" 

            "Sango…" Miroku almost growled. "It's a little hard when the woman you love more then any other kills breaks your heart." 

            "Oh gee, well, let's all sit down and listen to Miroku's sob story!" Sango was near hysterics now. "Because we all know that I heard my parents say they would fire your dad and was like, "Oh, I'll break up with him, it's cool.'" 

            "What was I supposed to think?!" Miroku asked her. "The way you said it, what else was I supposed to think Sango?"

            "I came back for _you_!" Sango didn't want to start crying, not like this, and not in front of Miroku. "How many times do I have to tell you? I love you Miroku. And yeah, I just had sex with you, which was probably meaningless to you but I don't really care! I don't know what else to do for you."

            "You know…" Miroku's eyes closed for a moment. "You're really hard to argue with." 

            "What?" Sango wasn't expecting this response. 

            "Of course…I've always found it hard to argue with the woman I love." Miroku seemed to be talking to himself. His serious expression made Sango giggle. It felt like all her anger had disappeared for a moment. "Why can't you make it easy to hate you?"

            "Same question." Sango shot back. She leaned back onto the pillows. "That really does hurt though. Maybe I'm a pain wussy." 

            "Do you want me to go make that tea?" Miroku offered more politely. "I really heard it helps." 

            "Sounds good." Sango shrugged. "I'll…uh, change your sheets or something."

            "Nonsense!" Miroku threw up a hand. "What kind of host do I look like?"

            "The kind that makes your guests bleed." Sango hit his shoulder playfully. 

            "Touché." Miroku raised an eyebrow and nodded. 

            "So what does this mean?" Sango asked him seriously. "I take it Operation: The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Pants worked?"

            "Yes it did." Miroku touched her nose with his index finger. "Although…that's not exactly what it was." 

            "Oh really?" Sango inquired.

            "I think it would be a shame to waste the beginnings of a very beautiful relationship." Miroku said and then began to hum the ending theme of Casablanca. 

            "Okay, dork, go make my tea." Sango rolled her eyes at him.

-------------------------

            They were watching The Little Mermaid together, which was funny to think about. Had Inuyasha been there and had a camera, he would have been able to take the blackmail picture of a lifetime. But, had Inuyasha been there, he probably would have sat between Sesshomaru and Rin who were curled up under a blanket on the couch, watching the movie with a bowl of popcorn.

            Rin felt as though she could never outgrow the Disney classics. As the ending rolled through, she sighed, both happily and sadly. 

            "What is it?" Sesshomaru asked her, already sensing that she wasn't happy at that moment. 

            "It's just…" Rin looked at the screen sadly. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a life like that? You fall in love and get married and everything's perfect…And your first time is with the one you love most…" 

            _Neither of us knows what it's like to make love with someone…_

_            Someone who cares and loves you._

"Rin…" Sesshomaru cupped her chin in his hand and tilted it towards him so he could look into her eyes. "You can't change the past."

            "I wish I could." Rin enjoyed the feel of Sesshomaru's hand on her face. "I wish I could be the perfect girl for you…"

            "Don't wish for things you already have." Sesshomaru told her. Rin looked at him, feeling she might burst with happiness. He kissed her and Rin eagerly returned it. The heat intensified with each kiss. 

            "Sesshomaru…" Rin trailed off. "I…" How could she tell him? 

            "Let's go to bed now." Sesshomaru suggested. Rin knew he understood what she wanted to ask. 

            _Life isn't a fairytale…_

_            But maybe that's why you appreciate it so much when it feels like one._

_------------------------_

She had tried to talk to him but she couldn't. She just couldn't. Her whole body would freeze up and she would tell herself that she didn't deserve to speak to him. And she never did talk to him.

            After a long summer of avoiding each other, Kagome went off to college. Inuyasha was staying at home and was going to go to a community college. ("My grades suck too fucking much for anything else.") And he had gotten a job at the local video store. 

            At college, Kagome felt even more miserable then before. She wanted to tell him still. She tried to think of some way to say it. She could call him. She could wait till one of the breaks and tell him. 

            _"Maybe you should write it down or something…"_

_            I should follow Rin's advice. _

So she sat down and wrote a letter to Inuyasha. It took a long time because it never sounded just right and she kept crossing things out. She finally had it. It was long but it told Inuyasha everything. She put it in an envelope but she couldn't send it. 

            Kagome had frozen at the mailbox. She put the letter in her pocket and she returned to her dorms. 

            Her mother called a week later to check in with her.

            "Well, do you wanna talk to Inuyasha?" Noduko asked right before Kagome was about to say good-bye. Her heart thumped. 

            "Yeah, sure." Kagome mumbled over the phone. There was a small shuffling noise and then Inuyasha answered.

            "Yeah?" He sounded gruff and she remembered that this was usually how he answered the phone. Her face broke out into a smile. 

            "Hey Inuyasha." Kagome greeted him.

            "Hi." Inuyasha seemed really unsure what to say. 

            "So…how are things?" Kagome asked. 

            "Their cool." Inuyasha was probably shrugging. She could just picture it. "My art classes at the community college are really cool and everyone's really cool there. I'm thinking about drawing manga…or something. I don't know."

            "That sounds really nice. I bet you would be really good at that." Kagome wondered if she might start crying. That probably wouldn't be very helpful. 

            "Yeah, and the video store isn't so bad." Inuyasha went on good-naturedly. "There's this really cool chick named Yura that works there. We hang out a bunch, you'd really like her." 

            "Oh…" Kagome felt her heart breaking into two pieces. "She sounds cool." 

            _Is this what it feels like when your heart stops beating? _

_            Why does it hurt? _

"Yeah, well, I have to go, Yura and I are gonna go hang out with her weird ass cousin and his boyfriend. Those two are fucking loons." Inuyasha told her. There was a small whapping noise. "Ow! Dammit, Yura! Don't do that. Jakotsu is a fucking loon." There were the sounds of a reprimand. 

            "I'll let you go then." Kagome whispered. Then she let the phone slide down and she hung it up. 

            _He's moved on…_

_            You've missed it…_

_            Because you never said anything…he's with her. _

She went through her stuff until she found the letter she was going to send to him. Instead, she watched it burn.

            As it burned in the flames that she had given it to, she knew that everything was too late and that she would never be able to be with him. She had been selfish and stupid for so long that she had missed out on that one thing. 

            _Good-bye Inuyasha…_

_            I don't deserve you…_

_            So why does it still hurt when I tell myself that? _

_            How can I expect you to wait for me? _

_            When I was never nice to you? _

---------------------

            "I now pronounce you, man and wife." The man finished up. "You may kiss the bride." 

            "That's so sweet!" Kagura said as she watched the couple kiss with her napkin, looking quite tearful. "Oh, we should get married!"

            "Yes, I can see it now." Kikyo began wryly. "I now pronounce you man and wife. And wife." 

            "This ceremony took _forever_." Kouga whined. "I'm sooo hungry." 

            "You're getting fat." Kagura teased him, poking his stomach. "You eat too much." 

            "You better not let Sango hear you talking like that." Kikyo gestured towards the pregnant woman who was being fawned over by her husband. "Miroku said she's been quite touchy about the subject."

            "Poor Miroku probably went out and warned everybody." Kagura nodded in sympathy. "Ten bucks says that Inuyasha says something insensitive to Sango."

            "I'm not betting against you." Kouga held up his hands. "Although, I have to say, for a pregnant woman, Sango doesn't look bad."

            "Three's company and four's a crowd." Kikyo quipped. Kagura laughed.

            "Still, I'm so happy for Sesshomaru and Rin! They've been waiting for this wedding forever!" Kagura put a hand to her chest. "And look at them, they look so happy! Don't you guys want to have a wedding?"

            "Who votes we don't have a wedding?" Kikyo raised her hand and Kouga immediately followed suit. "Majority rules, so no, we aren't having a wedding."

            "No fair, you guys always team up against me." Kagura stuck her lip out pitifully. Kouga and Kikyo just chuckled at her. "I can't _believe_ Sesshomaru made Inuyasha his best man!"

            "Rin made him." Sango had joined the group with Miroku right behind her. "She told me so. It's not like Sesshomaru really had a choice anyways, he doesn't really have any male relatives." 

            "And Kagome was the maid of honor!" Kagura chimed in, happy to find someone who thought the wedding was just as great as she thought it was. "Those two haven't really seen each other since Kagome went off to college three years ago. She didn't even return home for the holidays until this summer and that's because Rin wrote to her." 

            "It is strange…" Kikyo speculated. "But then, it probably has something to do with Inuyasha." 

            "Tell me about it." Kagura flipped her hair over her shoulder. "We should probably go see them. I think their ready to start shaking hands with the crowd."

            "Tell me again how you got your parents to let you guys have Rin's wedding at your house?" Sango asked the two girls.

            "Easy," Kagura cracked her knuckles. "I said, 'Mom, Rin and Sesshomaru want to have an outdoor wedding.' She said, 'Oh, they could have it here if they wanted!'"

            They went and shook hands with the bride and groom. Then they all walked off to where the tables of food and the bar were. A string quartet was playing in one corner of the big field. 

            "We sprang for extras." Kagura shrugged as Sango looked around with raised eyebrows. "Inuyasha's gonna need some liquor if he plans to get in Kagome's pants tonight." 

            "Nice." Kouga grinned. 

            "So do you two know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Kikyo inquired.

            "No, I want to be surprised." Sango put a proud hand on her rather round belly. 

            "How the fuck are you losers?" Inuyasha joined them, looking as though he would much rather be making a beeline for the bar. 

            "Feeling good today Inuyasha?" Sango asked, laughing at him. The bow tie on his tuxedo was already gone and his shirt wasn't tucked in anymore, plus a few buttons had been undone. 

            "Fuck, I never thought I'd see the day my fucking sister got married to that…guy." Inuyasha shot a look at Sesshomaru. "He better fucking take care of her. I hear one word about him doing anything and I'll fucking kill him."

            "Alright, show of brotherly love!" Kagura cheered. "Alcohol anyone?" 

            "Starting early?" Kikyo joked. 

            "I'm sure Sesshomaru and Rin will be fine. You can tell he's her servant, he'd do anything for her." Sango watched the happy couple who were being congratulated by people still. Rin was beaming with happiness and with her wedding dress on; she looked like a doll or maybe a princess. And Sango and Kagura had to admit that Sesshomaru actually looked hotter. (Something they had deemed impossible.) 

            "I'm getting something to freaking eat." Inuyasha yawned. "I've been up since seven in the morning and Rin had lost her mind."

            "And that is exactly why we won't be having a wedding." Kikyo turned towards Kagura with the air of a teacher speaking to a student. 

            "Okay, fine." Kagura looked grumpy. 

            "Kagome looks so out of it…" Sango glanced over at the young woman who was at one end of the huge buffet table. "I haven't seen her in so long…"

            "I always did wonder what happened." Miroku looked at Kagome with a worried face. "And as we all know, it's never too late." 

-----------------------

            Kagome felt sick. She was happy for Rin and Sesshomaru, really she was. But seeing them all like this made it felt like a single day hadn't passed. Seeing Inuyasha was harder though. 

            She had barely looked at him. Or spoken to him. She didn't know what to say. And what would it matter?

            Her hand went to the silver tongs for the cherry tomatoes but it brushed against another hand which was reaching for the same thing.

            "Oh, I'm sorry—" Kagome cut herself off as she saw that it was Inuyasha, who was looking at her with wide perplexed eyes. "You can…um, go ahead." 

            "Thanks." Inuyasha helped himself to several cherry tomatoes. He handed the tongs to Kagome. She took them and just for a second their eyes met. 

            And they both smiled. 

            _"It's never too late." _

-------------------------

            Omigod! IT'S THE FREAKING END! I'm going to go eat something! I haven't eaten for like two days now. I really need to. I've been drinking lots of fluids but I'm still freaking hungry. WOO! I knew the hunger thing would make me finish. (Though you would have thought it would make me finish faster.) 

            So just some more notes! (Jade likes to listen to herself talk.) 

            I already know that is not the ending line of Casablanca, so please do not even review just to tell me that I got it wrong. It was an allusion to the ending line of Casablanca. Of course Teresa will take the liberty to leave that as a review as she is a smartass and I left myself wide open for that one. 

            Hellboy is a good movie, go watch it. 

            (Wouldn't Hellboy be a great name for an Inuyasha fanfic? If it wasn't already a comic book and a movie?)  

            I realize I'm going to get so much shit about the Kagome/Inuyasha thing. Oh well. It happens. That's how I felt like ending it. If you don't like it, go read a story with a happy ending for everyone. I wanted to try something different with this ending. 

            And…if you want to read more Inuyasha fanfiction by me, please go check out me and Teresa's super cool collaboration I Believe In Yesterday which is under the author name 'Jade and Teresa'. (We're so clever with our naming abilities.) Or you can read Walls That Lie Between, my own fanfic. (That's gonna be so long it's not even funny. Seriously, what a full length novel.) 

            Most of all, thanks everybody for reading! Your reviews are wonderful! (And the ones you'll undoubtedly leave right now.) Bye guys!


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